How much RAM does XP need? 

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Today is Wednesday, March 28

Today in 
1738 English parliament declares war on Spain
1774 Britain passes Coercive Act against Massachusetts 
1797 Nathaniel Briggs of New Hampshire patents a washing machine
1799 New York State abolished slavery
1804 Ohio passed law restricting movement of Blacks
1845 Mexico drops diplomatic relations with US 
1854 During the Crimean War, Britain & France declare war on Russia
1866 1st ambulance goes into service 
1885 US Salvation Army officially organized 
1917 Jews are expelled from Tel Aviv & Jaffa by Turkish authorities 
1935 Goddard uses gyroscopes to control a rocket
1939 Dutch hunter shoots English bombers down 
1939 Spanish Civil War ends, Madrid falls to Francisco Franco 
1941 Sea battle at Cape Matapan: British fleet under Cunningham defeats Italy
1942 234 RAF bombers attack Lübeck
1994 Italy's right-wing alliance under Silvio Berlusconi wins election 
1995 World's largest banks-Japan's Mitsubishi Bank & Bank of Tokyo merge 
2012  smiled

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Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. --- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
A blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the blind farmer in the back. The farmer turned very quickly, caught the bull by the horns and threw him to the ground with a thump that left it breathless. "Goodness!" said the neighbor, "I never knew you were so strong." "I owe it all to faith," said the blind farmer. "And if I could have got that fella off the handlebars of his bike, I'd have thrashed him good and properly."
Dogfood Secrets from the Dogfood Conspiracy

>From Brent Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while setting it up so we decided to call the customer support phone number we found in the manual. I picked up the phone and called the number. A man answered the phone and I explained the problem to him. He began rattling off computer jargon. This confused us even more. "Sir," I said politely, "Can you explain what I should do as if I were a small child?" "Okay," the computer support guy said, "Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Michael Gorneau, 46 Man pocket dials 911 while stealing A Connecticut man accidentally called 911 on his cell phone while he was allegedly stealing 700 pounds of scrap metal from a local business Thursday. Police initially thought the call was a medical emergency, since they could only hear rustling in the background before the call disconnected, according to Southington Patch. But once identified the caller's location using GPS, they arrived at the scene to find Michael Gorneau, 46, had transferred the metal from a local business's dumpster into his pick-up truck. Gorneau accidentally called 911 while crawling under a fence, police told Southington Patch. They initially thought the call might be a medical emergency, since they could only hear rustling in the background. The metal belonged to a company that makes metal doors, NBC Connecticut reported. Far from being trash, it's generally sold to help pay for the employees' benefits. Gorneau was charged with third-degree trespassing and sixth-degree larceny larceny. He was released from jail on $5,000 bond, and is scheduled to appear in court on April 2.
Tech Support Pits: From: Bill Re: How much memory for XP ? Dear Webby, One of my home computers is a Dell running Windows XP Professional. I have 1G memory. Browsers seem to crash fairly often, Firefox and Chrome. I suspect they run into memory problems when several tabs, not many, are open. Before I get more memory, I wonder if the rather massive number of things that load at start-up might be a problem, Since I don't know what they all do. Is there somewhere I can find out what is essential and what I can forgo? I am sending this message using Netscape Navigator 9 which seems not to have that problem. -- Wm W. P. Dear Bill 1 GB is not really enough for nowadays. Be a big spender and get another MB. To sort out what starts up I use StartupCop from PC Magazine. It costs $8, but is well worth it. It lets you disable unwanted stuff and does a fair job explaining what each item does. You should still get that second MB of RAM from DELL or TigerDirect, but StartupCop will help to eliminate unwanted or obsolete stuff and generally clean things up. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now our boat is the only urinal for 500 miles around!"
Daily tip from Paper Towel Rolls for Seedlings I save the cardboard centers from toilet paper. These are excellent for starting seeds for my garden in the early spring. When the conditions are right for planting, I simply plant seedling in its cardboard core. By Judi S. from Six Mile, SC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
Paddy and Mick were nailing up the side of a wooden house. Mick noticed that Paddy was examining the nails and throwing away every second and third. ”What's wrong with the nails?” he asked. ”Sure the heads are at the wrong end.” ”You are stupid you idiot, can't you see they are for the other side of the house?”
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Finnegan’s wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning him. "Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant. "Yes, of course she did." "Well, what did she say?" "She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said Finnegan. "I stopped listening twenty years ago."
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