Dealing with telemarketers 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, May 1


That is the church in the village, where I grew up. 
Every year on May 1 there was a pilgrimage to that church, 
because miracles happened. 

People came from all over Europe and the pilgrimage 
culminated with a candle / torch march in the evening
around the rock, on which the church sits and then up to 
the church. The ring road is exactly one Kilometer long,
and during the day, there was a 25 lap junior and 100
lap grown-ups bicycle race around the rock.

They hung big speakers along the whole circuit, and people
were watching the race 4 - 5 deep on both sides of the road.
Local and provincial businesses used to pledge pretty hefty
prizes for winning the lap with their house number or the next
lap or the next tenner, and some of the racers made prretty 
good money. 

Somehow, the lag in the sound from the next speakers 
created a neat echo, that somehow made the race more special.

In the evening, when the pilgrims, plus local and nearby clubs,
carried their candles or torches on the same circuit plus up to 
the church and back down again. the same speakers were used
for prayers and hymns. Praying or singing along with thousands 
of people was quite neat too.

A few years after I left both the bicycle race and the 
pilgrimage with candle finish fizzled out. Apparently there 
was nobody left, who was competent enough to organize it. 
I still have fond memories of those annual events, though.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1006 Supernova observed by Chinese & Egyptians in constellation Lupus 
1544 Turkish troops occupy Hunga
1625 Portuguese & Spanish expedition recaptures Salvador
1703 Battle at Rultusk: Swedish army beats Russians
1704 Boston Newsletter publishes 1st newspaper ad
1707 England, Wales & Scotland form UK of Great Britain
1757 Austria & France divide Prussia 
1840 1st adhesive postage stamps ("Penny Blacks" from England) issued 
1841 1st emigrant wagon train leaves Independence MO for California
1844 Samuel Morse sends 1st telegraphic message 
1857 William Walker, conqueror of Nicaragua, surrenders to US Navy 
1873 1st US postal card issued 
1886 US general strike for 8 hour day, begins
1889 1st International Workers Day, according to the 2nd International
1889 Bayer introduces aspirin in powder form (Germany) 
1926 British coal-miners go on strike
1931 Empire State Building opens in New York NY 
1935 Hoover Dam completed 
1935 Canada's 1st silver dollar is circulated 
1939 Batman Comics hit the street 
1943 Food rationing begins in US
1944 Messerschmitt Me-262 Sturmvogel, first operational jet aircraft 
(twin-jet fighter), makes 1st flight 
1945 Admiral Karl Doenitz forms German government (post Hitler)
1945 Soviet army reach Rostock 
1947 Radar for commercial & private planes 1st demonstrated 
1948 North Korea proclaims itself People's Democratic Republic of Korea 
1950 Mayor of Brussels bans May Day parade 
1951 600,000 march for peace & freedom in Germany 
1959 West Germany introduces 5 day work week 
1960 Russia shoots down Francis Gary Powers' U-2 spy plane over Sverdlovsk
1961 1st US airplane hijacked to Cuba 
1961 Fidel Castro announces there will be no more elections in Cuba 
1962 JFK authorizes Area Redevelopment Act (ARA) 
1965 USSR launches Luna 5; later impacts on Moon
1966 US troops shooting targets in Cambodia
1978 1st black mayor of New Orleans (Ernest Morial) inaugurated 
1981 Radio Shack releases Model III TRSDOS 1.3 
1986 Tass reports Chernobyl nuclear power plant mishap 
1992 Rickey Henderson steals his 1,000th base
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something." --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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>From Jean: We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, our 3 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells - and they all work!"
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A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with "1 John 4:18" which reads "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake "John 4:18": "For you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband."
When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned this the hard way after ordering his nurses around as if they were his employees. But the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated," but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a carnation."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Anita R. Joost, 46 in Elgin, Illinois Thanks to Walter, THE Stonecarver, for alerting me to this: Elgin mom encouraged daughter to attack teen rival An Elgin mother is due in Kane County court May 9, accused of encouraging her 15-year-old daughter to beat up another teenager while recording the altercation with her cell phone, according to police. Anita R. Joost, 46, was charged Wednesday with aggravated battery and contributing to the delinquency of a minor in the April 2 incident at a local park. She is free from jail after posting 10 percent of a $50,000 bond, but declined to comment Friday morning. Police said Joost was in the car about 6 p.m. April 2 with her 14-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter, along with two of her daughter’s friends. Joost’s daughter told her she got a call from another 15-year-old girl, and she wanted to meet the girl to attack her at Shadow Hill