Compacting Mail 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, Aug 15

It sure was a beautiful weekend! 
To help the Saskatoon bushes recover from all the neighbors' 
frantic early morning harvesting, I watered them a few times,
and enjoyed the beautiful rainbows. 

I'll try to take a picture of one and see how it turns out.
However, I think I will sell that Nikon Coolpix L100 to raise
some cash. If anybody is interested, make me an offer!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sidney J. Harris Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. --- Robert Orben
Thanks to Penny for this report: MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco doesn't wan't me to shop there anymore.
Back by popular demand: Competition BBQ Secrets Still the best book for and about BBQ! Not just large competition recipes, but secrets for any type of BBQ, large or intimate. Now you can afford it: Competition BBQ Secrets

Thanks to Ole for this story: After a frantic caller told the Battle Creek, Michigan, Humane Society about two ducks trapped by the ice on a pond, the shelter manager, Sven, rushed right over. Sven inched his way out over nearly 100 feet of ice. As onlookers stood by, he carefully made his way to the ducks, and, thankfully, back to safety on the shore. Both of the wooden decoys are expected to survive. ---------- Is the summer really that cold in Michigan this year?
Some colorful weeds along the edge of my back yard.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Knopp, 39, in Marathon, FL Called cop to sell dope If you're seeking help from the cops, it's never a good idea to call one and ask him if he's interested in buying some marijuana. But that's what Jennifer Knopp, 39, did Thursday night, says the Monroe County Sheriff's Office. Agency officials say Knopp called Deputy Christian Galls on his SWAT-issued cell phone while he was working at the Marathon substation at 9:15 p.m. She had his phone number from a previous case he'd worked involving her, although his arrest report doesn't go into details. The report says Knopp told Galls she "had the stuff he was looking for," meaning "crippie, a slang term known as a potent form of marijuana." She asked how much he wanted, and he said a quarter-ounce. Galls told her he'd call her back, then told narcotics detectives about the phone call. He called Knopp back and agreed to meet her at the Marathon Community Theatre, about a mile from the Sheriff's Office. Galls headed to the theater along with Deputy Paul Bean and, when they parked and walked up to her 1999 Chrysler Concord, she drove away "over two plastic parking rails." Galls and Bean ran back to their cars and pulled Knopp over a short time later. In her car was Christopher Flingos, 42. He refused to be searched and was released right there. Meanwhile, Knopp reportedly told Galls she had pot in her purse and, sure enough, the report says, the deputies found 24.5 grams of it inside. When Galls asked her why she would offer to sell pot to a cop, she reportedly said she hoped he would help her get away from Flingos. She said "she didn't know what else to say," the report says. To confirm she made the earlier call, Galls dialed her phone number and an iPhone in her purse rang. The cop's name and number showed on the screen. Knopp was charged with possessing marijuana.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Suzanne Re: Compacting mail Dear Webby, Under my Outlook Express email, there's a choice for 'File, Folders, Compact, Compact All Folders'. Would you please shed some light on any advantage in compacting email folders? It sounds like something to save space, so is it something I should be doing? Thanks very much. Suzanne ps: you've got the best newsletter going, I love it, every bit, and am faced every day with the difficult decision of opening it first or saving it for last. Thanks again. Suzanne Dear Suzanne Most email programs compact mail either automatically or via a command like that. Compacting the mail is similar to the Defrag you can do to the hard drive. It's a good idea to compact your mail now and then. Rumors, that frequent compacting of the mail will eliminate the inevitable Outlook Express and Outlook crashes, are unfortunately not true. The only way you can postpone the inevitable crashes of those two programs is by keeping the IN, OUT and TRASH folders trimmed down as much as possible. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Driving down the highway one day, I saw this slogan on the back of a well-known trucking company's vehicle: "We Always Go the Extra Mile." Then I noticed another phrase scrawled in the dirt just below it: "We keep missing the right Exit."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Linseed Oil to Treat Garden Handles Rub the handles of of pitchforks and shovels once in awhile with a rag dipped in linseed oil. You'll find the shafts both last longer and are much more pleasant to use. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Some wacky definitions. SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife she'd look fat in mink. CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed. EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you know you are. FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in Texas theater that isn't a western. MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue. COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone. EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and places that deliver. OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings. BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself." BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers. TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches. PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods. PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened. SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut. TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked. "I reckon so," replied the farmer. The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man yelled to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!" "Well, shoot!" said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only comes up chest-high on my ducks!"

Yester Year

GOVERNMENT PIPE SPECIFICATIONS 1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around the hole. 2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use holes of different length than the pipe. 3. The I.D. (inside diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the O.D. (outside diameter) - otherwise the hole will be on the outside. 4. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date. 5. All pipe should be supplied without rust - this can be more readily applied at the job site. N.B. Some Vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipe. If available in your area, this product is recommended as it will save a lot of time on the job site. 6. All pipe over 500 ft (153m) in length should have the words "long pipe" clearly painted on each end, so the Contractor will know it is a long pipe. 7. Pipe over 2 miles (3.2 km) in length must have the words "very long pipe" painted in the middle, so the Contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or a very long pipe. 8. All pipe over 6" (152 mm) in diameter must have the words "large pipe" painted on it, so the Contractor will not mistake it for small pipe. 9. Flanges must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes for bolts quite separate from the big hole in the middle. 10. When ordering 90 degrees, 45 degrees or 30 degrees elbow, be sure to specify right hand or left hand; otherwise you will end up going the wrong way. 11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way. 12. All couplings should have either right hand or left hand thread, but do not mix the threads - otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it is unscrewed from the other.





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