Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, November 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby



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please donate what you can!





"It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can   
keep the earth after they inherit it." 
--- Kin Hubbard   

"Has it ever occurred to you that there might be a difference   
between having an open mind and having holes in one's head?"   
--- Richard Schultz 



A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art
exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary
painting caught her eye.

"What on earth," she inquired of the artist standing nearby, "is that?"

He smiled condescendingly. "That, my dear lady, is supposed 
to be a mother and her child."

"Well then," snapped the little old lady, "why isn't it?"



H Miracle: Nature's Method to CURE Hemorrhoids.
Yes, CURE, not just suppress the symptoms, but cure
them for good. Use the H Miracle and end that nuisance.




The cowboy walked into the tack shop. "How much for a pair   
of spurs?" he asked the sales clerk.   

"Forty dollars."   

The cowboy looked in his wallet, thought for a moment, then   
pulled out a twenty. "I'll take one spur."   

"What'll you do with just one?" the clerk asked.   

The cowboy replied, "I figger if I can get one side of the   
horse movin', the other side'll go too."   



Thanks to Ralph for this picture:


Click through for the large version.
We were with an Airstream group that camped on site for 3 days.  
Being the wind drove the schedule more than the clock we often 
saw various events before & after the park  was open to the 
general public.  It was a wonderful display, I have hundreds of 
pictures, it is hard to pick favourites. "The bees" balloons are a 
set of three and they try to launch simultaneously.  The Cow balloon 
took a team of about 10 to get it inflated and airborne.  Just amazing.
Ralph

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD

to

Ryan McKenzie, 45, in Broward, FL on stretcher
police "boat" in the background

Man jumps into New River in failed bid to flee authorities

The New River once again Wednesday proved a near-deadly 
draw for a desperate defendant.

Ryan McKenzie, 45, who was in a crowded courtroom for a 
hearing on previous drug charges, overheard a Border Patrol 
agent asking about him.

Not in custody, the Hollywood man slipped from the room, dashed 
out of the courthouse and jumped into the New River in an attempt 
to escape.

The move nearly cost him his life. He "appeared in distress and 
possibly was going to drown," Fort Lauderdale police spokesman 
Detective Travis Mandell said.

"He was able to swim across the river, but then couldn't get out 
and was showing signs of distress," Mandell said.

Police boats and Broward sheriff's deputies arrived. Police 
officer Rick Rhodes jumped in the water and attached ropes
on McKenzie, to winch him onto one of the boats and to safety. 
He was taken to the hospital for evaluation and is expected 
to be released into the custody of the Border Patrol.

"He's lucky it ended up the way it did," BSO spokeswoman 
Dani Moschella said.

It wasn't the first time the New River, which flows behind the 
downtown courthouse, has beckoned criminal defendants with the 
promise of an easy escape. Most of them drowned.



Tech Support Pits:
From Rosa
Re: Search engine Optimizing

Dear Webby
My dad's consultant told me that all these Search Engine
Optimizers are just con artists who can't make a living with
their own web sites, so they are spamming and trying to 
con money out of people who make money on the web.
However, some of those SEOs sound very convincing.
I notice that your Mypostcards.com has been at the top
of Google for many years and you don't buy ad words and
you don't even use meta tags.
What's the real scoop?
Rosa

Dear Rosa
Your dad's consultant is very wise.
You have to understand that the search engines are not in
business to please a bunch of tricksters, but to deliver the
content that people are looking for. When you are looking
for flower seeds, you want to be shown companies that sell
flower seeds, not a bunch of flakey casinos or dating sites.
Becaue the search engines are trying hard to deliver the 
searched for content, they work very hard to defeat the 
tricksters and keep changing the rules to stay ahead of
cheaters.

People who spend big money on ad words will often
temporarily rise to the top, but usually just very briefly.
Don't worry about them. Just focus on having the content
that you promise, and you'll stick around near the top.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2

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Two ladies were on their daily exercise stroll.
They were talking about how hard it is to lose weight as 
one gets older.One of the woman complained that she 
remained in a 'pear-shape' no matter what she did, and 
the other said that no matter how much she exercised, 
there was too much poundage on her backside and 
thighs. It almost seemed like it was there to stay. 

Her buddy agreed, saying, "It's true. 
It eve says so i the bible!
The lard works in mysterious ways."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Preventing Wax Residue in Candle Holders
I used to have the kindest neighbor who I would visit often. 
She always had everything decorated so nicely, and she 
always had candles burning. She told me that she put a 
little bit of water in the bottom of the glass votive before 
putting her candle in to prevent the wax from sticking to 
glass votive and she was right!

Source: My older kind neighbor
By Beth from Fairfield, PA
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



A father from Europe is visiting his son in America for the   
very first time. They are at the local supermarket going up   
and down the aisles.   

Dad: "Vas diss, powdered orange juice?"   

Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add water, and you have fresh   
orange juice!"   

A few minutes later, in a different aisle the father says:   
"Und vas dis, powdered milk?"   

Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add water, and you have fresh milk!"   

A few minutes later, in a different aisle the father says:   
"Und give look here. Baby Powder! Vat a country! Dey take da   
fun outta everyting!"   



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


How come when you mix water and flour together, 
you get glue...
and then you add eggs and sugar... and you get cake?

Where did the glue go?
 
NEED AN ANSWER?
You know darned well where it went!
The glue is what makes the cake... 
stick to your hips!





 
» A murderation of starlings 

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