I wouldn't say he's stupid, but..

- He's depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- He puts a bucket under the pipe when there's a gas leak.

- He has an intellect that is rivaled only by eggplants.

- We have to make introductions around the breakfast table every morning.

- He stayed up all last night studying for his blood test.

- He sure makes my dog look smart!

- He studied all weekend for a urine test.

- He can't convert 0 feet to meters.

- He was supposed to try out for a part in 'Dumb and Dumber' but forgot to show up.

- He still checks the inside of his hands to see if "it" really will cause hair to grow!!

- When my parents said they'd send him abroad, he asked how old she was.

- But he had a battle of wits with a doorknob and lost.

- He got drunk, walked into the wall four times and said "Shit, I'm bricked in!"

- He stole a free cookie!

- He couldn't count his testicles and come up with the same number twice!

- It takes him an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes".

- After joining the I.R.A. and being told to blow up a bus, he burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe.

- He saw a sign that said "wet floor"... so he did.

- When his mum said to take butter out from the fridge, he took the butter outdoors!

- I've seen bread dough with more intelligence.

- When they tested his I.Q., the score began with Minus.

- When they were handing out brains, he couldn't even find the line.

- But if you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back.

- He thinks a woman with crabs is a seafood delicacy.

- If he had one more IQ he'd be a potted plant.

- He had just learned to count to 21 when he got arrested for indecent exposure.

- Last night, when I turned of the lights he wrote a letter to God, asking him why he didn't pay his electric bill.

- He couldn't empty water from a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

- He's trying to teach "sit up & beg" to his pet rock.

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