Create a 12 labels per page template with Open Office 

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Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, December 11

At times like this I really regret, that I did not choose a 
career as a street sweeper. Aside from a steady income,
I would have a lot of spare time for crafts and to create
Christmas presents. 
Next life!

Have FUN!

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When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. --- Eric Hoffer The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. --- Paula Poundstone
Budget conscious parents will tell you that it is a traditional, nutritious, lovingly prepared hot cereal breakfast dish. Kids will tell you that the name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."
GuiltFREE! 50 EASY Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts, includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Includes TWO bonus books: Awesome Appetizers and Better Breads Enjoy a GuiltFREE! Christmas!

An artist asks the gallery owner if there has been any interest in his paintings that are on display. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replies. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."
Thanks to Guinn for his December orchid: Click through for the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Nekiva Vonte Hardy, 30 in Montgomery, Alabama Burger King brawler lied to cops The Alabama woman who recently busted up a Florida Burger King gave cops a fake name, address, and date of birth following her arrest for the melee, a video of which became the latest fast food outburst to go viral via YouTube. The perp told Panama City Beach cops that her name was Kimesa Smith. She gave her age as 23 and said she lived at 2627 Westgate Street in Montgomery, Alabama. In fact, The Smoking Gun has discovered, the suspect’s actual name is Nekiva Vonte Hardy. She is 30 and lives with her children at 2627 Lark Drive in Montgomery. Her rap sheet includes arrests for cocaine possession, criminal mischief, and hindering prosecution. Hardy, pictured in the above mug shots, is seen at left in the photo taken after the Burger King collar, and at right in the shot snapped following her November 2006 cocaine bust. Hardy gave Florida cops the name of an acquaintance from Montgomery. In an interview, the real Kimesa Smith told TSG that she was “shocked” to see her name attached to the Burger King incident. Smith, 28, recently completed a two-year prison term (for burglary and theft of property), and is not allowed out of state without her probation officer’s permission. Smith--who said that she used to have her hair done by Hardy at the Lark Drive residence--could not explain why Hardy would have appropriated her name. Both women attended the same Montgomery high school Hardy also copped to lying to police (and TSG) when she claimed that she had traveled to Florida with three of her four children. If cops thought she had to care for her young children, Hardy surmised, they would be less likely to keep her in custody. On Friday, Florida prosecutors filed formal charges against “Smith,” who had jumped bail and returned to Alabama after the Burger king arrest, accusing her of felony criminal mischief, two counts of misdemeanor battery, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest (she initially was charged with only simple battery, a misdemeanor). Hardy will likely face an additional charge (or charges) for the Smith masquerade. Asked if she expected to travel to Florida and surrender on the five counts, Hardy replied, “Fuck them, they’ll have to come and get me.” She added, however, “It’s gonna be hard to find me.” The cops are not worried. She will undoubtedly run afoul of the law again.
Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Making 12 labels per page on Open Office Dear Webby I have downloaded Open Office (again) but can't find a way to do what I need. I am trying to make one small 13 line label and then copy and paste it so I end up with 12 to a 8 x 11 page for easy cutting and using. For my purposes they have to be that small. I cannot for the life of me figure out a way to do it. Periodicaly I also have to change the first line to a different product but the body remains the same. Thanks again for any help you can give me..(again) Ann Dear Ann In Open Office WRITE click on FILE NEW Labels Select an Avery label number, like for example J8164 (3 x 4 labels per page) and hit New Document on that little window. It will generate a page template with 12 labels, three side by side, and 4 rows of them, just like you would print onto the J8164 Avery peel-and-stick label sheets. You can, of course, select any of the countless different label styles. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
Daily tip from Old Credit Cards for Cleaning I use an old credit card to clean the algae off of the front of the aquarium. I took a watercolor class where the instructor used an old credit card like a squeegee to move paint around. By wasshrunk from Redlands, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say the blessing when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that I have asked for a blessing on all this stuff before."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
According to statistics, last year over 22 million American families paid a lot of money for things that looked funny and didn't work. Seven million of these were antiques; the rest were their kids.
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