Happy Valentines Day! 

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Today is Tuesday, February 14

Happy Valentines Day!

I Love You in all languages is at

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"Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders." --- Nietzsche
Bob and his wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a big, muddy hole in the road and the car became bogged down. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. Bob readily accepted and minutes later the car was free. Bob looked at the muddy tracks around the puddle and remarked that a lot of cars must be getting stuck there. "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today, the farmer said" Bob looked around at the fields incredulously and asked the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? You must do it at night." "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole. My wife plows and disks the farm with the tractor."
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A drunk goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches. "I feel tired all the time, my head hurts, I've got a sore butt, and I'm not sleeping. What is it, Doc?" The doctor examines him thoroughly and says, "I can't find anything wrong. It must be the drinking." "Fair enough," replied the lush. "Happens to me too. I'll come back when you sober up."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Andrea Ebert, 30 in Cameron, WI Teacher emailed naked pictures of herself to two students and had sex with them Cameron, WI (The Weekly Vice) - Andrea Ebert, a 30-year old special education teacher at Rice Lake Middle School was jailed Friday after she allegedly had sex with two students. According to police, an investigation began Wednesday after detectives received a tip alleging sexual abuse between Ebert and two 17-year-old male students. Investigators say Ebert admitted to having sex with both students between November 9, 2011 and January 31, 2012. Ebert also allegedly sent the boys over a dozen nude photographs of herself. When one of the teens told Ebert he was worried that she could get in trouble for the affair, Ebert reportedly assured him that if he stayed quiet, nothing would happen. Ebert, who has children herself, allegedly brought both boys to her home for the sexual encounters. No sexual encounters are believed to have occurred on school property. Ebert was taken into custody at the school and then transported to the police station for questioning. She was booked into the Barron County Jail and charged with two counts of sexual assault of a student by school staff. She was released after posting $5,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits: From: John Re: Browser losing previous page Dear Webby It seems every time I go into http://angelwinks.net and check how my card looks and I find a spelling error or want to add a line I click "edit card" , go back to make changes & everything has dissapeared. Some of my cards I send are poems I do on-the-spot and don't have a copy. This happens all the time. What do I do? John B Dear John Set the cache of your browser to refresh every time you open the browser, not every time you open a page. In the browser click on TOOLS Internet Options General Settings Every Time You Start Internet Explorer Then hit OK a few times. From then on Internet Explorer won't delete your work. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the code words, 'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'" So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a pub in Dublin. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy." The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, who's president of our local savings bank. There's Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too." Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning." The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives right down the street, but he usually doesn't come in here till around 8 PM."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Coupons We only eat out as a family if we have a coupon to do so. But keeping track of all those dining out coupons can be difficult. I created a coupon file just for this purpose. Using a small check organizer file, I labeled sections with titles such as: fast food, ice cream, pizza, buffet, diners, etc. There is even a section for entertainment (bowling, mini golf, movies). We keep this file in our car along with my grocery coupon file so we remember to use them before their expiration dates. By Deb from Manchester, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception? A: They're the ones dancing with everyone but their wives. Q: What is a wedding tragedy? A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money. Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves? A: Buy her a nice ring. Q: What's long and hard and a Polish man gives it to his bride on their wedding night?
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Command- ments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without hesitating or thinking about it, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Seedy & Scandalous Lore of St. Valentine

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