Show the volume control icon on the task bar 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, June 22

Thanks to Ophelia for filling in for me yesterday!

Today the wind stopped. 
Here in the foothills of the Rockies that is a very rare occasion
and is formally marked on the calendar.

Within an hour the Saskatchewan Air Force attacked with their
airborne tankers, the big spring mosquitos

They are no problem. You just hit them behind the eyes with a 
baseball bat or crow bar or 2x4 and knock them out. Then the 
cowboys on horses or kids on ATVs skid them away and load 
them onto those long cattle transporters for export. Rumors have 
it, that they are processed into non-beef ravioli filler in California.

Have FUN!

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Some people die at 25 but aren't buried until they are 70. --- Mark Twain
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
Someday I guess I'm just gonna get arrested, but I can't resist off-the-wall humor when people least expect it. I went into the department store and was greeted by a pretty salesgirl with a slightly foreign accent, who said, "Good ahvternoon sir, vat is it you desire?" Naturally I grinned and winked with an eyebrow. She defintiely was not slow and instantly blushed. So I told her that she was even more beautiful when she blushed. That didn't go over too well and she threw the phone at me, or would have if it hadn't had a line on it. Probably the one she was standing on. That line tore the phone out of her hand in mid swing, and bounced it against the front of her strapless tube-top. The tightly stretched tube top gave way and various top secret foam wedges and shims flew out and all over the counter top. That made her fly into a total rage, and instead of re-loading her tube top, she started throwing anything within her reach at me, including those foam items. It was quite a show! Eventually she realized that she was rather exposed and tried to pull up her tube top. That is when she found out the hard way that a size D tube does not stay put on a size B girl, unless there is some help from foam wedges and shims, but that those had bounced off my head and were mixing it up with the rubber duckies in the fountain behind me. So she shrieked and ran away, holding up her now rather lose tube-top with both hands. Luckily for me another store employee close by had watched the whole episode and came over. It took us a while, though, to stop laughing.
Click through the picture to the large version. "Formula Fogie" sure looks like fun!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Krebes, 31, in Vernon, Connecticut Busted for buying dope from cops A 31-year-old Vernon man faces drug possession charges after allegedly placing an advertisement seeking marijuana on Craigslist. Police say twelve members of the Statewide Narcotics Task Force took Michael Krebes into custody on Thursday afternoon in the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant where he allegedly went to buy the pot from the narcs. He was not armed and they did not require additional officers. The Hartford Courant reports that Krebes was charged with possession of less than 4 ounces of marijuana and was released on $2,500 bond.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Eileen Re: How do I restore the volume control icon? Dear Webby, Can you tell me how to get the volume control to show me the amount of sound? It was working fine till Saturday when I accidentally hit it. I also hope you're able to tell me how to restore my computer. It too was working before I hit the volume control. I have tried many ways to get this fixed, but the only thing that comes up on the computer is my messages page. You have always given great advice & I'm hoping you can help me correct this. Many Thanks for any help. Eileen Dear Eileen To enable the display of the Volume icon, follow these steps: Click Start, and then click Control Panel. Double-click Sounds and Audio Devices. Click Show volume control on the taskbar. Click OK. If you have the new desktop features of Windows XP enabled, follow these steps: Click Start, and then click Control Panel. Click Sounds, click Speech, and then click Audio Devices. Click Sounds, and then click Audio Devices. Click Show volume control on the taskbar. Click OK. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Formula Fogie looks like fun to look forward to, but I have always had fun with vehicles. One day, when I was still living way out of town, the engine on my truck decided to strike and I had to hitch-hike into town to get some parts. There was not much traffic in those days, but as luck would have it, a cute lady came along and stopped for me. It turned out that she was a bush-bunny and just as bushed as I was. After a few miles and smiles we sat pretty close and it became increasingly difficult to tell who was actually driving the truck. Above the town the "Old Highway" splits off. The "Old Highway" wasn't used much for driving any more, just for "parking". She pulled in there and parked. The cab of the truck was definitely too crowded, and the loading bed of the truck was not very inviting in the starting rain and her two big dogs tied up back there. However, there is lots of room under a 4x4 pick-up truck. Some time later somebody rudely kicked my leg and asked: "Just what in heck do you think you are doing here?" My vision was a bit obscured because I was on the bottom, but I recognize a police boot. So I told him: "I'm just working on her clutch." The cop chuckled and told me: "Might as well work on her parking brake too. Her truck is inside the church at the bottom of the hill."
Daily tip from Keep Paint Samples To Coordinate Home Purchases I always keep paint chip samples from the paint I have used in various rooms of the house in my purse. I write the room on the back. That way I can always hold the paint chips up against rugs, curtains, towels, pictures, etc. when I'm out shopping or at flea markets, garage sales, or thrift stores to see if an item will coordinate. It saves me from purchasing items only to get them home and see they don't quite fit in. By thriftygirl39 from Columbus, OH Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of her parents' private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were waiting in a doctors office a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
It was the first camping experience for Jed. As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went for a hike in the woods. In about fifteen minutes he rushed back into camp, bleeding and dishevelled. "What happened?" asked a fellow camper. "I was chased by a black snake!" cried the frightened Jed. The camper laughed and retorted, "The black snakes around here aren't deadly." "Listen," groaned Jed, "If he can make you jump off a fifty-foot cliff, he is!"

Bourbon Canines

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