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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, July 1
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Happy Canada Day!

On Canada Day every town and village gets big funds from 
the federal Governemnt to put on fireworks and other 
festivities. When Canada Day falls on a Friday or Monday,
most people leave town, but those, who stay, focus on
the fireworks. I have a pretty good view from my back porch,
but might go up onto the roof this year.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



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We haven't crossed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we stop saying 'It got lost' and say 'I lost it.' ---Sydney Harris The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if you foul up, there's no law against whacking it around a little. --- Joe Martin In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is. --- Chuck Reid
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them. Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave." At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. Friday is YOUR day to drive, you Bozo!"
There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?" To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canarries and a 10 ton limit, so i have to keep half of them flying at all times."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Theodore Bickel, 25, of Okolona, Kentucky Suspect stole cruiser during arrest HERITAGE CREEK, Ky. (UPI) -- The lawyer for a Kentucky drunk driving suspect accused of stealing a police cruiser during his arrest blamed his client's actions on the influence of alcohol. [Right, he never does any drunk driving while sober!] Heritage Creek police said Theodore Bickel of Louisville was handcuffed and placed in the back of a police cruiser June 19 when he managed to remove his seat belt, move his handcuffed hands to his front, make his way to the front seat of the car and speed off in the vehicle, The Louisville Courier-Journal reported Thursday. Bickel, 25, crashed the car a few miles away and it flipped over a guardrail onto the roof. Bickel fled the scene and was arrested the following day, police said. Keith McKinney, Bickel's attorney, said his client was "very sorry that this happened and apologizes for his conduct." He said Bickel even apologized to the officer while stealing the vehicle. "I think he said, 'Sorry, dude,' when he took off," McKinney said. "Alcohol changes a lot of people. He wouldn't do anything like this if he was sober, I'll tell you that." Bickel is facing charges of wanton endangerment, driving under the influence, criminal mischief, escape, fleeing or evading police and theft by unlawful taking.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bianca Re: Which font is best? Dear Webby, We got this big argument going at work about which font is the best. What is your opinion? Bianca Dear Bianca Best for what ? For a casual announcement Dauphin is good. It is relaxed but very readable. For something romantic you can sacrifice readability to slow down the reader and make him or her spend more time on each word. Try Vivace BT, For business, use Trebuchet if you want to appear as a modern innovator, Zurich Ex BT if you want to appear as a trusted banker, Tunga or Tahoma for reliable business Arial for clarity and precision Lucida Console is for a techy look and also for maximum readability on poor monitors or bad printers or faxes. For web sites I recommend Arial. It is the most readable and sharpest font that is available on the most machines. Tunga might be nicer, but you can't count on everybody having it on their computer. If they don't have the font, that you are using, your pretty document may look quite odd. When in doubt, stick with Arial, like I am using here. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Large Juice Can as Charcoal Chimney Yesterday, I wanted to barbecue for the first time this year. I realized that I had no lighter fluid and really needed to start the coals up quickly. I thought of those charcoal starter chimneys and remembered I had a can of juice in my pantry. I emptied it into a pitcher and cut out the top and bottom. I put it on top of the bottom grate of my grill, put some newspaper in it, then some coals, and lit it. In no time, I had white hot charcoal. Easy! By KatherineC from Reno, NV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A nice old lady went to an auction sale. There she was attracted to a parrot in a gilded cage. The parrot was large, very healthy looking and exquisitely colored. The old lady was so attracted by the parrot's appearance that she couldn't help but bid on it. She bid, determined to have the parrot, but another bidder competed and drove the price very high. The old lady eventually bought the parrot. She was at the cashier's desk and told the cashier that she was so excited about the beautiful appearance of the parrot that she had neglected to ask if it could talk. The parrot spoke up, "Who do you think was bidding against you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years. It is now believed that Bin Laden called the US Navy Seals himself.

Happy 144th!






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