Capable email program 

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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, February 9

Today the temperatrue was the opposite. Icy cold down in 
the valley, quite pleasant up on the high prairie, especially
in the sunshine. So I added an extra half mile.

Have FUN!

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Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy. --- Isaac Newton What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do. --- Aristotle
Nancy got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got lost in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart"
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Thanks to Darla for this one: OPPORTUNITY ! Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here's an incredibly simple way to do it and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! TRY it now! Follow this simple procedure: 1. Open a new text or word document 2. Hold down the shift key. 3. Hit the 4 key four times really fast.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Matthew Keith, 21, from Bridgewater, Massachusets Cape Coral trolley mooning brings arrest A ride-by trolley mooning led to a fight and the arrest of an apparently intoxicated Massachusetts man over the weekend in Cape Coral. Matthew Keith, 21, from Bridgewater, was charged with disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer on Saturday night. According to two Cape Coral men, they were attending the martini competition downtown when Keith and his brother, who is listed as a juvenile, pulled down their pants and displayed their butts while riding the trolley, according to a Cape police report. The two victims told police they then “approached the two males about cleaning up their actions.” After some words were exchanged, the two men said the Keith brothers then hit them in their faces. They declined to press charges but police caught up with the Keiths soon after. According the police, while interviewing Matthew, who had trouble standing, he continued to yell profanities at passersby and tried to taunt them in order to provoke a fight. He was then arrested and had to be hobbled while being transported to the Lee County Jail. ------------ The Cape Coral Trolley is not high speed public transit. It is a quaint, historical affair, locked in secure storage during hurricane season and during the hot summer time. It is mainly used for parades and special events, and for short haul transit between parking areas and conventions and events.
Tech Support Pits: From: Kyle Re: Capable Emailer Dear Webby, When I preview mail in MailWasher I have quite frequently seen the message: Get a capable html e-mailer in the top of a message. I use Eudora, and you simply can't get a more capable emailer than that. What is that all about? Thanks Kyle It's just some dumb spammer getting in a snit about getting caught. Just make a filter to hide delete automatically if the body CONTAINS Get a capable html e-mailer and you will never see that garbage again. The few of you who don't have MailWasher yet, you have no idea how easy it is to make filters like that. You click on ADD Filter Name the filter with something that reminds you of what it is about Click on some radio buttons to set what should be done with that type of spam (like DELETE, HIDE, etc...) Then select the part where the filter should check, like Body, Header, TO, FROM, etc. Then select CONTAINS, DOESN'T CONTAIN, etc.. and finally paste the trigger phrase or word. That's all ! No fuss, no muss. Click OK and you'll never be bothered with that type of spam again. Click on the MailWasher button in the side menu and get the free trial of MailWasher. Once a week, look at the built in stats and see the pretty graph that shows how much spam was nuked by each of the filters, that you made. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if the student is to be absent for the day. Kelly, deciding to bunk and go to the mall with her friends, waited till her parents had left for work and called the school herself. This is the actual conversation of the telephone call. Kelly: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly is unable to make it to school today because she is ill." Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?" Kelly: "This is my mother."
Daily tip from Use a Water Spritz to Stick Sprinkles on Frosting When frosting cookies or cakes with butter cream frosting, sprinkles seems to roll right off! This just happened to me, but then I had a moment of inspiration. I went and grabbed my water spray bottle from the ironing board, put fresh water in, and gave the remaining cookies a spritz. Voila! The sprinkles stuck! Don't use too much spray, just enough to lightly coat the frosting surface. Have fun. By kljohn from Crawford, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large sack of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the convenience store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put him outside!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Sandie for this: [2/7/2012 8:39:01 PM] Sandie: Presidents' Day I was eating lunch with my 6-year-old and I asked her, "What is the 20th of February?" She answered, "Presidents' Day!" I asked her: "What does Presidents' Day mean?" and I waited for something about Washington or Lincoln. She replied, "Presidents' Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have another year of unemployment!" You know, it really hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose!
» Niagara

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