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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, April 9

Five Million Dollars to send Obama's 13 year old daughter 
and 25 Secret Service bodyguards for a brief spring break 
trip to Oaxaca. Mexico, with two jets of course, since 
Muslims are not supposed to fly on the same jet as their dogs, 
I don't know if she has a real dog, or that the Obamas just 
considers the Secret Service bodyguards and bullet shields 
as dogs. 

It's just taxpayer's money, and lots more where that came 
from.

When I still went on spring break in college and university,
I used to go up into the mountains with (fake) seal skins
strapped onto the skis. With those you can climb any mountain,
that has snow on it. We usually overnighted in Alpine Club 
lodges for next to nothing, sometimes in small tents, and
sometimes in snow caves. 

We were just a small group, though, and considered totally
nuts by the rest, who stayed home and watched TV. But I
always suspected, that they were a bit envious.

Today in 
1241 Battle of Liegnitz - Mongol armies defeat Poles & Germans 
1388 Battle of Näfels; Glarius: Swiss defeat Habsburg (Austrian) army 
1682 Robert La Salle claims lower Mississippi (Louisiana) for France 
1829 Danzig (Gdansk) dike break flood kills 1,200
1864 Battle of Pleasant Hill LA, 2870 casualities 
1912 Titanic leaves Queenstown Ireland for New York 
1914 Tampico incident - US ship crew arrested in Mexico
1917 Vimy Ridge France stormed by Canadian troops 
1945 Battleship Admiral Scheer sinks British aircraft carrier 
1957 Suez Canal cleared for all shipping 
1960 South African premier Verwoerd wounded in battle
1965 India & Pakistan engage in border fight 
1967 1st Boeing 737 rolls out. They STILL make those!
1969 1st flight of Concorde 002
1972 USSR & Iraq sign friendship treaty
1973 Netherlands recognizes North Vietnam
1981 US sub George Washington rams Japanese freighter Nisso Maru 
1991 Release of Microsoft MS-DOS 5.0, by many considered to be the last stable OS.
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it." --- Sam Ewing "Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kind of like being the guy on a date." --- Caroline Rhea
One night father was helping with the homework. Father asked "What is the Gross National Product?" pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach?"
The E-cookbooks Library Discover The All New E-cook books Library! Over 100 Full Length Cookbooks All In PDF Format. Read them on your computer or print them out. Fantastic deal works out to under 18 cents per book! Limited time deal. Get the 100 book Library now!

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs. She nudged me and whispered, "Wake up, wake up!" "What's the matter?" I asked. "There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the broccoli casserole I made tonight." "That'll teach them!" I replied.
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Easter 2012, April 8 Fresh snow outside. The big one in the center is a Echinocereus Matudae.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Joseph Faulk, 27 Drunk street sweeper hits cop car ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- A state street sweeper cleaning up after a crash was allegedly involved in his own crash with a Bernalillo County deputy's patrol car. It happened on Interstate 40 last Friday when 59-year-old Herbert Morgan was called out to clean up a scene. A police report says that after hitting the deputy's patrol car, the deputy asked Morgan to step out of the sweeper and noticed Morgan stumbling and having difficulty walking. The complaint says Morgan was also slurring his words. According to the complaint, Morgan agreed to submit to field sobriety tests, which he failed. The Albuquerque Journal reports a breath test later measured Morgan's blood-alcohol concentration at or above 0.16 percent, which is twice the state's presumed level of intoxication. Morgan was arrested on suspicion of aggravated DWI. Morgan had THREE prior DUI arrests.
Tech Support Pits: From: Louise Re: Problem getting subscriptions at Yahoo I am not getting humor letter at all. louise........@yahoo,com Dear Louise That is normal with your type of Yahoo address. Once your subscription has entered the Yahoo server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. Most yahoos only get about 1/3 of their subscriptions. Until you get a respectable address, you can browse to http://webby.com/humor and see what Yahoo stole from you. I sent you an invitation to Gmail. They are 100% reliable, especially if you make a filter. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A delightful classic, that keeps coming back: A well-to-do young man met a beautiful young woman at an exclusive party and was immediately smitten with her. He took her on the town and eventually to his apartment where he discovered she was not only a beautiful woman, but also well-groomed, cultured and very intelligent. Hoping to impress her, he offered her a glass of wine and asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry. "Oh, Sherry," she said, "by all means. To me, it's the nectar of the Gods. Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When that gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion... "On the other hand, Port just makes me fart."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Business Cards I like taking calling cards, especially from stores like beauty salons, doctors office, even restaurants. I did not know where to store them. I bought a wallet size photo album from a dollar store ($1) and started putting all the cards I have taken in there. At the back of the calling cards, I note down comments like the hours and days for my favorite hairstylist or for restaurants favorite menus and what not to order (good for take outs). By Rosario from FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Anni noticed something funny about Dawn's ear and she said, "Dawn, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Dawn answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out & stared at it. Then she said, "Anni, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Alice for this: Looking in the mall for a cotton nightgown, I tried my luck in a store known for its hot lingerie. To my delight, however, I found just what I was looking for. Waiting in the line to pay, I noticed a young woman behind me holding the same nightgown. This confirmed what I suspected all along: despite being over 50, I still have a very "with it" attitude. "I see we have the same taste," I said proudly to the 20 something behind me. "Yes," she replied. "I'm getting this for my grandmother."
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