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When they can't figure it out, they will just make up a 
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The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. The third marriage is the triumph of senility. --- Socratex
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Sure, mighty oyster wrestler. Try that twelve foot 'gator behind you!"
The Ultimate Guide To Pasword Recovery And Management Learn how to immediately recover passwords from most applications and website accounts, as well as Windows accounts. Also includes tips for effective account management to never again lose a single password. This is not a tool, that just works one, but solid knowledge in a book, that you keep. Get and keep the Ultimate Guide To Pasword Recovery And Management

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" "Henry had a nasty fall and broke both of his legs. He's a couple of miles back up the trail." "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!" "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kraig Stockard, 54, of Delhi, California Burglars turn victim in for child porn DELHI, Calif. (UPI) -- Authorities in California said a pair of admitted burglars were not arrested after turning in child pornography allegedly belonging to their victim. Deputy Tom McKenzie of the Merced County Sheriff's Department said a 19-year-old and a juvenile broke into a Delhi barn belonging to Kraig Stockard Sept. 12 and took 50 CD-Rs they believed to be blank, KTXL-TV, Sacramento, reported Thursday. However, when the burglars attempted to burn music onto the CD-Rs, they allegedly discovered more than 30 of them were filled with child pornography, the report said. "[A] family member convinced the two suspects to come forward; they contacted law enforcement," McKenzie said. He said Stockard had reported the burglary. "I'm kind of surprised that he wanted to draw attention to himself, knowing what was taken," the deputy said. Investigators seized three desktop computers and three laptops from Stockard's property. Deputies said he is believed to have been allegedly downloading child pornography since 2004. Stockard was arrested and charged with possession of child pornography. He was released after posting $25,000 bail. The burglars were not arrested. "We did not actually go out and arrest the suspects for the burglary. They were obviously the lesser of two evils," McKenzie said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dani Re: Wrong font color Hi Webby, For those who are unable to read the fonts due to dark on dark color, they can also highlite it and it will appear light in color. Dani Dear Dani Right, you can also use that trick of quickly wiping he mouse over the bottom left corner of a page, to see hidden counters and whatever else the webmaster may have hidden there. CTRL A selects (highlights) the entire page. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Thyanks to Brenda for this story: I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that. "Why?" "Because it's been laying outside and is dirty and probably has germs." At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh," I was thinking quickly, everyone knows this stuff, "Um, it's on the Mommy test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." "Oh." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "I get it!!!!" she beamed. "Then if you flunk, you have to be the Daddy."
Daily tip from Spray Bottle With Diluted Dish Soap To save on dish soap, fill a spray bottle one-quarter full of soap and top it off with water, give the mixture a good shake to mix well, and close the bottle. Spraying this on dishes cuts grease and saves a little money. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO I have used that trick with industrial citrus based cleaner for many years. The same spray also works great on soft and shiny vinyl floors. I spray the section in front of me with one hand and swing a string mop dampened with hot water with the other hand as I back up. After using that method since I got the current flooring ten year ago, it is as shiny as on day one. By the way, I use the same type of spray bottle, but painted yellow, and filled with a thin olive oil, instead of the outrageously overpriced cooking spray. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; while his hobby was golf. The other night, during a deep sleep, the man yelled, 'Fore!' His wife, also in a deep sleep and not missing a beat, yelled back, 'Four Fifty!'
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No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," my mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move when he's not on it."

Visions of Earth

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