Double Amputee walking? 

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Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, May 25
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

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Today in 
1495 1st written record of Scotch Whiskey appears in Exchequer Rolls
           of Scotland. Friar John Cor is the distiller 
1774 British govt orders Port of Boston closed 
1845 Homing pigeon completes 11,000 km trip (Namibia-London) in 55 days 
1855 US adventurer Wm Walker conquers Nicaragua, reestablishes slavery 
1869 Voting Machine patented by Thomas Edison 
1877 US troops authorized to pursue bandits into Mexico
1915 1st Zeppelin air raid over England 
1938 Superman Comics launched 
1939 British sub "Thetis" sinks in Liverpool Bay with all 99 aboard
1969 Tobacco advertising is banned on Canadian radio & TV 
1990 The Cowboy Channel on cable TV begins transmitting
1991 Mount Pinatubo (Phillipines) erupts for 1st time in 600 years 
2001 Crown Prince Dipendra of Nepal wiped out most of the royal family before shooting himself.
2012  smiled

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We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. --- Aesop Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. --- Kin Hubbard
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From Jane: We had been on the road for 15 hours en route from New York to California and were looking for a place to spend the night. At four different motels, however, we were told, "Sorry, no vacancies." Heading back to the car, my seven-year-old son asked solemnly, "Mom, are we vacancies?"
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A City Policeman went up to a vendor selling toys and said, "I'm sorry, you can't sell that stuff without a license." The peddler replied, "I knew I wasn't selling any, but I didn't know the reason."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Heidi Hyre, 51, in Albany, Oregon Heidi Hyre And The Case Of The Naughty Librarian Heidi Hyre, a 51-year-old library aide at South Albany High School has been jailed after she allegedly sent sexual text messages to three gossipy students and had sex with one of them. According to police, Hyre had more on her mind than the Dewey Decimal System when she allegedly began sexting with three 17-year-old students at South Albany High School. Investigators say Hyre, who is married with college aged children, also had sex with one of the students. The sexual encounter reportedly took place in her car about two miles from the school. Hyre has been placed on administrative leave pending the outcome of the investigation. An investigation was launched after rumors of an inappropriate relationship began circulating around the school. Hyre was booked into jail and charged with using a child in a display of sexually explicit conduct, encouraging child sex abuse, luring a minor, contributing to the sexual delinquency of a minor and third-degree sexual abuse. Her bail has been set at $25,000.
Tech Support Pits: From: Unc Wes Re: Double Amputee walking Dear Webby I would love to see a double-amputee walk...even with a cane !!! unk wes Dear Unc Wes Not all amputees can afford bionic legs. Many have just cheap peg-legs and do need a cane to walk and even to stand upright without leaning onto a counter or wall. Usually only when they lose their legs as very young kids, do they achieve proper balance without a cane, however, some make it to the olympics and compete against runners, who have both legs, and who complain, that the amputee has an unfair advantage. Runner without legs Have FUN! DearWebby
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Just before a soldier made his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him, "Count to ten and pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for the auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick you up." The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted to ten, and pulled the first cord. Nothing happened. He pulled the second cord. Again, nothing happened. As he careened crazily earthward, he yelled: "@%$# Army! . I'll bet that truck won't be there either!"
Daily tip from Organizing Rubber Bands Save the little plastic hanger that comes with a new pair of socks. Load all your stray rubber bands onto the hanger. Use one rubber band to make the hinge. Loop it inside itself around the end and then hook the other end. Toss it in a drawer or hang. By Anne from Memphis, TN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
Because I was processing my first accident report at the transport company where I worked, I was being particularly attentive. The driver had hit a deer on the highway, and the result was a severely damaged hood and fender. My serious mood was broken, however, when I reached the section of the report that asked, "Speed of other vehicle?" The driver had put, "Full gallop."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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As a jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth 50,000 years ago at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep." The lady sitting next to me exclaimed: "Wow, look! It just missed the highway!"
Sedimentary, My Dear

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