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Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, September 23
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

You may have heard bits and pieces about the shopping bag war
between the glib Algorian profiteers and the conventional bag 

Because too many people did NOT fall for the BS, the reusable bag 
company known as ChicoBag did what any good environmental 
alarmist would do: they lied. 
When they got too far fetched with their lies, ChicoBag got sued 
and lost,  but not until after some towns in California had been 
"persuaded", (note, I did not quite say "bribed"), into forbidding 
the use of regular disposable shopping bags,
which have a 390 times smaller "Carbon Footprint" than the
dirt and bacteria hoarding and multiplying Chico Bags.

Subscriber Martin sent me a link to a site, that untangles
the Shopping bag mess 

Have FUN!

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Don't find fault, find a remedy. --- Henry Ford
A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor. "You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something." So the pastor went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir." "Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked. "Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing." That's nothing," the man snorted. "Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!"
If you want to make some money on the side,
now you can use the GTR Money Machine

Thanks to Anna for this one: My son, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" I said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, I thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Angela DeHart, 23 in Beaver, WV Woman Stole Hearse With Corpse In Back SEPTEMBER 21 The West Virginia woman, 23, is facing a pair of felony charges for stealing a hearse containing a body and driving home in it early yesterday. According to police, the hearse--parked outside the Ritchie and Johnson Funeral Home in Beckley--was swiped shortly after midnight on Tuesday. The driver, cops reported, had briefly left the hearse unattended--with its door open--while he entered the funeral home, presumably to get help with unloading the corpse. The driver, Kenneth Bly, “pulled into the parking lot…in order to unload a corpse” from the 1996 Cadillac Fleetwood hearse, according to a court affidavit. As Bly walked toward the funeral home’s entrance, he spotted DeHart, who “jumped into the vehicle.” Cops noted that, “Bly witnessed the defendant’s actions and yelled ‘Hey!’” DeHart, seen in the above mug shot, then “accelerated from the parking lot.” The hearse was recovered several hours later in the vicinity of DeHart’s home in the nearby borough of Beaver. A witness had called cops to report that a “very emotional” DeHart “had just pulled up to his residence…and that the defendant had been operating a black hearse.” The corpse, which had been laying inside a gurney in the hearse, “had been moved by some means and was laying on its side,” reported Detective Jamie Blume. The deceased was an 85-year-old woman. When officers confronted DeHart early yesterday at her home, she reportedly confessed to stealing the hearse. DeHart, who celebrated her birthday Monday, told investigators that she had engaged in a verbal argument with her wife/girlfriend and exited the vehicle in which they were traveling early Tuesday morning. As she began walking, DeHart said she “observed the hearse running next to the funeral parlor. She admitted that, after taking the car, she drove it to Beaver” and contacted a friend seeking advice as to what she should do with the stolen wheels. Charged with grand larceny and displacement of a dead body, both felonies, DeHart was booked into jail this afternoon. She is being held in lieu of $25,000 bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Scotty Re: ALT key does not work Dear Webby... I tried punchin on alt on my keyboard and nuthin' happened. As you can see, I am not a PC whiz Scotty Dear Scotty Try this: Hold down the ALT key, and without letting go, hit one of the keys, that are underlined in top or pull-down menus, for example F. For an easy example, to save a file as a new file do this: ALT (hold down, don't let go) F ( File ) let go of both ALT and F A (save As) type in the new file name ENTER That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Eric said his company sometimes abbreviates the shipping address of their customers to make them fit on the printed labels. However, the Assembly Of God Church aparently was not amused when the label on their box displayed, "Ass Of God Church".
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tent Plants in Plastic Wrap When On Vacation I have many houseplants and I have found an excellent way to keep them from drying out when we go on vacation. Water plants first, then tent smaller house plants with plastic wrap. I have several large potted plants that cannot be tented. I cover the base of the plant at dirt level with the plastic wrap. When I return from vacation, my plants are still happy and don't even need to be watered. This was a remarkable discovery for me. I no longer have to have someone come in during the week to water them. If you want to make sure my tip works, try it on one of your houseplants a few weeks before your vacation. By Jo from Riverside, RI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Myrtle was traveling North from Miami on I-95 when she spotted a hitchiker. He was pretty good-looking, so she decided she'd pick him up. They started the usual chit-chat, and she turned on the charm. Things were going well and she thought sure he'd ask her on a date soon, but then somehow he let it slip that he was a convict on the run. "What were you in prison for?" she asked. "I murdered my wife and children," he cooly responded. Without a moment's hesitation, she added hopefully, "oh, so you're single...?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains of Canada. The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and stood by the window admiring the scenery. Suddenly, he noticed a huge animal walk by. "Och, whut's thaaat?" he said. His Canadian friend looked out and said, "Oh, that's a moose." "Och! If thaaat's a moose, hoo big are yore cats aroond here?"

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