Link Exchanges 

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Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, January 21

Thanks, William!

Have FUN!

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A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts. --- Colette What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure. --- Samuel Johnson The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were. --- David Brinkley You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. --- Henry Ford Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. --- Niels Bohr
A perfectionist teacher demands the very best of all of her pupils. So it is only to be expected that she would get furious when one little fellow hands in a sloppily done homework paper. "This is the worst essay it has been my misfortune to read," the woman says through clenched teeth. "It has so many mistakes. I can't understand how one person could have made all these mistakes." "It wasn't just one person," the boy replies defensively. "My mom helped me."
Brew Beer at Home! Brew Beer Bible - The Ultimate Beer Brewing Guide Idiot proof step-by-step home brewing guide shows you how to make beer totally from scratch at home, even if you have absolutely no experience in brewing. Money back guarantee! Brew Beer for pennies! Trade it to friends for gas, meat, veggies, baking, cleaning, whatever! A glass of beer a day is good for you!

>From Susan: My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds that she had put on recently. "Good," I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too! We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I get the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great," she replied. "I'll ride with you."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Meet Savannah “Bambam” Rios, 24, Salt lake City, Utah Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker The Utah woman, 24, is facing several felony charges: kidnapping, robbery, sexual abuse, etc., after a bizarre attack last week on a man she recently dated. Rios, pictured in the mug shot at right, allegedly confronted the man last Wednesday after he accused her of swiping some of his belongings. The victim told police that he went to meet with Rios at a Salt Lake City residence, where he “was lead to a back backroom” where she was seated on the bed. The male victim, identified only by the initials “G.A.”, said that Rios slapped him several times, pulled out a knife, and asked him, “You wanna die?” That’s when things got weird. According to a probable cause affidavit, Rios ordered “G.A.” to remove his clothes. After he complied, Rios grabbed the man’s belt and “wrapped it around her hand, and hit him several times in the ‘balls.’” After pleading for his life, the man told cops, Rios allowed him to get dressed. She then directed him to drive to his home, where she allegedly forced him to give her a DVD player, camera, and phones. On the way to the residence, Rios stabbed at “G.A” with the knife, police charged. While at the man’s home, Rios “observed a bank statement… and ordered him to the bank.” The victim, who withdrew $500 from his account, told her he had to go inside the bank and subsequently escaped and “ran for help at a nearby police station.” Rios, who was still in the vehicle when cops arrived, was arrested at the scene and booked into the Salt Lake County Jail. She remains locked up in lieu of $100,000 bail.
Tech Support Pits: From: Sylvie Re: Link Exchange Dear Webby, I keep getting mail from people wanting me to exchange links with them. They promise that it would include traffic to my site. Is there any truth to that? Sylvie Dear Sylvie Quite the opposite. If the search engines catch you linking to those spammers, then they penalize you and dump your hard earned ranking. Forget the rethoric and BS of the self styled Search Engine Optimizers. 99.99% of them are clueless con artists. The search engines spend very serious money to be relevant, to show what people are looking for, instead of showing some irrelevant garbage promoted by search engine "experts" trying to sneak around the rules. Just make sure your content is relevant and matches your site title, and you'll soon rank high in the search engines. Have FUN! DearWebby
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An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy addressed his wife with endearing terms-calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married over 50 years, and they appeared still very clearly in love. While the wife was off in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that, after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those loving pet names." The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth, he said. "I forgot her name about ten years ago."
Daily tip from Sponge Eyeshadow Applicator for Cleaning Keyboard I have found the best item for cleaning around keys on the computer. A clean, sponge eyeshadow applicator. I always have extras of these (I use brushes instead). I like them because they hold up much better than Q tips, and they can get into the little crevices. I dampen mine a tad and boy it really gets the crud up! When you are done, you can almost roll the fuzzies off of the applicator and it can be reused. By Joynchocolate Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it." "You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat." The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run for the bridge. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner. "No," says the tourist, "but I was wondering if you have any bronze politicians!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An Irishman went to London for a visit to the circus. While there, he saw a man with an elephant act. The man claimed the elephant could look at a person and tell that person's age. The Irishman was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain terms. The man had the elephant look at a small boy and the elephant stamped its foot 9 times. "Is that right?" he asked the boy. "Yes, I'm nine!" the boy said. The Irishman continued his loud heckling, still not believing that this was true. The man asked the elephant to tell the ages of several other people, and each time the elephant stamped his foot and the people said he was correct. The Irishman got even louder and more abusive toward the man. Finally the man could take it no longer and wagered the Irishman that the elephant could look at him and tell him his age. The Irishman took him up on the wager. The elephant looked real close at the Irishman, turned around, raised his tail and cut wind like you wouldn't believe. Then he turned back around, knocked the Irishman to the ground with his trunk and then stomped on him twice. The Irishman, crumpled and bleeding, staggered back to his feet and with a sound of disbelief in his voice cried, "Lard, Thunder and Murphy, he's right!...Farty-two!"
» Harbin Ice 2012
That joke reminds me of this one: Mrs. O'Malley arrived in Boston from Ireland, and in no time at all her bean soup made her the talk of New England society. At a party celebrating the sale of her recipe to a fancy Charles Street restaurant, an old matron approached Mrs. O'Malley and said, "My dear girl, what is the secret of your soup?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "The secret o' me soup is that I use but two-hundred thirty-nine beans to make it." The woman said, "Why only two-hundred thirty-nine?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "Because one more would make it too farty."

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