Soft versus hard date in spreadsheets 

Zoom the font size for best readability  

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 17

Mowed for the last time for this year. When I went outside
in the morning, it seemed comfortable enough in the sun shine
at the back door, and I figured I would warm up from the 
exercise anyway.

So I went out in shorts and short sleeve shirt.
After a while I figured, that if I wasn't so tough, I would
probably put on some gloves. And thought that was funny.

Then a neighbor walked by, dressed in long coat and warm
cap. She is in her eighties and I figured more sensitive to
the temperature. She stopped and ranted at me, that I was 
going to catch a cold, so I told her, with hot babes like her
strutting by, it was plenty warm enough.

She didn't know whether to hit me with her cane or yell
at me, but she had a friendly grin on as she continued down
the sidewalk.

When I finished mowing and came in, I saw that it was 
three degrees above freezing outside. No wonder my fingers
had been cold and yearning for gloves!

Well, no more mowing this year. I just hope we don't get a
lot of snow. I am not supposed to do any shoveling. 

Have FUN!

If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!

Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover, that there are other views. --- William F Buckley Jr.
From Bob: About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air, and the crew began serving drinks, I could hear them pleading with the children to settle down and let the other passengers get some sleep. No amount of reasoning seemed to help, until I thought of the solution that actually worked. I picked up the PA mike in the cockpit and announced, "Children, this is the captain speaking. Don't make me stop this airplane and come back there!"
If you have an iPad and wonder, how you can use more than 1% of it's capabilities, then you need this book!

From Marv: Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain. I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted. To her delight, we rode it twice. The next year we returned to the Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain. As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride's speed. "Dad," she said, "I don't think I want to go." I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time. She replied, "This year, I can read."
Thanks to Cookie for this picture: Click through for the big picture.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD There has not been any feedback or comments about the International Bonehead Awards for a long time. I wonder if anybody notices if they are missing?
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rita Re: soft versus hard date in spradsheet Dear Webby, my husband is using a spreadsheet as a daily log. I'm not complaining, it's a great improvement over a loose pile of cigarette packages with semi-legible scribbles. The problem is that he used a formula that puts in the current date. @(today). Every midnight each date changes to the current date. I realize, all the past dates are lost. How can I rig it so that new dates put in stay nailed down to THAT date ? Thanks Rita Dear Rita In Quattro, tell him to use CTRL D instead. That just puts the date number into the field. If that column is formatted for displaying the date, it will show as the date, but the value in the cell is a number, not a formula, and it won't change. In Excel it is similar, but not as easy to remember. Instead of D for Date, Excel uses the semi-colon ; CTRL ; inserts a static date that does not change. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!

Some racehorses are standing in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 16 races, I've won 8 of them!" Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 20!!" "Oh that's good, but in the last 37 races, I've won 29!" says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 91 races, I've won 89 of them!" The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog!"
Daily tip from Keeping Ice off the Car Winter in Alaska where we live can be so harsh! No matter where you live, though, scraping ice off of your car in the early morning is just no one's idea of fun. This is the BEST WAY to keep your windshield frost free. Wipe the windows and windshield of your vehicle down with white vinegar, undiluted, after you park your car for the night. This will prevent frost from building on your car, and who doesn't LOVE that? By AlaskanAurora from Dutch Harbor, AK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
Bill and Mary were married for 50 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and planned a second wedding. They were discussing the details with their friends. Mary wasn't going to wear a traditional bridal gown and she started describing the dress she was planning to wear. One of her friends asked what colour shoes she had to go with the dress. Mary replied, "Silver." At that point, Bill chimed in, "Yep silver - to match her hair." Shooting a glaring look at Bill's bald spot, Mary's friend sweetly said, "So Bill, I guess you are going barefoot."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill your order! When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant nuts on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all hell breaks loose! The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen. He runs up to the customer's table, slaps five $100 bills down on it and says, "You got me this time buddy, but I want you to know that's the first time in ten years we've been out of rye bread!"

Little Lilies

[ view entry ] ( 194 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 450 )

<<First <Back | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | Next> Last>>