What is a Hotkey? 

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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, May 28
Memorial Day in the USA

Happy 55th Anniversary Lillemore and Gene!
How can you have a 55th anniversary, 
if you are just 29 and a bit?

Have FUN!

Today in 
0585 -BC- Thales Miletus predicts solar eclispe
0585 -BC-  Persian-Lydian battle ends 
1349 60 Jews murdered in Breslau Silesia
1731 All Hebrew books in Papal State are confiscated
1818 1st steam-vessel to sail Great Lakes launched
1845 Fire in Québec City, Canada, 1,500 houses destroyed 
1900 Solar eclipse occurs 
1918 Tatars declare Azerbaijan, in Russian Caucasus, independent 
1919 Armenia declares it's independence 
1923 Attorney General says it is legal for women to wear trousers anywhere
1923 US unemployment has nearly ended 
1928 Dodge Brothers Inc & Chrysler Corp merged 
1940 Belgium surrenders to Germany, King Leopold III gives himself up
1940 British-French troops capture Narvik Norway 
1961 Last trip (Paris to Bucharest) on Orient Express (after 78 years) 
1963 Cyclone hits Chittagong, Bangladesh; estimated 22,000 die 
& 1 million houses destroyed 
1964 Palestine National Congress forms the PLO 
(Palestine Liberation Organization) in Jerusalem
1979 European Market accepts Greece as member
2003 Pres. Bush signed a $350 billion tax cut into law; the 
  third largest tax cut in U.S. history.
Today is also the day of St Bernard, the patron saint of mountain climbers.
2012  smiled

Have FUN!

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In an interview this week Paris Hilton said she never discussed sex with her parents. She said she was too shy to ask them about it. In fact, everything she knows about sex she learned from watching her own videos. --- Jay Leno The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. --- Harlan Ellison I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way. --- Franklin P. Adams
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!

A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" "Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank." "That's quite ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra Hundred. Bye."

Groan Alert! A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing: she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them. Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs, and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her. After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic gear?" He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing." Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. "Well? Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. "No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. "Well? What is it, then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked. The man grinned and said, "She's a battery seller." "Batteries?" cried the wife. "Yes," he replied. "She sells C cells by the sea shore."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Melissa Eaton, 48 in Lilbourn, MO Jailed After Having Sex with 13-year-old boy twice a week over two year period Melissa Eaton, a 48-year-old Missouri woman was jailed after she allegedly had sex with a 13-year-old boy (twice a week) for nearly two years. According to police, Eaton began a sexual relationship with a 13-year-old boy in April 2010 and continued having sex with the boy - twice a week - until February 2012. An investigation was launched after juvenile authorities contacted police about the alleged relationship. Eaton was booked into the New Madrid County Jail and charged with multiple counts of statutory rape and sodomy.
Tech Support Pits: From: Rosemarie Re: What is a Hot Key? Dear Webby You told a young man a few days ago to re-boot W7 (which I have..unfortunately) once a week or when the hot keys mess up. What exactly are Hot Keys??? I sound kinda naive, huh?? LOL. Dankeschön.....Rosemarie Dear Rosemarie Hotkeys are keyboard key combinations, that accomplish the same as mousing around and clicking on things. For example CTRL E to fetch the mail, CTRL SHIFT M to open MailWasher, ALT F A to save a file under a new name, and so on. When any of those stop working, you can still get things done by mousing around, but it is time to reboot, because pretty soon W7 is going to mess up seriously. Whenever that happens, I save everything, reboot and go do the dishes or mop a floor. When I come back, W7 has usually finished rebooting. Have FUN! DearWebby
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An elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to Remove Paint Transfer My husband went ballistic when he saw a scrape on my car bumper. My grandkids ride their bikes, etc. and he just knew someone had "nicked" the paint on the bumper. I took a tiny bit of a Mr. Clean sponge and gently scrubbed the "nick". It was gone in no time and not a trace of anything remained. Disaster averted. I even got rid of a few more that looked like nicks! By Halfwhit from Ashdown, AR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car???!!!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" demanded his parents. " We know what a Porsche costs." "Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said. "It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "I don't know her name-they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars " "Oh my Goodness," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it. "Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen." Now type the letter "p" to bring up the Program Manager." CUSTOMER: "I don't have a "p". TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob." CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?" TECH SUPPORT" "p" on your keyboard, Bob." CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
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