Email notice about Microsoft update 

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Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, July 27

I am amazed at the boneheadedness of Obamanov's advisors.
Obviously they don't realize, that the lenders are getting rather
concerned. Their reluctance to reduce taxes to encourage
economic recovery just makes them look like idiots, who don't
understand the economy or the influence of taxes on it.
The juvenile delusion that taxing the job creators will get
the bills paid is insane. That didn't work for Stalin or 
anybody else, who tried that.

Hopefully somebody will clue them in before month-end!

Have FUN!

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"Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself." ---A.H. Weiler Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Plato had slaves...George Washington had slaves... So, do I feel intrinsically better than these two men? Of course I do! They're dead! --- Todd Andrew Reid
A golfer is playing a round of golf with his buddies. On the sixth hole, a hole over water, he proceeds to flub nine balls into the water. Frustrated over his poor golfing ability, and about ready to hit somebody, he heaves his golf clubs into the water, and begins to walk off the course. Then all of a sudden he turns around and jumps back in the lake, his buddies apparently thinking he is going to retrieve his clubs. When he comes out of the water he doesn't have his clubs and begins to walk off the course. Then one of his buddies asks, "Why did you jump into the lake?" He replied, "I left my car keys in the bag."
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Thanks to Andy for this story: As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."
Thanks to Sue for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Daturas
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jack Van Sickle, 28, Des Moines, Iowa Driver accused of ramming Des Moines police cruiser A Des Moines man is in custody for ramming a Des Moines police squad car repeatedly Thursday night and early today during a chase. Jack Daniel Van Sickle, 28, is charged with felony eluding, assault on a police officer and driving while his license was suspended. He is held in the Polk County Jail on $10,500 bond. Officer Paul Parizek followed Van Sickle’s vehicle at about 11:55 p.m. Thursday because Van Sickle allegedly made an improper lane change. “Concerned that the driver may be impaired I followed after the car to further monitor it’s operation,” the officer wrote in a report When Van Sickle signaled a left turn and then turned right shortly thereafter, Parizek activated emergency lights and tried to pull him over. After slowing to a stop on East Grand Avenue near East 19th Street, Van Sickle reportedly sped away, followed by the officer. Speeds reached 70 mph on Capitol Avenue, according to the report. After the suspect’s vehicle appeared to slide under a parked semi trailer in a parking lot, Parizek prepared to get out of his police cruiser. “I could see Van Sickle looking at me,” the officer wrote. “Van Sickle then suddenly backed up with his car, striking mine in the front push dumper area. I thought this may have been unintentional at first, but when I didn’t move, Van Sickle, while looking directly at me, did it a second time.” The suspect managed to get away again and raced off down Capitol Avenue. Parizek attempted to disable the fleeing vehicle by sending it into a spin with a bumper tap. Van Sickle accelerated. The bumper of the officer’s car became wedged under the passenger door of Van Sickle’s car, the officer wrote in his report. “I could feel Van Sickle accelerating and bumping his car into mine,” the officer said. Another officer rammed his squad car into the fleeing Chevrolet Impala. Parizek applied his brakes and was able to bring the chase to a halt. The officer was trapped in his squad car so he crawled out a window. Other officers arrived and helped remove the suspect from the car. Officers are checking to see if Van Sickle was impaired at the time. Van Sickle’s car was impounded. Officer Parizek’s car was disabled and towed from the scene.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Email notice about Microsoft update Dear Webby can you please let me have the directions for the update for the Microsoft Windows Security Update. I recieved 2 notifications about it in my mail but both were infected with a worm virus. I am not sure if this was sent from Microsoft and the worm attached itself along the way, or if it was sent by a nasty type!! I have been away for a while and heard about the update from friends. Is it necessary to download this? Thanks Ann Dear Ann First, change the date on your computer. Because your date is incorrect, your mail gets lost way back in amongst long taken care of mail. I found yours accidentally, because I had to go back there for some other mail. DON'T install or use those phony update notices! Just carefully find and delete the attachments, then delete those mails. Microsoft does NOT EVER send out update notices, especially not from AOL or Yahoo addresses. They have a lot more class than that. Windows has an option built in for automatically getting updates directly from Microsoft. Just click on the desktop, hit F1, and seachr for "updating" to see how that is handled by the version of Windows that you are using. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife. "Fetch the Bible," he commanded. The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner. "Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog. That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?" "I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at the dog. "Heel!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Good Lord! He's Pentecostal!"
Daily tip from Store Honey Bottle in a Mason Jar I buy the plastic squeeze bottles of honey at the grocery store and they always drip and leave a "honey ring" in my cabinet. So here's a great tip. Put the honey bottle right inside a mason jar or other jar that it will fit into. No more honey drips! The drips stay in the jar and with a lid on it, the bugs and ants aren't attracted to it! By tltrani from Boulder Creek, CA A well cleaned out shampoo pumper works fine for honey. At worst, you get one precise drop of honey oozing out of the long spout after usage, but it is easy enough to catch that with one finger. The container stayes clean and dry. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Bob for this story: During my freshman year at East Texas State University in Commerce, I worked nights as a waiter. The following year, wanting my evenings free, I applied for a dormitory maintenance job and was asked, "How are you on punctuality?" "Oh, I'm good at that," I blurted out without thinking. "I'm an English major."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Irishmen are walking along. One says to the other, "What a beautiful night Mick, just look at dat moon." Mick stops and looks at his friend. "You're wrong Paddy, dat's not the moon, dat's the sun." They began to argue when they come upon another Irishmen. "Excuse us sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what's dat ting up in the sky shining. Is it the moon or the sun?" "Sorry fellas, I don't live around here."

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