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Today is Friday, December 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Have FUN!

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In the republic of mediocrity, genius is dangerous. --- Robert G. Ingersoll
Two women are paired together as partners in a club tournament and meet on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer asks, "What's your handicap?" "Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replies. "Really," says the first woman, suitably impressed and thinking they might have a shot at the championship. "Yes," says her partner, "I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones.
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Angus McInnes is dying. On his deathbed, he looks up and says: "Is my wife here?" "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you," his wife replies. "Are my children here?" he asks. "Yes, daddy, we are all here?" "And my other relatives? Are they also here?" "Yes, we are all here," says one. "Then why is the light on in the kitchen?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Richard Robinson, DeKalb, GA Shooting Mistletoe at the mall DECATUR, Ga. -- In the twinkling, pine-scented pantheon of Christmas decorating, mistletoe occupies a special place. But in the wild, mistletoe is a parasitic plant that creates a leafy ball in the tops of trees. For centuries, the challenge has been how to get the mistletoe out of the tree most efficiently. "I've gathered it before," said 11Alive photographer Richard Crabbe, a man with roots in rural Georgia. "The traditional southern way-- with a gun!" "Tradition has it that you would shoot it out of a tree with a gun," said Shannon Wurst, who sells mistletoe at Big John's in Buckhead. "At least that's what my grandparents always used to do." To Wurst and to Crabbe, the harvesting of treetop mistletoe by shotgun makes perfect sense. "A shotgun is the quickest and most efficient way," said Crabbe. "Unless you want to climb the tree and pick it." That's the logic Richard Robinson apparently applied Sunday, when he was spotted with a shotgun near North DeKalb Mall. "Robinson was firing into the trees in an attempt to get mistletoe out," said DeKalb police spokeswoman Mekka Parish. "To decorate his home for Christmas." Police arrested Robinson on charges of illegally discharging a weapon and reckless conduct. The police report says "He said he does this every year, but never in the mall parking lot. The suspect was surprised he was getting arrested." Christmas is a holiday that thrives on tradition. William Robinson's tale is one of a holiday tradition gone slightly awry. "The mall? Not the best place to go shoot mistletoe out of the trees," said Crabbe.
Tech Support Pits: From: Marion Re: Missing Address Bar Dear Webby, PLEASE,HELP ME GET MY ADDRESS BAR BACK AT THE TOP OF PAGE.I HAVE A PLACE TO SEACH BUT I WANT A ADDRESS BAR. MARION Dear Marion First, make sure your address bar is turned on: VIEW TOOLBARS Address bar then have a look to the right side of the browser top. You will see a | like a sliding door handle. Pull that to the left. Your address bar is behind that sliding door. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A couple are asleep in their bed late one night, when the wife thinks she hears a noise downstairs. She nudges her husband and whispers, "Wake up, wake up!" "What's the matter?" he asks. "There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the broccoli casserole I made tonight." "That'll teach them!" says the husband.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com "Swap Not Shop" Event for Christmas Swapping is better than Shopping! Instead of trying to work out how much you can get away with spending this Christmas, why not get friends, neighbors, and family organized and hold a pre-Christmas "Swap not Shop" event. It is fun, will help clear clutter from you house, and most importantly, can save some serious cash! http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A passenger jet is taxiing down the runway when it stops abruptly, turns around and returns to the gate. After an hour-long wait, the plane finally pulls out again, rolls down the runway and takes off. A concerned passenger asks the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," the attendant explains, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot." --------------- No kidding, but something similar happened to me on Sept 14, 2001, the first day the planes flew again after 9/11. After the plane was loaded and everybody was seated with their seatbelts on, Air Canada found out that the pilot had chickened out and deserted. We sat there in the plane at the gate for over two hours until they found a pilot, who was willing to fly.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A couple is in a Lamaze class, and during one session the husband is given a bag of sand to wear around his middle to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. After cinching it around his waist, he stands up and says, "This doesn't feel so bad." In response, the instructor drops a pen and asks the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asks. "Exactly," the instructor says. The man turns to his wife and says, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."

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