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Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, Aug 14

The Saskatoon berries are ripening nicely. I picked
enough to make half a dozen small jars of jam, but then
neighbors and visitors got to them. One neighbor even
brought me fresh salad and parsley and carrots!

No panic, there are still plenty of berries, that will ripen
over the next week or so.

In one of the Saskatoon bushes I found a goose berry
bush. Those will take another two weeks, and I am really 
looking forward to them.

Also found a dogwood bush in there. Pretty, shiny, red berries,
but as far as I know, not edible. It looks like birds seeded 
them, while they were snacking on my berries.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"Bigamy is having one wife to many. Monogamy is the same" --- Oscar Wilde "Marriage is the punishment for the fun you had as a bachelor." --- Socratex
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours, but don't worry - we still have one engine left." A Kansas Beauty turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
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What does a Mississippian say when you ask them to spell 'Mississippi'? "The state or the river?"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Marvin Lane Ussery, 48 Former inmate arrested for breaking into jail Marvin Lane Ussery was spotted while trying to make his way back into California State Prison in Sacramento. He previously served time for robbery at New Folsom. You would think once being let out on parole in 2009 the 48-year-old wouldn't be keen for a return trip, but he was caught by Corrections Sergeant Tony Quinn scaling a 7ft tall fence, topped with barbed wire, trying to get back behind bars. Officials are now investigating whether Ussery's bizarre behaviour was part of a plan to smuggle in drugs or mobile phones, but have found no evidence as yet. If his intention was simply to return to a prison cell, the 48-year-old has now got his wish, and is now being held in Sacramento County Jail on suspicion of violating his parole and being an ex-convict on prison property. Prison spokesman Tony Quinn told KCRA.com: 'The only statement he made to investigators is that he wanted to reminisce. It must have been a great time for him.' He added that officials at the prison 'quickly realised' they were not dealing with an escapee after discovering Ussery.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Stan Re: Paypal credit card info request Dear Webby, I got a notice from Paypal to reconfirm my credit card, and I did. But then I got another one to another one of my email addresses. By that time I realized that neither of those addresses are the one I use at PayPal. I guess I got took! Now what? Stan Dear Stan Yes, you forgot what I had warned about a many times. PayPal will NEVER send out a mail asking you to enter credit card information in a mail form. The REAL PayPal does that on a secure form at their site. Always close all browsers and open a fresh one before doing anything serious at PayPal. You donated your credit card info to some crooks. They may be grateful, as they spend your money, and think about you. But don't count on that. About all you can do is call your credit card company and tell them that you gave your credit card info to some crooks. They will then put a block on that card and issue you a new one. As long as you report it on the same day, they usually just bounce any charges made on that card on that day. With some of them, though, you may have to do some arguing. I would strongly advise that you do the arguing soonest, like RIGHT NOW! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Clerk in flower shop: "Sorry, we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets?" Customer (sadly): "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone. I think, shw would notice the difference."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use an Exfoliating Glove For Cleaning To clean in between the faucet and knobs in the bathroom, use an exfoliating glove from the dollar store. It works great on the tub faucet and in the kitchen too. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A farmer who has been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim. "I understand your claiming damages for the injuries you supposed to have suffered?" Stated the counsel for the insurance company. "Yes, that's right," replied the farmer, nodding his head. "You claim you were injured in the accident, yet I have a signed police statement that says that when the attending police officer asked you how you were feeling, you replied, 'I've never felt better in my life.' Is that the case?" "Yeah, but..." stammered the farmer. "A simple yes or not will suffice," council interrupted quickly. "Yes," Replied the farmer. Then it was the turn of the farmer's council to ask him questions. "Please tell the court the exact circumstance of events following the accident when you made your statement of health," his lawyer said. "Certainly," replied the farmer. "After the accident my horse was thrashing around with a broken leg and my poor old dog was howling in pain. This cop comes along, takes one look at my horse and shoots him dead. Then he goes over to my dog, looks at him and shoots him dead too. Then he come straight over to me, smoking gun in his hand, and asked me how I was feeling. Now, mate, what the hell would you have said to him?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Sign at cafeteria entrance: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Scribbled underneath: Socks can eat any place they want.

On The Hoof

A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no, he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just a block away. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if hubby lives there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door and there sits their police car, lights still flashing. True story, told by the driver at his first AA meeting in jail.





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