How long to learn HTML 

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Today is Tuesday, October 4

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If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years. --- Bertrand Russell Never have children, only grandchildren. --- Gore Vidal
A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification." He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary." "How come?" asked the woman. "Crooks don't buy peat moss," answered the clerk.
If you want to make some money on the side,
now you can use the GTR Money Machine

When the man came home, his wife was crying. "Your mother insulted me," she sobbed. "My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?" the man asked. "I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious." "And?" "At the end of the letter she had written: PS. Dear Sue, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son."
One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, his father said, "Oh, less than half of them." Click through for the big picture. For those, who asked for a picture o those falls from a bit farther back: Aboe the falls, where I took this picture, are a few, very nice cedar benches, with bronze plaques commemorating the people, in whose memory the benches were placed there. I always stop, and even if I don't sit on a bench, I mentally greet the person, whose name is on the plaque. Sunday I climbed on top and stood on the backrest of one of the benches, to get the angle for this particular picture. From the tree at the edge, much larger in yesterday's picture to the "beach" at the top edge of the falls, it's about 150 feet.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Meghan, 26 and Timothy, 19, Fleming in Salem, Oregon ID'd by Tattoo SALEM, Ore. - What happens when you give a homeless guy some money and then ask for it back? It gets you arrested - well at least it did in one woman's case. The whole situation went down Thursday outside a PetSmart store on Lancaster Drive N.E. in Salem. According to police, 26-year-old Meghan Fleming went shopping at the store and on her way out decided to give a few bucks to a homeless man who was outside. So far so good but police say Fleming changed her mind about handing over the cash after getting to her car. So she drove up to the man, pointed what looked like a handgun at him and demanded that he give the money back to her. A man in the car got involved as well and also demanded that the homeless guy hand his money over. The homeless man ended up giving her the money, which wasn't much (police say it was $5). He then walked into the PetSmart store and told workers there he had just been robbed. Those at the store were familiar with the woman the man said had robbed him and were able to give police her name. Fleming was arrested a short time later at her home. Police say she had her two 2-year-old twins in the car with her when the incident unfolded and they were turned over to relatives. "Meghan certainly could have asked for her money back, but that was not the case," Lt. Steve Birr with the Salem Police Department said in a news release. "She crossed the line when she pointed what looked like a firearm at him and demanded he hand over the money." The man who was in the car with Fleming - 19-year-old Timothy Fleming (her nephew) - later turned himself in to police in Turner. The 'gun' turned out to be a BB gun. Police say the victim was just out of prison and didn't want to press charges, but the District Attorney's office decided to pursue the case. Both Meghan Fleming and Timothy Fleming are charged with armed robbery and are now sitting at the Marion County Correctional Facility.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mia Re: How long to learn HTML Dear Webby how long does it normally take to learn HTML? Mia Dear Mia It takes half an hour to learn the basics from free tutorials, a month of using it to get comfortable with it, teaching it to others for half a year to get really good at it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there. You probably just put on a few pounds, Matt." "That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single pound since the last time I wore it." "Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of Furniture Disease." "What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked. "Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in life when your chest starts slidin' down into your drawers."
Daily tip from Use That Bucket of Soapy Water After you've hand-washed your vehicle, don't pour out the bucket of soapy water solution just yet-there's still a lot of cleaning power in those suds; pour it on dirty spots on your patio, carport/garage floor, picnic table, you-name-it! Scrub the dirty spots with a stiff broom, then rinse with clean water. Voila! You've gotten double duty from your bucket of detergent! By Becky Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The thunder god went for a ride, upon his favorite filly. "I'm Thor," he cried. The horse replied, "You forgot your thaddle, thilly."

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