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Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, July 10

One of the two mystery couples, who don't have their email
address on their checks, responded. Another fan, who is 
already subscribed, but has bouncing her
subscription, apparently subscribed again via PayPal and is
not responding to Ophelia's emails. And refuses
to talk to Ophelia, because she is in Canada. 

Ophelia is learning the trials and tribulations of publishing!

Have FUN!

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"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." --- Mark Twain "A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled." --- Barnett Cocks Ideas are much like children - your own are wonderful. --- Socratex
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."
Some friends asked me to sit their dog, while they go on vacation. He is really smart! They had named him "Stay". It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
Clarification: yesterday's pictures were from and by Sue, the friend is the Eastern King bird. Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Conrad Rzewuski, 24 in Phoenix, AZ Moron lasered police helicopter A Phoenix man is in jail after pointing a laser at a police helicopter. It happened shortly before 10:30 p.m. Wednesday. The helicopter was flying over the neighborhood of 23rd Avenue south of Greenway Road when somebody on the ground pointed a laser at it. Two pilots, both of them Phoenix police officers, were on board the helicopter at the time. According to Sgt. Tommy Thompson, the helicopter crew was able to direct officers on the ground to where the laser originated. Officers arrested Conrad Rzewuski, 24. He has been booked into Maricopa County Jail and charged with two counts of endangerment, which is a Class 6 felony. Pointing a laser at an aircraft might seem harmless, but it is actually very dangerous, not only causing disorientation but also potentially permanent eye damage, and it can cause the aircraft to crash onto houses. That’s why it is very illegal. Phoenix leads the nation in such incidents. Last month, the Federal Aviation Administration said it would start fining people up to $11,000 per incident of pointing a laser at an aircraft. While the FAA can only file civil charges against an offender, the Phoenix Police Department said it can and will file criminal charges. “We'll charge them with endangerment, aggravated assault, and interfering with a flight crew," Phoenix Police Chief Pilot Joe Hanss said in June. Incidents involving strong, tightly focused flashlights, are treated the same as laser pointers, since the danger of catastrophic outcome is the same. For now the bonehead is wearing a pink uniform in Joe Arpaio's not airconditoned resort, and is not getting any sympathy at all.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wayne Re: Gmail problems Dear Webby, Since Gmail changed the look of its e-mail program, I am sadly thinking of finding something else. I mean it really sucks. I am not into Chrome or Firefox, so it may take awhile. The way gmail presents itself is really convoluted though,don't you think? Wayne Gmail is good. The browser-view of Gmail is not a full featured email program, but just intended for quickly peeking at your mail, while away from your main machine. Do I sound like a broken record? Or are you a new subscriber? There is a good comparison of email programs at Simply set your Gmail to POP, and then use ANY full featured email program to properly handle and file your mail. You can still peek at your mail with the browser, if you need to quickly check it from the courtesy counter of the Home Depot or from a friend's place. While checking it with a browser, nothing is downloaded into the courtesy computer. You don't have to worry about leaving a record about your affairs on the Home Depot computer. Everything stays on the web until you get home and use your proper email program to check your email. You can choose to keep a copy of the mail on the web as an archive. Gmail lets you use about 70 GB for a free mail archive, however, that archive is not intended to be used indefinitely, and you are expected to download and file the "keepers" yourself. Once you reach your limit on Gmail, any further mail is blocked without warning, and you have to dump stored mail to get going again. Gmail is great and very reliable and has very good spam filtering. Just don't think the browser based peeker is a full featured email program. It is strictly for peeking, while away from your own computer. I use Eudora to take care of all my email, including my Gmail. Millions of people handle their Gmail with Outlook or Outlook Express, but it makes no difference which program you use, as long as you use a proper, computer based, full featured email program, not just a peeker. Have FUN! DearWebby
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When my son first start dating he said, "I want to marry a beautiful woman, a good woman, a smart woman, one who'll be a good mother to our kids, a woman who will make me happy." I told him he'd better make up his mind.
Daily tip from Tape Manual to Back of Appliance When you receive a new appliance, write the 800 number on the manual as well as the model number and then take a picture of the front of the manual for your records. Then take the manual itself, slip it into a ziploc bag, and tape it to the back of the appliance, along with all paperwork that came with the appliance. If you need the manual at a future date, look for the appliance and the manual will be there. On appliances with a case to hold the appliance, such as a cordless drill, tape the manual into the case. This saves so much hassle from trying to find the information when something goes wrong and you need to look something up. A lot of service calls can be avoided if you have the manual to refer to. By one.of.a.kind from AL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week." Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said, "It's not all my fault either; she's not easy to get along with."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the marriage she was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked - "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?" "Oh, not any more, he doesn't," the other replied. "What stopped him?" "I started talking about my next husband."

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