What to do when you can't vote 

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Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, Aug 5
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thanks, Sig!

Looks like the OPEC leased Senate got away without approving the 
Keysotne XL pipeline. It is a 36 inch pipeline from Alberta,Canada
to Texas, USA, hauling NorthAmerican oil to the refineries and 
distribution points in Texas. 

The Keysotne XL pipeline is privately funded, not tax payer
funded, though undoubtedly, a lot of polititians will arrange 
for donors and relatives to get fancy jobs reporting on it.
However, construction and maintenance of the pipeline
is privately funded and once the permit is approved, will
pump $20 Billion of new spending into the US economy 
and create about 120,000 new jobs and and generate 
an estimated $600 million in state and local taxes along 
the pipeline route, according to the Teamsters Union, which
is quite in favor of the pipeline and the 120,000 new jobs.

The measure passed the House 279-147, but Harry and the 
other pro-Arabian senators managed to hurry off for their
undeserved taxpayer funded vacations, instead of voting
on it. After all, it's only 120,000 jobs. 

Have FUN!

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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, "On Sale." --- Rita Rudner "Things are more like they are now, than they ever were be- fore." --D. Eisenhower One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. --- Elbert Hubbard If you help a relative in need, he or she will remember you the next time they are in need. --- Socratex
At a major medical convention, a noted internist arises to announce that he has discovered a new miracle antibiotic. "What's it cure?" asks a member of the audience. "Nothing we don't already have a drug for," the internist replies. "Well, what's so miraculous about it?" "One of the side effects is short-term memory loss. Several of my patients have paid my bill three or four times."
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The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her now ex-husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper. "Honey," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like the government is going to cut the military forces. They are going to eliminate six over-aged destroyers." To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother when she's gone." ---------------------- That sure reminds me of the first English speaking girlfriend I had. I was about 18 then. She was 26 and required at least two hours of arguing every night to make her "headache" go away. I sure learned a lot of English ! One time, I tried to jokingly call her "Battle-Axe" but accidentally called her "Battle-Ship". She didn't let me forget that for the 3-4 years that we were together.
Click through the picture to the large version. Alsace
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Charles Stambaugh, in jail in Montana Cheetos no excuse for drunk driving Cheetos may be great for a quick snack, but if you're trying to cover up your boozy breath when you get pulled over... not so much. At least that's what the Montana Supreme Court is telling a Lincoln County man, who tried to cover up his alcohol-laced breath when he was stopped for drunk driving and speeding in November 2009. Prosecutors had successfully convicted Charles Stambaugh of the November 2009 traffic stop, where a Lincoln County traffic deputy saw him speeding and followed him to a local truck stop. The deputy told the court he found Stambaugh inside at the snack counter with "red, puffy eyes" in the process of buying the "dangerously cheesy snack," quoting court documents. Prosecutors say that Stambaugh stuffed an "extremely large handful" of Cheetos into his mouth before the deputy could stop him, and continued to shovel them in during questioning. The deputy said Stambaugh was "uncooperative" and "would not relinquish his Cheetos." Stambaugh was then taken to jail where he failed a breath test. Stambaugh had been appointed a public defender, but later dismissed the attorney and tried to represent himself. Almost 10 months later he asked for a new court attorney, but the Justice Court said he hadn't shown "good cause." The high court agreed with that ruling last week, and said the state's evidence was sufficient to uphold Stambaugh's original conviction. The court offered no direct advice on the general issue of Cheetos consumption.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol Re: Can't vote Dear Webby, it has been happening fairly frequently that the site for voting does not respond when I try to vote. It did so again this AM. Thought you might like to know, perhaps those folks do not..... Carol Dear Carol They are not on our servers. They are totally independent and on some West coast server. I already wrote them this morning. Their addresses are: reply@thriftyfun.com support@cumuli.com Have FUN! DearWebby
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Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy. "I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to complaining patients from morning 'til night, on a day like this, and still look so spry and un-bothered when it's over?" The older analyst replied, "I don't turn on my hearing aid till 5PM, otherwise the batteries go dead before the evening is over."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Add Ranch Dressing to Mashed Potatoes Use up that last bit of ranch salad dressing in the bottle. When making mashed potatoes, just make them as usual, but add the last bit of ranch dressing. Pour a little bit of milk into the bottle and shake to loosen the dressing. Pour into mashed potatoes and mix well. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
"Hello," she whispered. "Hi, Honey. How's your mother doing?" I asked. "She's sleeping," she answered, again in a whisper. "Did she go to the doctor?" I asked. "Yes. She got some medicine," my niece said softly. "Well, don't wake her. Just tell her I called. What are you doing, by the way?" Again in a soft whisper, she answered, "As soon as I finish eating, I will be practicing my trumpet."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner party. As the guests were enjoying their dinner salad, the maid called the hostess from the table. The maid informed her that the cat had climbed on the kitchen table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's midsection. The hostess decided to quickly drive to the corner store and get some canned salmon to fill the eaten portion and camouflage it with parsley sprigs. As the guests were enjoying the fish, the maid called the hostess into the kitchen again and announced while wringing her hands, "Madam, the cat is dead." The hostess and her husband informed the guests and suggested it might be best if everyone went to the hospital and had their stomachs pumped. Returning home, the couple asked the maid where she had put the cat. "It is still out on the road where you ran over it on the way back from the corner store."

Double Exposure

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few days of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish?

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