CPU Speed 

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Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, March 24
More snow! 
Personally, I'd be ready for a bit of that promised 
Gullible Warming instead of the hostile, icy wind while
I went for my walk in the evening.

Thank you, Maggie!
Thank you Jim!

Today in 
1801 Aleksandr P Romanov becomes emperor of Russia 
1832 Mormon Joseph Smith beaten, tarred & feathered in Ohio
1837 Canada gives blacks the right to vote 
1882 German scientist Robert Koch discovers bacillus cause of TB 
1898 1st US automobile sold
1944 811 British bombers attack Berlin 
1945 Largest one-day airborne drop, 600 transports & 1300 gliders 
1955 British Army patrols withdraw from Belfast after 20 years 
1958 Elvis Presley joins the army
1965 US Ranger 9 strikes Moon
1972 Great Britain imposes direct rule over Northern Ireland 
1982 US sub Jacksonville collides with a Turkish freighter near Virginia 
1986 US & Libya clash in Gulf of Sidra 
1989 Worst US oil spill, Exxon's Valdez spills 11.3 million gallons off Alaska 
1990 Indian troops leave Sri Lanka 
2012  smiled.

Have FUN!

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It is not worth an intelligent man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that. --- G. H. Hardy I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. --- Edith Sitwell Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.... --- Carl Zwanzig
Nine year was asked by his mother what had been taught in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, , is that really what your teacher told you?" the mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
Dogfood Secrets from the Dogfood Conspiracy

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. Her friend said, "I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with that man." She replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him." "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with that man?" "I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check."
Click through for the large version. House of the gods, Venezuela
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jailed After Calling 911 Because Wife Was Sitting Next To Him Wesley Chapel, Florida - Doyle Hardwick, a 57-year-old Florida man was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly called 911 to complain that his wife wouldn't stop sitting next to him. According to police, Doyle Hardwick became increasingly irritated when he wanted to check his Facebook profile in peace, however his wife, Julie Hardwick, refused to leave him alone. Investigators say Doyle first gave his wife a beer, hoping it would make her drowsy enough to fall asleep. Instead, his wife continued to sit next to him so that she could watch him browse the Internet and visit his Facebook profile. Doyle called 911 to complain. Officers arrived at the couple's home and noted in the report that both parties were calm and no emergency existed. Doyle Hardwick was arrested and pleaded no contest to a charge of misusing 911. He was sentenced to 60 days in jail. A warrant was issued for his arrest when he failed to report to jail to serve his sentence. He turned himself in on Tuesday. Doyle Hardwick has previous arrests for carrying a concealed weapon, misuse of 911, trespassing after warning and probation violation. Julie Hardwick was not arrested over the incident but has been previously arrested for theft of utilities.
Tech Support Pits: From: Bill Re: CPU speed Dear Webby, I need to know the basic CPU speed of my computer. Thanks Bill Dear Bill Just download the Belarc Advisor from http://webby.com/tools.html It will do a complete inventory of what is in your machine and make a nice, printable report, a good idea before sending the macine for repair or lending it to anybody. It is also great for insurance purposes. Holding down the Windows key and hitting PAUSE, will give you a page with some basic information too. Have FUN! DearWebby
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There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and Johnny would always take the nickel (they said) because it was bigger. One day after Johnny grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?" With a big grin on his face, Johnny slowly turned toward the store owner. "Well," he answered, "If I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've saved $20!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Refurbishing A Faded Patio Umbrella My community has recycling once a month. It is amazing the things you can find that people are throwing out. For example, our deck table needed an umbrella and someone threw one out. It was faded but otherwise in pretty good shape. I decided to spray paint it using an indoor/outdoor paint that is good for wood, metal, and more. I worked perfectly and I have had no problems with the paint running or fading. By LoracMc from IA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
From Belinda: It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card. I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased with the card. It read "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags. He always did this with bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well dressed man when he got to the luggage carousel. Mr. Smith walked over to the fellow and pointed out the colored ribbons tied to the handle, and the fluorescent tape on the sides. "I believe that luggage is mine. Were your bags marked like this?" he asked. "Actually," the man replied, "I was wondering who did this to my luggage." --------------------- My DearWebby business cards have my mugshot on them. I have epoxied them onto every side of every piece of my laggage, computer and camera for the last twenty years. None of those have ever been taken by anybody else.
Food Carvings

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