Mix and Match monitors 

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Today is Tuesday, January 10

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Did you ever see the customers in health-food store? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific! --- Bill Cosby
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck, and her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he should risk punishment, so he said nothing. The dinner went well, and, as usual, the beans were one of the favorite dishes. The next day, the church secretary, Mary, called Little Johnny's mother and said, "Jane, your beans were delicious as usual, but what did you put in them this time?" Jane replied, "Nothing new, why do you ask?" "Well," said Mary, "this morning I bent over to feed the cat , and shot the canary."
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Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from time to time. One day he walked into Miss Sandy Smith's 4th grade class, where the children were studying American History. Mr. Jones asked the class how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. Miss Sandy Smith came up with four more. Not impressed, Mr Jones told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. From the back of the room Little Johnny yelled, "Yeah, but in those days there were only 13!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Anquin St. Junious, 32, in LaCrosse, WI Injured inmate caught doing pushups Anquin St. Junious wanted sympathy from a judge Thursday. Instead, he left the courtroom humiliated. He’s the 32-year-old La Crosse man accused of stabbing a downtown tavern bartender Dec. 21 before he suffered a beating that sent him to the hospital. Police say 24-year-old Schlafer, the bar tender, broke up a fight between a group of men inside John's Bar and kicked everyone outside. St. Junious tried to get back into the bar. When Schlafer confronted him, St. Junious stabbed Schlafer in the lower abdomen, and got the crap beaten out of him by the stabbed bartender. The bartender returned to work after a visit to Gundersen Lutheran hospital. St. Junious sat motionless in a wheelchair Thursday as his attorney tried to convince a judge he needed to be released from jail because of a dire medical condition. Since the assault, St. Junious can’t move his arms, can’t walk for more than 15 seconds and has a hole in his throat that is susceptible to infection if he remains in custody, his attorney said. He even requires a special lightweight spoon to feed himself. The problem with that story? Jail staff has St. Junious on surveillance video doing pushups in his cell. Circuit Judge Scott Horne determined St. Junious had exaggerated if not “willfully falsified” his condition. The judge doubled St. Junious’ bond to $50,000 cash. And his luck won’t improve today. Prosecutors are expected to file multiple charges against St. Junious in connection with the stabbing.
Tech Support Pits: From: Marcy Re: Mix and Match Monitors Dear Webby, About three years ago you persuaded me to buy a Lenovo big refurb 1600 x 1200 flat screen monitor for $150. It still works fine on the old desktop, but I was wondering, if I can use it as a second monitor on the laptop. Yes, the laptop has a sawed off screen made for facebook and not much else. Even sorting out the email is a nuisance with it. Would the lenovo work as a second monitor? By the way, the laptop unfortunately has W7. Marcy Dear Marcy That depends on the laptop. With some it works, with others it doesn't. If you see a socket to plug the cable from the monitor in, plug it in, while the laptop is shut off. You will have to mess with the screen resolution and go into Advanced, and play around in there. Chances are good, that with some messing around it will see and recognize the Lenovo, and let you set it as the primary monitor. With W7 that does not mean everything is shifted to the primary monitor, just the task bar and your desktop icons are. When you click on an icon on the task bar or on the desktop, the application will most likely open on the sawed off laptop screen. That is a bit disconcerting, but you can easily drag it over onto the high resolution monitor. You will have 1280 x 780 or something like that on the laptop and 1600 x 1200 on the lenovo monitor, and everything will change as you drag it across. Text will become smaller, but with the higher resolution, it will be smoother and sharper. You can have different programs open on the different monitors and copy/paste back and forth, since they ARE on the same computer. After a few days or a week you'll get the hang of it and appreciate to have that short laptop screen on the side as a memo pad or extension. Chances are good, that if you have a socket for a monitor cable, this will work. Have FUN! DearWebby
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It's YOUR choice: "Welcome to heaven, here's your harp and your tuning key." or "Welcome to hell, here's your harp."
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The doctor has just finished giving the young man a thorough physical examination. "The best thing for you to do," the M.D. said, "is give up drinking and smoking, get to bed early and stay away from women." "Doc, I don't deserve the best," said the patient. "What's second best?"
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Mother: "How's your history paper coming?" Son: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research and it's been very helpful. Mother: "Really?" Son: "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell them!"
» Shutter Salt
The Navy Captain looked the crew over and said, "Men before anything more is said, I would like to clear up one thing. This isn't MY ship, this is YOUR ship." From deep in the ranks came a voice: "Great! Hey guys, let's sell the silly old boat and have a PARTY!"

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