Wrong format newsletters 

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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, Aug 8

The clover flowers were brown and ready to be cut and blown 
all over the lawn. Since clover is tougher than dandylions and
overpowers them, I time my mowing to help them. I noticed 
that this year the department of Education has copied my 
method for the high school soccer field across the street 
from me. Sure beats wasting a big pile of money on weed

Have FUN!

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"One ship sails east, another west, By the self same winds that blow. It isn't the gales, it's the set of the sails, That determines the way we go." --- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace. "How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war?" Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, "who'll give us the reason for being opposed to war?" A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised his hand. "Johnny?" The teacher said. "I hate war," Johnny said, "because wars make history, and then some poor innocent kid has to memorize that boring stuff."
Back by popular demand: Competition BBQ Secrets Still the best book for and about BBQ! Not just large competition recipes, but secrets for any type of BBQ, large or intimate. Now you can afford it: Competition BBQ Secrets

A lady was browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the hostess, "My husband is going to be so upset when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale." "I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," the hostess replied. "Normally, yes," the lady said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a bunch of Greenpeacers in Calgary Greenpeace activists fined Members of Greenpeace who rappelled down from the catwalk of the Calgary Tower to unfurl a huge banner have been fined by a Calgary court. The activists unrolled a banner that read "Separate Oil and State" on August 3, 2010. Police originally charged nine people, eight Canadians and a man from Belgium, with one count each of breaking in and mischief to property under $5,000. Police believe the activists gained entry through a ground level emergency exit and then rode the elevator to the top. Once there, they strapped on climbing gear and crawled out a window on the observation deck and onto the tower's catwalk. Seven of the nine were in court in Calgary on Friday to answer to the charges and were fined $2000 + 15% victim surcharge, Police had decided against shooting them down and allowed the Greenpeace members to finish their protest. They were arrested when they exited the tower. Calgary is not a state, it is a town, and not a captital. The capital of Alberta, a province, not a state, is Edmonton. The province of Alberta is not in the oil business. All oil business in Alberta is 100% Free Enterprise, even though some pension and medical and social service funds do have minority shares in quite a few oil related companies. That is strictly for generating funds, not meddling in the decisionmaking. Possibly the banner had been intended for Syria, or some place, where the state messes with oil, but the Greenpeacers got scared and picked a safer location, even though their banner made absolutely no sense in Calgary. By the way, Calgary had the first G8 summit without violence or property damage.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: PENNIE Re: WRONG FORMAT HI WEBBY, THANKS FOR YOUR NEWSLETTERS -- I REALLY ENJOY THEM. HOW DO I GET BACK TO NORMAL FONT -- I DID NOT ASK FOR LARGE PRINT. COULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME ? TAKE CARE AND KEEP WELL. PENNIE Dear Pennie Remember, you are "one of those silly yahoos", that everybody laughs about, and you don't rate reliable email reception. You are subscribed to both versions, the regular and the large font. *********@yahoo.com|PENNIE|humor HuMorL Both are sent out to you every nght. One or more is apparently censored by YAHOO, because they think you are "one of those silly yahoos" who don't deserve newsletters. Once your newsletter has entered the YAHOO server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. Then it is strictly between YAHOO and you. Since you can't get YAHOO to deliver mail reliably, it would be a good idea to get a reliable address on the side. You can still use YAHOO for cyber-sex, or whatever it is that you yahoos do, but at least you will have reliable mail for newsletters, utility invoices, etc. I will generate an invitation to Gmail for you. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Thanks to Susanne for this one: At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to com- ment on my first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls. After several minutes with no reaction, I asked, "If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?" Without looking up from his paper my husband replied, "About 10 years."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make A Draining And Drying Frame I needed a way to drain green beans and butter beans after picking and washing them. My husband made a frame and covered it with Hardware Cloth. After washing the beans, I pour them on the wire and spread them out to drain. I have found that the frame has other uses too. This morning, I washed pillows and the frame is perfect for drying them in the hot sun. The picture shows the bottom side of the frame. The top side has no edging which makes it easy to rake the beans off into a bucket after they are dry. By hate litter from NC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
To determine the source of an internal ailment, Judy had to undergo a battery of diagnostic tests. All was going fine until she was give a form to sign which stated that one out of 10,000 people had a violent allergic reaction to one of the tests. Obviously very concerned, she asked the doctor, "What number are they on now?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake's edge and yelled through his megaphone, "Number 99, come in, please. Your time is up." Several minutes passed, but the boat didn't return. "Boat number 99," he again hollered, "return to the dock immediately or I'll have to charge you overtime." "Something is wrong here, boss," his assistant said. "We only have 75 boats. There is no number 99." The manager thought for a moment and then raised his mega- phone: "Boat number 66," he yelled. "Are you having trouble out there?"

Uyuni, Bolivia

When I attended a convention of oil men, the first speaker was from Texas. He rambled on for a good half hour and then introduced the next gent, who happened to be from Oklahoma. The Texan said, "Oklahoma, an outlying province of Texas." The second speaker said, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, but, just to set the record straight, there ain't NO state that can out-lie Texas."

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