Careful if you have a Smartphone! 

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Today is Tuesday, September 20

From Alexa
another good substitute for a tripod is a wheat can 
make them as big or small as you want or need and you don't 
have to worry about using "food" inside them or the zip lock 
bag breaking.
If you make an extra cover for your wheat bag you can even 
wash it when the need arises. I make them and use them as 
tripod substitute and as hot and cold packs..way safer than hot 
water bottles in your bed or on your lap.
I just buy budget wheat from the pet food store to use and any 
old cotton material I have lying around

Yes, wheat will definitely work!

Have FUN!

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Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back into the same box. --- Italian Proverb A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. --- Bill Vaughan Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. --- Oscar Wilde
An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him. After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and he had just been lucky to get him in time. "But doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Dad hasn't walked in over six years!"
If you want to make some money on the side,
now you can use the GTR Money Machine

Angus has been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face again. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches the bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. 'So, you've been out drinking again!!' 'How did you know?' he asks. 'The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again.'
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Melissa Redmond, 29, of Mine Hill, N.J Extra Sugar Melissa Redmond, 29, of Mine Hill, N.J. was arrested and charged with prostitution after police say she took breaks to provide sex in exchange for money at a local Dunkin Donuts. "She was a night time employee (working 9 p.m. to 5 a.m.), supposedly a very good one," Detective Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann, who led the team of 16 investigators, said Police say the worker had a system of servicing men during her overnight shift at the restaurant. It took a SIX month investigation, surveillance involving various officers and a sting operation, but eventually they got her, arrested her and hauled her off in handcuffs. There was never any sex at Dunkin Donutes, but there may have been some in the parking lot or a short drive away from there. It took a lot of time and a lot of officers, but New Jersey's biggest criminal is not selling donuts any more! Night time sales of donuts have increased drastically since the news of the big bust.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dianne Re: Smartphone pictures pose security risk Smartphone pictures pose security risk Dianne Thanks Dianne! Smartphone users should watch that and adjust their settings accordingly! Have FUN! DearWebby
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During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signalled a car to pull over to the curb. When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him. "Does your dog have a license?" he asked. "Oh, no," the man said, "He doesn't need one. He's half blind so I always do the driving these days."
Daily tip from Peel Banana from the Bottom Up If you peel a banana from the bottom up instead of from the top down, you won't have those annoying stringy things from the peeling. By ashleybunkin from WV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
When I lived in a dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights. Dousing and bombarding one another with water from squirt guns, glasses, balloons, even wastebaskets. Since each room had a sink, there was endless ammunition. The most frequent target was the Resident Assistant. Approaching his room one afternoon, he noticed his door was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on the door's edge, ready to fall on him. As he took down the pail and emptied it into his sink, he thought, "Those crazy guys actually thought they could fool me with that old gag!" It was then he realized we'd loosened the drainpipe beneath the sink and turned the first "U" part so that it was aimed at his crotch.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Summer break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he had done. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota," he said. "That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said, "Can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny thought about it and said, "Come to think of it, we went to visit an aunt Ohio, O, H, I, O."

Lost in America

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