Tattooed bankrobber 

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Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, January 5, 2012

It's good to be home again!
Arrived late, and got warned already on the plane about road 
closures due to cars and trucks overturned by high winds.
Traffic was slow on the highway, but never completely stuck.

Have FUN!

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I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. --- Victor Hugo The shortest distance between two points is under construction. --- Noelie Altito
An office reports that they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell any difficult words. Early one Monday when the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages, she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then confidently offer, "My difficult word is reconciliation. R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N."
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After Jane's son fell into the pond yet again and came home with his good school clothes dripping wet, the exasperated Jane sent him to his room and washed and dried his clothes. A little later, Jane heard a commotion in the back yard. She called out "Are you out there wetting your pants again!?" There was dead silence for a moment. Then a deep, masculine voice answered meekly, "No, ma'am, I'm just reading the meter."
A friend, driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn't have a CB radio or cell phone in his car, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance. A Coast Guard officer responded, "Please give your location." "I'm on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish." The officer paused, "Could you repeat that?" "I-75, two miles south of Standish." A longer pause. Then an incredulous voice asked, "How fast were you going when you hit the shore?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Brandon Stancliff, 25, in Yorkville, Ill Tattooed Robber Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver, for sending thins one in: A Yorkville man with a distinctive “Mamma’s Boy” tattoo on his face has been charged with robbing an Island Lake bank on Dec. 29. Brandon Stancliff, 25, of 1100 block of Cornell Lane, and Lauri Ruble, 30, 100 block of Oakwood Drive, Antioch, were both charged with armed robbery, according police in Island Lake, a small city near McHenry. According to police, Stancliff and Ruble worked together to rob the Wauconda Community Bank at 229 W. Route 179, in Lake County. Ruble entered the bank alone around 12:30 p.m. and asked if she could exchange coins for dollar bills, police said. She then left the bank, allegedly to get the coins from her car, police said. Ruble and Stancliff left the bank parking lot together in a car and parked nearby. Police said Stancliff then went into the bank demanding money and threatening bank employees with a knife. After receiving some money, Stancliff ran out of the bank and fled, police said. He and Ruble were arrested the next day after pictures of Ruble were sent to local police agencies. In addition to the Lake County charges, Stancliff is also charged with possession of drugs and a stolen vehicle in Kane County. He is charged with stealing the car that was used in the robbery, police said. He was being held in the Kane County jail Tuesday, but is expected to be transferred to Lake County.
Tech Support Pits: From: Beth Re: Hydroxinol Dear Webby, A few years ago you had a link to some articles about the deadly hydroxinol. My mom believes every scary hoax she comes across and is getting quite paranoid. I need that article to get her to lighten up a bit. Thanks Beth Dear Beth I keep those links handy, because a lot of people are in need of them. There is even a petition against the deadly hydroxinol! Have FUN! DearWebby
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A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Daily tip from Save Dog Fluff for the Birds At this time of year, your dog will be starting to shed its winter coat. Save all the 'fluff' and hair you remove and put it in hedges or wherever is handiest. The birds love it for lining their nests! Alternatively, if you have lots, stuff it into one of these fatty ball containers and hang it by your bird table. Source: We've always done this, although the idea of using a container came from a bird seed catalog. By Skinnyjinny from Scotland Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their bottoms.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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She married him because he was such a "strong man." She divorced him because he was such a "dominating male." He married her because she was so "fragile and petite." He divorced her because she was so "weak and helpless." He married her because "she reminds me of my mother." He divorced her because "she's getting more like her mother every day." She married him because he was "happy and romantic." She divorced him because he was "shiftless and fun-loving." He married her because she was "steady and sensible." He divorced her because she was "boring and dull." She married him because he was "the life of the party." She divorced him because "he never wants to come home from a party." She married him because "he knows how to provide a good living." She divorced him because "all he thinks about is business."
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