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Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, April 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Yesterday I noticed water running down at the edge of the 
road on the North side, but no rain. So I checked on the 
West side. There water was spouting up in the middle of the 
road at a rate of about 40 Liters (10 US Gallons) a minute.

Water main break!
Just as I was looing for an after hours number for the town,
one of their guys showed up and marked with a spray can
where the road needed to be dug up.

Then another guy showed up and they started searching for
shut-off valves, while I frantically filled every pot with water.
I even walked over to Barb in the next block. She had borrowed 
my 5 gallon Chilie pot some time ago. I got back in time to 
fill that too, before they shut things off.

Then today a crew showed up with a big tracked hoe, and 
carved open a hole big enough for a small house. They cheerfully
smashed the old style sewer line, but were very gentle about
exposing the water main. 

Once the water main was exposed, it showed two holes the 
size of cookies about a hand's width apart. Apparently that
was a weak spot in the steel pipe, and somebody slamming 
a valve shut too quickly somewhere, blew out those weak

They put a wrap-around sleeve onto the main, replaced the 
smashed part of the sewer line with plastic, put the dirt back
into the hole and tamped it down. Three hours after that crew
had shown up, they drove away.
And I had water again!

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Have FUN!

Today in 
4977 -BC- Johannes Kepler's date for creation of universe
1509 Pope Julius II excommunicates Italian state of Venice 
1565 1st Spanish settlement in Philippines, Cebu City
1773 British Parliament passes the Tea Act (eventually leads to 
  Boston Tea Party on December 16) 
1805 US Marines attack shores of Tripoli (pirates)
1813 in revenge for the Canucks burning down the White House in 1812,
  Americans under General Pike capture Toronto today in 1913; Pike is killed 
1861 West Virginia secedes from Virginia after Virginia secedes from US 
1870 Heinrich Schliemann discovers Troy
1881 Pogroms against Russian Jews start in Elisabethgrad 
1920 Pogrom leader Petljoera declares Ukraine Independence 
1923 Mussolini government on the side of the winners at the end of WWI takes South Tirol
1941 German troops occupy Athens Greece 
1945 2nd Republic of Austria forms, however, that did not stop Allied bombing
1946 1st radar installation aboard a commercial ship installed 
1960 1st atomic powered electric-drive submarine launched (Tullibee) 
1965 RC Duncan patents "Pampers" disposable diaper 
1976 Arabic Monetary Fund established in Abu Dhabi
1977 Bloody riots in Soweto South Africa 
1978 Afghanistan revolution, pro-Russian, anti CIA military coup 
1987 US bars Austrian Chancellor Waldheim from entering US, due to his aid of 
  Nazi Germany as a juvenile during WWII 
1989 Beijing students take over Tiananmen Square in China
2012  smiled

Have FUN!

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"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes." --- Robert Frost
A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, ma fren, I ain't got none of dem, no. Deez here are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" "Ya. Avery night I take deez here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim 'round for a while. Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home." "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's de truth ma' fren. I'll show you. It really works." "Okay, I've GOT to see this!" The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" said the Cajun. "When are you going to call them back?" "Call who back?" "The FISH!" "What fish?"
Learn Photoshop in a Day! A Complete Photoshop Guide For People Who Hate Normal Manuals, Aimed At Beginners And Moves On To Advanced Level. Learning Photoshop The Easy Way. A Clearly Written And Illustrated E-book With A New Method Of Learning. Change the red car to a blue one. YOU can do it! Easy to follow step-by-step tutorials. Get Photoshop in a Day!

The computer swallowed grandma. Yes, honestly its true. She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Jeeves My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online'. So, if inside your 'Inbox,' My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy', 'Scan' and 'Paste' her And send her back to me! If you print that with a fancy font on some art paper, maybe on top of a nice picture, I think it would make a great Mothers Day present fro grandma!
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Yusra Farhan, 50, in Phoenix, AZ Iraqi Woman Arrested After Beating, Tying Her Daughter to Bed for Talking to Man An Iraqi woman living in Phoenix has been arrested after admitting to beating her daughter and shackling the 19-year-old to a bed as punishment for speaking with a man. After the mother admitted to the crime and explained the catalyst was her “Iraqi culture,“ all elements bear the markings of an ”honor beating.” Phoenix Police arrested 50-year-old Yusra Farhan Wednesday night at St. Joseph’s Hospital where her daughter was being treated for her injuries. The young woman told police her mother beat her with with a shoe before ultimately shackling her waist to a bed to prevent her from leaving the house. 550KFYI reports that the rope was secured by a padlock. Farhan told officers that in Iraqi culture, females are not allowed to have contact with males, thus a daughter is not permitted to have a boyfriend. Farhan resisted arrest and called out to other family members present to help her fight off police, according to court paperwork. Those family members also jumped into the fray and had to be restrained in the hospital’s emergency area, according to police. Farhan was arrested on charges of aggravated assault, unlawful imprisonment, and resisting arrest. The victim claims her father also struck her several times prior to enduring the assault by her mother. The battered woman reported that she was set free only to attend school the morning of the 8th. When the victim arrived at school, she disclosed the details of her assault and was transported to the hospital by the Phoenix Fire department. That barbarian bonehead, Yusra Farhan, needs to be deported back to Iraq!
Tech Support Pits: From: Omar Re: Command Line in W7 Dear Webby In XP we had TweakUI to set up a line in the right-click menu, that let us "Open Command Line Here". How do we get that in Blonde Windows? Omar Dear Omar Contrary to all expectations, some rebel at Microsoft listened to demands to have that included. It is hidden from the innocent babes, but it IS there! In the file explorer, hold down SHIFT and right-click a folder. Then you get a full menu, just as if you had installed TweakUI, and forgotten you did. Whenever you need to go to the command line, for example to copy or move files limited by date, you can do it just as easily as if you were in XP. Have FUN! DearWebby
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My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like." MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of that carpet!" MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC "Because I said so, that's why!" MOM TAUGHT ME IRONY "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT CONTORTIONISM "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER "It looks like a tornado went through your room!" MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times-don't exaggerate!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!" And most of all..... MOM TAUGHT ME THE CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this world, I can take you out!"
Daily tip from Remove Condensation from Car Windows When your windshield steams up on you, a clean blackboard eraser kept in the glove compartment of your car or truck can be quite handy for wiping off the moisture. The eraser is less bulky than a cloth and doesn't shed lint on the glass. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO If you see a "Tunnel" sign, crank down the windows, turn the air onto the windows and grab your eraser. Quite often the sudden coolness of a tunnel will cause the windows to fog up, especially if you have a bunch of noisy kids in the vehicle. Tell them to close their mouths and cover them with their hands, or else the tunnel ghost will kill them. With tunnels, acidents due to kids fogging up the windows are a very close second to impaired driving, however, since tunnel accidents are usually fatal, it is sometimes impossible to tell whether an impared driver got spooked by the sudden fogging up of the windows, and would have been OK, if that had not happened. Prepare the kids before any vacation trip. Whenever you scream "TUNNEL", that means "Shut up and hold your yap, and grab the eraser or cloth, ready to clean the window." Being prepared for that sudden fogging up may save a whole bunch of lives! Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Linda for this one: My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?" "That's up to you," I replied. "There's all kinds of food. Why don't you pretend I'm not at home?" A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband asking, "Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh..what should I feed Lily for lunch?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first Irish mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him one heck of a big party."
» the Life of Flowers

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