Boneheads or not 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, July 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
552 Origin of Armenian calendar 
1866 Indelible pencil patented by Edson P Clark
1886 Eruption of Tarawera volcano destroys famous pink & white
    calcium carbonate hot-spring terraces (North Island, New Zealand) 
1923 All non-fascist parties disolved in Italy
1926 Lake Denmark, NJ arsenal explodes, kills 21, $75 M damage
1933 1st police radio system operated, Eastchester Township, NY 
1940 Battle of Britain began as Nazi forces attacked by air
1943 US & Britain invade Sicily in WW II 
1958 1st parking meter installed in England (625 installed) 
1962 Telstar, 1st geosynchronous communications satellite, launched 
1966 Orbiter 1 launched to Moon 
1973 Bahamas gain independence after 300 yrs of British rule (Nat'l Day) 
1981 CERN achieves 1st proton-antiproton beam collision (570 GeV) 
1985 Coca-Cola Co announces it will resume selling old formula Coke 
1985 French agents sink Greenpeace's Rainbow Warrior in New Zealand 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. --- Hubert H. Humphrey "We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home." --- Gene Perret
A pastor went into the pulpit one Sunday morning wearing a pair of new bifocals. The reading portion of the glasses improved his vision considerably, but whenever he looked through the top portion of the glasses he got dizzy. He explained to the congregation that the new glasses were causing problems, then said, "I hope you will excuse my continually removing my glasses. You see when I look down I can see fine, but when I look at you, it makes me sick."
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we can sell at a profit. Mrs Beasly, please wake up your husband!"
The UnLocker Have you ever accidentally elbowed a new password into Windows and locked yourself out? Not yet? Or has a family member accidentally done that? Or the cat on her stroll over the keyboard? That can get extremely expensive, if you don't have the UnLocker. The Unlocker will get you back in there in 30 seconds. No fuss, no panic. Take the fear out of "Not Yet" with the UnLocker.

A man's car breaks down right in front of a farm and he's trying to fix it when he hears a voice coming behind him, "You have water in the gas tank." The man turns around and all he sees is a cow from the farm. He goes back to his car and again the same voice says, "You have water in the gas tank." The man turns around again and he sees nothing and nobody except the cow, and the voice defintiely came from the cow, "You have water in the gas tank." The man is shocked so he knocks on the door of the farmer's house. When the farmer answers the door the man says, "The cow talked to me and said I had water in my gas tank. Can she talk?" The farmer replied, "Ignore her, that cow barely understands Diesel engines and doesn't have a clue about gas engines."
Thanks to Janina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Valerie Topete, 36, in Phoenix, AZ Mother fills toddler's cup with beer Valerie Marie Topete, a 36-year-old Phoenix resident was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly put beer in her 2-year-old son's sippy cup and allowed the toddler to drink up. According to the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office, officers were called to Peter Piper Pizza after a waitress reported that she saw Topete pour beer from a pitcher into a child's sippy cup, and the child drank from it. The mother then left the child alone at the table with the alcohol. When officers questioned Topete, she admitted to giving her son some beer because "he kept reaching for the pitcher." Topete initially denied that the child drank from the sippy cup but later agreed that the child "might have" consumed the alcohol. She was apprehended while the child was taken to a local hospital to be evaluated. The toddler was then released to his father who was elsewhere in the restaurant that day. Topete was booked into jail and charged with child abuse.
Tech Support Pits: From: Darla Re: Anti-Bonehed Awards Dear Webby, I love your newsletter but the Bonehead Awards are getting to be a bit much. Kinda hard to miss when scrolling thru the humor. Dear Darla Try Ophelia Dingbatter's News. Her jokes too are of a predominantly upbeat nature, albeit a bit raunchy at times. However, they are not negative or hateful or discriminatory. And she does not do Bonehead Awards. With the Humor letter, I have to keep the Bonehead awards. When I asked the subscribers a couple of months ago, whether to dump them or keep them, there was a huge storm of support in favor of keeping them. So, be a big spender, blow your heirs expected inheritance and spend $10 on a year of Ophelia Dingbatter's News.! Have FUN! DearWebby
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* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five. * Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed. * Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Audiobooks From The Library Listen to audiobooks! I get them for free from the public library and listen to them as I drive and when I go for my power walks. I "read" about 2-3 books weekly using this method. I have learned to speak Spanish and have learned a great deal about personal finances and investing, which I had no knowledge in. I also get magazines for free (old issues, of course) But they are all for free and I get ones that I would never subscribe to but really enjoy anyway. By George from Allentown, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The Ultimate Guide to a Delicious Back Yard BBQ In this 169 page ebook you’ll find everything you need to know about how to grill some of the most amazing, hard to find recipes from start to finish! Currently with Bonus books: Delicious Pizza Recipes: Over 179 World Famous Pizza Recipes Cooking Like a Chef : This is an amazing guide of 101 of the best tips and techniques for cooking like a real professional chef. 60 Day Guarantee! Ultimate Guide to a Delicious Back Yard BBQ

An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. "Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady. "Yes," he replied. "Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
This one is a classic. It is often told with names of countries or states subbed in instead of Engineers and Accountants. Three Engineers and three Accountants were traveling to a hockey game. The three Accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three Engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are the three people going to travel on only one ticket?", asks an Accountant. "Watch and you'll see," says an Engineer. They all board the train. The Accountants take their respective seats but all three Engineers cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket please!" The door opens a crack, a single hand emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Accountants see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game they decide to copy the Engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment the Engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Accountant. "Watch and you'll see," replies an Engineer. When they board the train the three Accountants cram into a bathroom and the three Engineers cram into another bathroom nearby. Once the train leaves the station, one of the Engineers leaves and walks over to the other bathroom where the Accountants are hiding, knocks on the door and calls out with an authoritative sounding voice: "Ticket please!"
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