Wide screens too coarse 

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Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, Aug 20

Jerome at SpirtitScents.com
figured out my problem, that my ISP had misconfigured the mess
they made with a proxy on their side. So I cussed at the 
boneheads until they fixed their mess. I didn't have to make 
any changes and I refrained from doing anything on my side,
that would have complicated the issue. After only two hours
of running down the batteries in two cordless phones, they
finally figured how their settings should be, and everything 
worked again. 

Thanks, Jerome!

Have FUN!

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The easiest way to make your old car run better is to check the prices of a new car. --- Socratex If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. --- Socratex
Thanks to Jeanne for this one: Looking in the mall for a nightgown, I tried my luck in a store known for its sexy lingerie. To my delight, however, I found just what I was looking for. Waiting in the line to pay, I noticed a young woman behind me holding the same item. This confirmed what I suspected all along: despite being nearly 60, I still have a very "with it" attitude. "I see we have the same taste," I said proudly to the 20- something behind me. "Yes," she replied. "I'm getting this for my gramma."
Back by popular demand: Competition BBQ Secrets Still the best book for and about BBQ! Not just large competition recipes, but secrets for any type of BBQ, large or intimate. Now you can afford it: Competition BBQ Secrets

A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago biting his finger nails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, "Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?" The man gives a nod of approval while shaking terribly. She comes back with a drink and he downs it quickly. Ten minutes later, the flight attendant sees the same man shaking and biting his nails. She brings him another drink which he swallows immediately. A half hour later she returns to see that the man is shaking uncontrollably, and apparently crying. "My goodness," the flight attendant says, "I've never seen someone so afraid to fly." "I'm not afraid of flying," says the man sobbing loudly, "I'm a pilot, but I am trying to give up drinking."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Justin Newberry, 23, Tennessee Man Accidentally Shoots Himself while Driving Down Interstate 24 Clarksville, TN – Today, August 17th, around 1:30pm Justin Newberry, 23 was in a Nissan Altima driving westbound on I-24 when he had to apply his brakes to slow down for traffic. After he applied the brakes, a handgun known as “The Judge” slid out from under the seat. When Newberry reached down to pick it up he grabbed it by the trigger at which time “The Judge” went off. The round, which was a 410 slug, went into right thigh, exited, and continued on until it hit him in the left leg just above the ankle. He was able to safely pull the car into the median area about mile marker 6 and call 911 for help. To shoot through his thigh and into his ankle, the gun must have been held fairly high, as if by a passenger. He was transported by Lifeflight to Vanderbilt and is in stable condition. There were multiple forms of identification from different locations in the car so officers were not able to determine where he is from or where he was headed prior to be taken away by Lifeflight. Additionally, officers on the scene found marijuana and drug paraphernalia inside of the vehicle. Charges are pending. That particular handgun is very odd looking. It is a revolver, with the drum almost twice as long as the barrel, and made to shoot .410 shotgun shells or .410 slugs. They are not known for accidentally going off, but for awsome recoil.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lindsay Re: Coarse wide monitor Dear Webby, I followed your instructions and tried for hours to get acceptable results on my laptop screen. The oily slime look of course did not help at all. It makes it look like a reasonably sharp picture from the distance, but it is just an illusion. Fine graphics are not, and small details on spreadsheet charts are washed together. What can I do, that I haven't done yet? Help! Lindsay Dear Lindsay For a start, stop listening to the liars, who try to con you into believing wide monitors are top quality. They are not. They are rejects, no matter how hysterical the liars get. If you put any wide screen laptop beside, for example, a Lenovo 1600 x 1200 4:3 flat screen monitor, then you will instantly see the difference. The 1600 x 1200 screen has real pixels in the number claimed, not fake pixels claiming to be the equivalent of whatever the advertising department printed. If you shop around and check with PriceGrabber, you can find 16" x 12", 1600 x 1200 monitors for less than the cost of new glasses. Your laptop has a socket in the back for plugging in an external monitor. Then you will see lines on charts, that are only one pixel away from other lines, not washed together lines, and graphics the way they were intended to be seen. Yes, I am quite opinionated on this topic, and quite happy, that I was smart enough to buy a refurbished Lenovo 16" x 12" three - four years ago, and that, in spite of my diabetes, the prescription for my glasses has not changed in four years. A decent monitor makes a huge difference! Have FUN! DearWebby
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During a recent business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and 777 airliners being assembled. Before the engines were installed, huge weights were hung from the wings to keep the planes balanced. The cast iron weights were bright yellow and black and marked, "14,000 lbs." But what I found particularly interesting was some stenciling I discovered on the side of each weight. Imprinted there was the warning: "Remove before flying."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Paper Clip to Mark Tape End To keep from losing the end of postage tape, place a paper clip on the sticky side of the tape just below where you are making the cut. Store the tape with the paper clip, and you are ready to go next time you need to use the tape. The paper clip is easy to pull off and thick enough to keep from losing the end of the tape. By Hate Litter from NC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Judi and Trisha were at an auto show. There they saw a hot-rod with a jacked up rear. "Judi, why is the back end higher than the front?" Trisha asked. "Don't you know ANYTHING?" Judi sighed exasperated. "If you've got the back up like that, then you're always going downhill and save a lot of gas!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."

» Who's on first

A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. They dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage, much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. He called her on the phone, "June." "Yes, this is June." "Will you marry me?" "Of course I will! Who's this?"

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