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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, July 4

Happy Independence Day!


Before mowing the lawn it looked like some storms in the West 
would get here in about an hour or more. No problem, I can mow
the back part in the meantime. 

Half an hour later a lawn chair flew by, doing about 50, and 
my cap raced after it. Then a gust of wind nearly knocked me over.
Well, I finished that lap, put the lawn mower away and went 
scouting for my cap. Took me a bit, but I got it back.

In New Orleans, if the wind is over 39 miles per hour, 
they call it a hurricane. This was just a rambunctious 
Chinook, and between gusts it sometimes slowed down to
about 45. 

The heavy hurricane chimes, that Sandie had sent me years 
ago from Florida, are nicely sheltered on the roofed deck,
but gonging away like crazy. So I got myself a coffee, 
unchained one of my deck chairs and watched the performance.
I love Chinooks, the hot, dry and gusty winds, but this one
seemed to have something extra with it. 

It was not dry! After I got good and comfortable, it shifted to
NorthWest and horizontal rain started, flying by me a foot away,
with just a bit of spray bouncing at me. 

After my second cup of coffee it settled down. By that time
it had reached Calgary, 60 miles away and knocked out the
power for 5000 homes.

Well, time to get back to work here.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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The saying "Getting there is half the fun" became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines. --- Henry J. Tillman An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. --- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Best Oxymoron's State worker Legally drunk Exact estimate Act naturally Found missing Resident alien Genuine imitation Airline Food Good grief Government organization Sanitary landfill Alone together Small crowd Business ethics Soft rock Butt Head Military Intelligence Sweet sorrow Happily married "Now, then..." Passive aggression Clearly misunderstood Peace force Extinct Life Plastic glasses Terribly pleased Computer security Political science Tight slacks Definite maybe Pretty ugly Rap music Working vacation Microsoft Works
An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it." She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?" The salesman says, "Why do you ask?" She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
Click through the picture to the large version. 1910 Cadillac With Mother-in-Law Seat
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award goes to Philip A. Contos, 55 of Parish, New York Helmet protester crashed and died ONONDAGA, N.Y. Police say a motorcyclist participating in a protest ride against helmet laws in upstate New York died after he flipped over the bike's handlebars and hit his head on the pavement. The accident happened Saturday afternoon in the town of Onondaga, in central New York near Syracuse. State troopers tell The Post-Standard of Syracuse that 55-year-old Philip A. Contos of Parish, New York, was riding a 1983 Harley Davidson with a group of bikers who were protesting helmet laws by not wearing helmets. Troopers say Contos hit his brakes and the motorcycle fishtailed. The bike spun out of control, and Contos toppled over the handlebars. He was pronounced dead at a hospital. Speed was not an issue and troopers say Contos would have survived, if he had been wearing a helmet. ------------ I used to ride bikes, often at or beyond their or my limit, and had a few high speed spills, but I was always wearing a helmet. I still have a stainless steel thermos, that I dented in a 120 mph spill on the way to work in 1980.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Amanda Re: Decent monitors Dear Webby, Some salesman told my boss that you can't get regular 4:3 monitors any more, that they are all sawed off now. Remembering what you had said, I told him he was full of used hay, and that the liar probably told him, that all computers now have Windows 7 on them. Well, he wants to see some actual numbers and links. You got to back me up now! Amanda Dear Amanda No problem at all. Just go to http://webby.com/monitors. I don't sell them, but I always put a link to currently good monitor deals there. You can get 1600 x 1200 LCD monitors there from $110 and up. With most video cards you can rotate the display, so that the top is on the left side, and then turn the monitor 90 degrees, so that you have a proper 3:4 word processor monitor and see a page, just like it is going to get printed. There is absolutely no need to put up with a sawed off monitor. Have FUN! DearWebby
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After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to put a green mud pack on her face and wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that monfter?"
Daily tip from
Thriftyfun.com Cookout Tip: Cut Burgers in Half When serving food at cookouts, go ahead and put some of the hamburgers on buns, then cut them in half before placing on the serving platter. This helps cut down on the number of kids who take a whole burger, and then waste half of it. By Becki in Indiana http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A new real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get your lazy butt out there and sell him a houseboat!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
There was a woman who spent some months serving God in Kenya. On her final visit to a remote township she attended a medical clinic. As the Maasai women there began to sing together, she found herself deeply moved by their hauntingly beautiful harmonies. She wanted to always remember this moment and try to share it with friends when she arrived home. With tears flowing down her cheeks, she turned to her friend and asked, "Can you please tell me the translation of the words to this song?" Her friend looked at her an solemnly replied, "If you boil the water, you won't get dysentery."

Happy Birthday, USA






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