Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, February 12
Vision is still a strain, but now t feels just like I was 
wearing somebody elses glasses, and that, with the proper
glasses, I could see OK.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
 --- Euripides

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, 
but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
--- Bill Vaughan



The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the
things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said,
"Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English
what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just a
lazy old fart."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the latin term so I can
tell my wife."


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Cindy noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, 
sucking in his stomach. 

She commented, "I don't think that's going to help." 

"Sure it does." he said. 
"It's the only way I can see the numbers."





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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to

Dalisha Adams, 26, in Brooklyn, NY

Abandoned toddlers at busy intersection

Brooklyn, New York (The Weekly Vice) Dalisha Adams, a 26-year
old Brooklyn woman was jailed Sunday after she dumped her 
two young daughters onto the street before driving off.

According to Brooklyn police, Adams reportedly left her two 
daughters, ages 2 and 3, on the street around 3:00 p.m..

Police were dispatched to the scene after receiving a 911 
from and elderly couple who found the children standing 
alone next to a busy intersection.

The New York City Administration for Children's Services 
(ACS) was able to identify Adams and her children through 
pictures previously taken of them.

Investigators say the children were found near their 
grandmother's residence, however the grandmother was 
unaware that the children had been abandoned. She told 
police that she had no idea that the girls had been left 
alone until she saw their photographs on a local news station.

She is now attempting to gain full custody of the girls, who 
were taken to the Brookdale University Hospital for observation, 
and then placed in protective custody with ACS.

Adams' neighbors say they regularly heard Adams berating 
her daughters, cussing and shouting at them with foul-
mouthed rants that could be heard throughout the apartment 
complex.

They say Adams blew up at the girls a short time before 
they were discovered abandoned, shouting "Stop crying. 
Shut the (expletive) up. I'm going to get you out of here."

Adams was booked into jail and charged with child 
endangerment. 



Tech Support Pits:

 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 


From: Connie
Re: No pictures in mail 

Dear Webby
Lately I have been receiving attachments and pictures 
and all I can see on them is a red X in the corner. Why 
can't I see them?
Connie

Dear Corrine
Sounds like you are handicapped with Outloock Express.
That's just some settings in Outloock Express.

I don't allow Outloock Express within 10 feet of any Webby 
machine, but I found an answer with Google:

To re-enable the images and external content in HTML
e-mail, use the following steps.

Open Outlook Express.
In Outlook Express, from the Tools menu, click Options.
In the Options dialog box, click the Security tab,
and then take the checkmark off the line that says:
"Block images and other external content in HTML e-mail"

There might be more Outluck settings you have to check, 
but that one seems to have helped most people.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





The little daughter of a lieutenant answered a telephone call
while her parents were out. A man called, identifying himself
as Colonel Hendrick.

She asked if he would please spell the name slowly.

He said, "H as in horse, E as in egg, N as in nose, D as in
doggie, R as in rabbit, I as in Indian, C as in cat, K as in
kite."

When her father returned, he found the following message:
"Daddy, call Colonel Horseeggnosedoggierabbitindiancatkite."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Create Stick Sculptures to Attract Birds

This tip is "for the birds" in your garden. I don't throw 
away large sticks that fall during storms, instead I keep 
them and use them to make stick sculptures for the birds. 

They add whimsy to my garden and the birds LOVE to land 
on them because after all they are sticks from real trees. 
I started with a plain garden hook and just attached the 
sticks as I found them and it's an ever changing sculpture. 
You can add birdhouses or anything you want to, but I 
guarantee you that the birds will land on it and land on 
it often!

By Jeanasina from Richfield, MN

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



A Classic!
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York, where a woman may
go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6
floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends
the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may
choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back
down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have
jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my
last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further
up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and
are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm,............. better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" So
she ascends another flight of stairs.

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are
extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more, further
up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are
extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic
streak...sexy...great lovers.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think ... what must be awaiting me on the last
floor?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this
floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof
that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day.

Just for fun, they opened a wife store across the street.
On the first floor, the sign read: These women love cooking
and sex and speak only sign language.

The deep dust on the stairs to the second floor has never
been disturbed yet. 




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


When I got out of the Navy I answered a want-ad for a 
forklift operator at a soft-drink bottling company.

I was taken on a tour of the plant by the warehouse foreman who
stressed how important it was not to break any bottles.

"In the Navy," I explained, "I wasn't allowed any mistakes with
the forklift either."

"What did you handle?"

"Bombs."



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