Vacuuming out the computer 

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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, Aug 22

Thank you, Matt!

Just received this from Ivan in Libya:
All the carnage was distant until night fell then the sea 
boiled over with small fast boats that dumped 10 or more 
Special Forces and Al Qaida each at hundreds of points 
along the beach in and around Tripoli. The slaughter began 
at that moment. The distraction of the small gangs inside the 
city proved successful and allowed the unfettered invasion 
from the sea. Killing hundreds of thousands of Libyans in the 
next few days may be the result of this full fledged attack
 by NATO.

1300 innocent civilians killed in Tripoli in the last 11 hours + 
5000 injured. Nonstop bombings and 3 Apache gunships firing 
their mini-cannons constantly are the real killers. The gangs 
of Al Qaida are burning houses, looting shops and kidnapping 
every woman in sight on a street. Any prominent supporter of 
Ghadafi was targeted and their houses attacked first. The number 
of gangs have been increasing, because they are coming in 
from the sea in small NATO craft directed by the Special Forces 
of the 30 participating NATO nations, and include all the 
professional demonstrators, who want to take advantage of
the situation to do some major looting and maybe a bit more. 
Looks like after six months of bombing and a massive D-Day
style allied invasion from the sea, the government of Libya is
about to fall. People are just tired of the continuous bombing
every night, and hope to be able to deal with Al Quaeda and 
the Communists later.

In the meantime, women flush their make-up stuff, burn
Western clothes, and mostly they just hide. 
Somebody is going to be sorry.
There may well be another revolution later on.

Have FUN!

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Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don't reach them till they're in their 40s. --- Socratex
A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible. The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. "That's fine," he said. "Report for work at 8 tomorrow." "But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."
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Newspapers 1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. 2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country. 3. The New York Times is read by people who think that Soros bought the right people to run the country. 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts. 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave LA to do it. And they are nt quite sure whether it is coke or weed, that is illegal. 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much. 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train. 8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated and/or extramarital. 9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country .... or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy, as long as they are Democrats. 10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores. 11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
Thanks to Sandie for this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Steve Horner in St George, Utah Bonehead fights Nevada's Ladies Night law Man targets Nevada's ladies' night law ST. GEORGE, Utah (UPI) -- A Utah man known for his sex discrimination lawsuits against businesses with "ladies' night" promotions said his sights are set on repealing a Nevada law. Horner is actually from Minnesota, where he was jailed for being a nuisance to the commissioner of Minnesota's Department of Human Rights, and later encouraged to leave the state. Steve Horner is currently in St. George, Utah and said he wants to see Nevada lawmakers repeal the law, which was passed this summer and takes effect Oct. 1, because it allows for "ladies' night" promotions that offer free admission and discounts on the basis of gender, the Las Vegas Sun reported Friday. Horner said he filed complaints with the Nevada Equal Rights Commission last year against the Blue Martini bar and restaurant in Las Vegas over its ladies' night, but the complaint was rejected because he had never been to the bar in person. Horner said allowing ladies' night promotions is discriminatory and unconstitutional. "How can you say you're an egalitarian state one moment, and then you're not when there's money to be made?" he said. Considering the number of currently shut down casinos, bars and restaurants in Nevada, it is probably a good idea for Horner to stay in Utah.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: Vacuuming out the computer Dear Webby, In this letter in the tech dept you said it was a good idea to vacuum out your computer. How do you do that? I really am hesitant to take anything apart for fear I won't get it back together right. Thanks, Sharon Dear Sharon Turn the computer off, but don't unplug it. It's safer if it is properly grounded. Don't unplug anything, but look at the back of the computer. You will see that most of the plugs and cables are closer to one of the side walls than the other. They are closer to the "floor" side. The opposite side is the "lid" side. Usually the lid has thumbscrews or larger screws than the floor side, or a big sliding knob. If you see that knob, try that first. Unscrew the two or three screws on the lid. Then you can slide it backwards and open it easily. Set it aside flat on the floor. If you don't, it will fall over and scare you right when you are under the table. When that happens, it's quite hilarious for the onlookers. Now take a vaccum cleaner and put the narrow crevice tool on it, if you have one. Vacuum out the inside of the computer, preferably without quite touching anything in there. The dust and the dustbunnies and spiderwebs are all lightweight and vacuum up easily. You will see one or more fan shrouds. Normally, they can be removed without tools, but usually you have to look at them with a flashlight, to see where you have to push to snap them loose. Remove those shrouds and clean the fancy looking heat sinks under them really well. You may need a Q-Tip to help you there. Then put the vacuum away so that you don't trip over it, find the lid and re-attach it. Carefully empty the vaccum cleaner and retrieve the vacuumed up lid screws and use them to secure the lid. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?" "Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?" "Yes, God made you," the older man answered. For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in a nearby mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."
Daily tip from Wash Shower Curtain with Clips Attached I used to hate washing my shower curtain. Undoing all those clips at the top, what a bore! One day, I took the entire curtain, clips and all, and threw it in the washing machine on delicate. What a time saver! No damage was done to the curtain and I saved so much time and aggravation. By junk02915 from Riverside, RI Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound determination to become Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department, admiring a set of weights. "Please, Dad," pleaded the boy, "I promise I'll use 'em every day." "I don't know, Michael. It's really a commitment on your part," the father pointed out. "Please, Dad?" the boy continued. "They're not cheap either," the father came back. "I'll use 'em Dad, I promise. You'll see." Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and headed for the door. From the corner of the store he heard his son yelp, "What! You mean I have to carry them to the car?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An extremely shy fellow once brought his date a bouquet of flowers. She threw her arms around him and kissed him long and hard. After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door. She exclaimed, "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." "You didn't!" he replied. "I'm just going to run down to the cemetery and steal some more flowers!"

Igneous Rocks

"Doctor, you've got to help me. I'm always talking to myself." "Now, Judy," he replied, "that's not too serious, lots of people these days talk to themselves." "Yes . . ." she whined, "but I'm such a bore!"

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