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Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, Aug 27

 No need to worry about the Bonehead Awards getting renamed 
 to "Reticent Prong Category Recognition" or that other 
 Macinese  terms would be allowed to infiltrate. 
 Friends in Florida sure seem amused about the governors on
 the East Coast already declaring a State of Emergency and
 grabbing for funds, long before the first drop of rain or 
 gust of wind hits the area.
 You can watch New York Times Square and see that the only
 noticable breeze there is from the cabs. It might get windy
 tomorrow, but right now it looks like a very calm summer night.
Have FUN!

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"According to 'Mondern Bride' magazine, the average bride spends 150 hours planning her wedding. The average groom spends 150 hours going, 'Yeah, sounds good.'" --- Jay Leno Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. --- Samuel Goldwyn
Here is an oldie-goldie that was sent back to me: Father O'Flannagan dies due to old age. Upon entering St.Peter's gate, there is another man in front, waiting to go into heaven. St. Peter asks the man, "What is your name what did you accomplish during your life?". The man responds "My name is Joe Cohen, and I was a New York city Taxi driver for 14 years" "Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your silk robe and golden scepter, now you may walk in the streets of our Lord." St. Peter looks at the Father, and asks "What is your name and what did you accomplish?" He responds, "I'm Father O'Flannagan, and have devoted the last 62 years to the Lord". "Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may enter." "Wait a minute," says O'Flannagan, "You gave the taxi driver a silk robe and golden scepter, why did I only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?". "Well," St. Peter replied, "We work on a performance scale. You see while you preached, everyone slept, when he drove taxis, everyone prayed!"
Paleo Cookbook Brand new Paleo diet cookbook with over 370 recipes. List of safe and non-toxic foods. Even the intro will have valuable info. 395 pages, no special skills required. Printable eBook. Currently with these bonuses: plus 29 page herb and spice guide, plus 8 week meal planner Paleo Cookbook

The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Peters will be setting the pace on our morning run.' With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Peters was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Peters will be driving a truck."
Click trhough for the big picture. Road in the mountains of Jebel Hafeet, UAE
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 23 year old woman in Tacoma, Washington Finger flipper flips cars TACOMA, Wash. – A woman caused an accident SR 512 on Monday when she lost control of her vehicle as she was giving another driver “the bird,” the Washington State Patrol said. The 23-year-old woman, driving a 2004 Taurus, was traveling eastbound next to a Subaru Outback, the State Patrol said. She wanted to get over to the right lane, but it was occupied so she flipped off the driver of the Outback. As she was doing so she lost control of her vehicle and hit the back end of the Outback, causing it to run off the road and roll over. She ended up in a ditch further down the roadway. Three people were taken to the hospital with minor injuries. The woman faces charges including reckless driving.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rosalie Re: Sort OE blocked addresses Dea Webby: I am using Outlook Express; I get anywhere from 15-20 spam notices every day. I use 'Message' - block sender. I must have 100's in my block sender. Is there a way to alphabetize the list in SPAM? It takes me about 30 minutes to go thru the list as some of my 'legitimate email address are going into Spam and I need to take them out. This is a waste of time going thru that long list. Thanks for your help. Rosalie Dear Rosalie Blacklisting is a total waste of time. Spammers never fake the same sender address twice in a row, because of people blacklisting them. You need a much smarter weapon than that. I use MailWasher. It identifies spam, and allows you to make filters to eliminate spam right on the server, without even downloading it. It also allows you to make filters to exempt mail from certain addresses from all your tricky filters, so that a family member's joke about certain wrist adornments will make it through and not get tossed because it mentions a certain product. "Making a filter" is not rocket science. It's like a game and you'll catch on instantly. MailWasher also allows you to kill mail, that has your own address forged in as the sender, but allows mail through, that really IS from you. Yes, I know, a lot of people send memos to themselves and then archive those, rather than open a word processor or spreadsheet for whatever it is they want to have a permanent copy of. Because I have not changed my addresses since the mid 90's, I get between 4000 and 5000 pieces of spam every day. So, what? It does not bother me one bit, because I never see it. MailWasher takes care of it and I only see the mail, that I am actually going to answer. Now and then I look at the pretty graphs in Mailwasher and see which of my filters are catching the most these days, and occasionally I make a new filter, just to keep up with the newest trends in spamming. Have FUN! DearWebby
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You've all seen this from the female side of the house: "Men are like wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with." And now, for the male response: "Women are like wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."
Daily tip from Keep Free Weights in Wire Egg Basket To keep our free weights in one small space, my wife took her grandmother's old wire egg basket and embellished it with fabric. The weights appear to be out of sight, but are still in a handy place. We have the egg basket sitting under a small accent table. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A man approached a local in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to York?" The local scratched his head. "Are you walking or driving?" he asked the stranger. "I'm driving." "That's the quickest way!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, "What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?" Expecting to see "the D-Day invasion" as the answer, I found instead on one paper, "Moses and the plague of frogs."

» Lost heads

A man was golfing with a friend and went to the restroom. When he came out he sighed audibly and his friend said to him, "Feel better?" "Yeah," he said, "It's the only place on the whole course where nobody tells me how to improve my stance or change my grip!"

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