Park, which is located on the corner of Comstock Drive and Ballad Road, according to a police report. Joost allegedly dropped the girls off at the park and stayed in her car to watch the fight, police said. Police say the incident happened on April 2. Joost was in a car with her daughter, two of the girl's friends and Joost's 14-year-old son when the daughter got a call from a friend. The caller told the girl a 15-year-old girl she had been feuding with wanted to meet at a park and talk things out, police said. The girl told her mother she wanted to go to the park, but to fight the girl, not talk, police said. The mother drove to Shallow Hill Park at 340 Cassidy Lane and dropped the girl off along with her friends, police said. Joost then drove around the park and pulled up to her daughter and friends as they spoke with the 15-year-old girl and her friends, police said. The 15-year-old told the daughter she wanted to talk about their problems and began walking away, police said. But Joost told her daughter to "kick her ass," and then screamed the same thing out the window, according to the police report. After Joost's taunting, her daughter tried to get the other girl to fight but the girl tried to "defuse" the situation, police said. Joost then called one of her daughter's friends on her cell phone and told her, "Enough's enough, either kick her ass or let's go home." Joost's daughter started beating the girl as a friend recorded the fight, police said. After the fight, Joost drove her daughter to a nearby house and encouraged her to begin another fight with the same girl, police said. The owners of the home came outside and ordered the Joosts to leave, police said. Authorities say they pursued charges after becoming aware of the recording. Joost's daughter was charged as a juvenile with aggravated battery in the public way and was detained at the Kane County Youth Home. Police have received a number of videos of the incident and plan to use them in court.
Tech Support Pits: From: Danielle Re: Telemarketers Dear Webby, I have been told not to be rude to telemarketers, just in case they are potential clients. I know you have a dangerously wicked sense of humor and have had some good tips about that in the past, but unfortunately I did not save them. What do you recommend? Danielle Dear Danielle Just tell the telemarketer that they should be talking to Farley Marblemouth and to hold on. Then, before they can reply to that, put them on hold. Eventually you'll hear the beeping that indicates a dead line. An alternative is to tell them that you, or whoever they want to talk to are too busy and that they should send an email. They never do, but if you suspect that they might, you can always give them a bogus addres like farley.marblemouth.III@aol.com Have FUN! DearWebby
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Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as "Bonkistry." He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it past him to come up with something like this. Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go up to University of Virginia and party with some friends up there. So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Bonk after the final and explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to University of Virginia for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus. Bonk thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about polarity and solutions and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page. It said: (95 points) Which tire?
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create Computer Troubleshooting Binder I love my computer but must admit that I'm not savvy on it at all. I am forever coming across a problem that I don't know how to fix and having to call HP, AOL or somebody to help me. I found I was calling lots of times over and over for the same problems. Finally I came up with an idea and it's saved me countless phone calls. Now when I have a problem and have to call, while I'm on the phone I take detailed notes. Then when I'm done I immediately write up the problem and everything that was done to fix the problem on the computer (or hand write it, either way). I keep a notebook binder on the desk now with lots of page protectors in it. Into each page protector goes the problem and fix. Then I stick a tab on the edge with a short "label" of what the problem was. This has saved me a lot of headaches and a lot of time. It's so much faster and easier than trying to call these companies! By Cricketnc from Parkton, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked: "Did you kill that?" The pigmy said, "Yes." The hunter asked, "How could a little bloke like you kill a huge beast like that?" "With my club." The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?" The pigmy replied, "There's about 60 of us."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted. The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds, and he had tried everything. Two weeks later, on a visit a friend noticed his flower beds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom. So the friend asked him how he managed to keep the chickens away. "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?" "One night I hid a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. He built a fence that same morningand I wasn't bothered after that."
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