Colored backgrounds in email 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, September 22

Thanks to Verna for this picture:



It is amazing how wacky some people's ideas about Equinox are.
One nutty Flat-Earther even claimed that at Equinox both poles 
see the sun all day. He obviously has never been in the arctic 
or the antarctic, and has been smoking too much of the wrong 
kind of stuff.

Equinox literally means Equal Night. Ignore the sappy drivel
of the bozos, who are trying to tell you that is not so, and that
for the Flat-Earthers it has nothing to do with equal night, 
but where the sun is. 

Yeah, sure, the sun is up there. 
In the temperate zones around that time of year we have 
Equal Night and Day. That is why it has been called
Equi Nox for a few thousand years.
After Equinox the days are shorter than the night in the northern 
hemisphere, and longer than the night in the southern hemisphere.

I spent 30 years in the arctic. Up there, where you have no 
sun at all in midwinter and really appreciate every minute 
more sun, that you get in spring, and dread every minute less
that you get in fall, Equinox is quite important. 
Spring Equinox is a VERY cheerful party time. 

Fall Equinox is not cheerful at all in the arctic. It is time to 
get ready for the long and dark winter, get the firewood,
winter tires, check the tire chains, snow blower, etc.,
tilt the solar panels up, rig the water pump for winter, 
and so on.  And yearn for Spring Equinox.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. --- Mark Twain
Milkman Notes These notes left for milkmen came from the UK, so you'll notice a slight, endearing British ambience to them. "Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one." "Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk." "Cancel one pint after the day after today." "Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it" "Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk." "Milkman. please could I have a loaf but not bread today." "Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole." "Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks." "Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round." "When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress. "Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last nights Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea." "My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle." "Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me." "Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant." "Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it." "From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk." "My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight." "Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday." "When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk. "No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."
If you want to make some money on the side,
now you can use the GTR Money Machine

A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter. As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, "Why didn't you bring the piano, too?" "Are you trying to be funny?" she replied. "No, I really wish you had" he sighed. "I left the tickets on it."
Thanks to Guinn for this picture: Click through for the big picture.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Juan Aguirre, 21, Salina, Kansas Kansas is fighting back! History's Most Pathetic Burglary Of A Sex Shop Kansas used to be the Bonehead state of the US, but lately Florida has been dominating the stage. In a remarkably botched (and embarrassing) burglary, a Kansas man yesterday broke into a sex shop and stole six X-rated movies. Well, actually, Juan Aguirre is accused of pilfering six empty DVD cases. The 21-year-old apparently was unaware that the cases he pinched were for display, and devoid of the corresponding discs. According to the Salina Police Department, Aguirre early yesterday shattered the front door glass at Cirilla’s, causing $500 in damages. During a canvass of the area after the break-in, cops questioned Aguirre, who was spotted riding a bicycle in the vicinity of the sex shop. A search of the suspect’s backpack turned up the DVD cases and a sledgehammer head, that was attached to a rope. In a sad epilogue to the burglary, investigators valued the recovered five DVD cases at less than $5 apiece, according to a Salina Police Department report. Charged with burglary, criminal damage to property, and theft, Aguirre is being held in the Saline County jail in lieu of $6000 bond.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Helen Re: Colored background in email Dear Webby, Asking for your genius once again. Is there an easy way to create emails with a light colored background? Thanks! Helen Dear Helen With Outlook there is no easy way to do that. The default backgrounds are hard "fist on the eye" colors like you see with some spam. It's better if you work with background textures (outlook message window -> format -> background -> picture -> put your own) There are lots of sites on the web where you can get good backgrounds. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!

A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked. "I reckon so," replied the farmer. The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!" "Well, golly!" said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only comes up chest-high on my little ducklings there!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Quick Curtains With Sheets When I have a sheet that is too nice to use in dog kennels, I make it into a double sided small window curtain. If you have a smaller window in your home, garage, or office, this idea would be perfect since you don't need a large amount of material. By Sarah from MN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A young Jewish mother walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my bubaleh" she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your mother, tataleh! And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh. Your Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him. "So what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I learned my name is David."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight." The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. "Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once." "George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?" "Why, George! Your husband!....Isn't this 223-1374?" "No, this is 223-1375." "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number." There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?"

» Magdeburg Water Bridge







[ view entry ] ( 283 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 702 )

<<First <Back | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | Next> Last>>