Is a firewall really necessary? 

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Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, March 26

Thank you, Larry!

Today in 
1668 England takes control of Bombay India 
1799 Napolean captures Jaffa Palestine
1804 Congress orders removal of Indians east of Mississippi to Louisiana
1804 Territory of Orleans organized in Louisiana Purchase 
1812 Earthquake destroys 90% of Caracas; about 20,000 die 
1859 1st sighting of Vulcan, a planet thought to orbit inside Mercury 
1885 Louis Riel's forces defeat Canadian forces at Duck Lake, Saskatchewan 
1910 US forbid immigration to criminals, anarchists, paupers & the sick 
1934 Driving tests introduced in Britain 
1937 Spinach growers of Crystal City TX, erect statue of Popeye
1944 705 British bombers attack Essen 
1945 Japanese resistance ends on Iwo Jima
1945 Kamikazes attack US battle fleet near Kerama Retto 

In Alaska, today is Seward Day to comemorate President Seward 
buying Alaska and the Aleutian Islands in 1867.

Have FUN!

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"I had general anesthesia for my surgery. It's so weird. You go to sleep in one room and then wake up four hours later in a totally different room. Just like in college." --- Ross Shafer "What's the first thing a little girl wants when she gets a new bike? A basket--she's prepared to shop. What's the first thing a boy wants on his bike? A bell or horn--he's prepared for traffic. "What's the first toy a little girl wants? A doll--she's prepared to shop with friends. What's the first toy a little boy wants? A gun--he's prepared for traffic." --- Jason Chase
One way to make your old car run better is to look up the price of a new model.
Dogfood Secrets from the Dogfood Conspiracy

Uncle Jon was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his four-year-old Great Nephew, James, standing at the fence, wide-eyed and soaking in the whole event. Uncle Jon thought to himself: "Great, now I'm gonna have to explain the 'birds and bees' to him. Well, no need to jump the gun. I'll just wait and see if he has any questions, and I'll just answer them as best I can." After Uncle Jon finished helping the cow with her birthing, he walked over to James and asked him: "Do you have any questions about what you seen here tonight?" "Just one," the little boy whispered, eyes still wide with wonder. "How fast was that calf going when he hit the cow?"
Click through for the large version. Agra, India
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Brian Allee, 29 Jailed After Shooting Up Heroin In Front Of Son's School, With Crying Baby In Back Seat Sheboygan, Wis. (The Weekly Vice) - Brian Allee, a 29-year-old Wisconsin man was jailed Wednesday after he allegedly injected heroin while waiting in a car in front of his son's school. An 8-month-old baby was found crying in the back seat. According to Sheboygan police, officers were dispatched to Cooper Elementary School after Allee's six-year-old son found his father passed out in a car outside of his school. The child ran back into the school crying "I can't wake Daddy up." Investigators say a teacher went out to the car, which was still running, and was unable to wake Allee. A syringe was found in Allee's hand while an 8-month-old baby cried in the back seat. Arriving officers searched the car and found six foil squares of heroin, a cigarette lighter and a burned spoon that was coated with heroin residue. Needle marks were found on Allee's arm, including one mark that was still bleeding. Allee was transported to Sheboygan Memorial Hospital where he was treated and tested for drug abuse. He was taken into custody soon afterward. Allee was booked into jail and charged with child neglect and possession of drug paraphernalia.
Tech Support Pits: From: Beat Re: Is a firewall necessary? Dear Webby, Is a firewall necessary for a computer that is only used for an hour or so every day? Beat Dear Beat Yes, it is. They did a test with a thousand brand new computers and they were attacked on the average within 14 minutes. If you don't think a good firewall like McAfee is justified in your case, get a free one like ZoneAlarm. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A young Jewish lad entered Notre Dame to play football. At the end of the season, he returned home. As luck would have it, he ran into his Rabbi at the airport. The rabbi asked, "Are they trying to convert you at South Bend?" The youngster said, "Of course not, Father!"
Daily tip from Make Flavored Drinks with Soda Water Use carbonated spring water, which is available cheaply from chains like Asda (Walmart in US), to make up orangeade, lemonade, etc. This enables you to have a wide choice of fizzy drinks without either buying big bottles of pop which go flat quickly, or individual cans/bottles which cost more. By Verity Eileen from Norfolk, UK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A guy with a speech impediment goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he's ever seen in his life. The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise and asks... "ess-tues me ser?" "Yes sir" replied the clerk. "Tould you tale me how mutsh youre pisstasheos arr?" "Pistachio's? They're six dollars a pound." "SSit!" The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing, and then asks "welp, how mutsh arr youre aahhmons?" "Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound." "SSIT!" Replied the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout youre pikanns?" "Pecans? They're on sale today...they're only four fifty a pound." "Welp...SSit.. just div me a poulnd of dose dhen." "Alrighty then," Says the clerk, and begins bagging up a pound of pecans. Then the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Sirr, I just wana tay tank you fo not maken phun of de way I talk, cauz I tan't hep it." The clerk replies with a smile "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that... I don't make fun of anybody, for any thing! I don't know if you noticed or not, but I have a rather large nose." The tongue-tied guy replies, "Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your dick, your nutz arr so damn high!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks one night. "My grandfather lived to be 96." "Ninety-six? What finally got him? "Liquor and women." "Well, that just goes to show ya," snickered the one guy, "both will get you in the end." "Well actually, no, it's not what ya think. Towards the end, Grandpa couldn't get either one, so he just laid down and died."
Strange Clock

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