Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, Aug 1

The Saskatoon berries are getting ripe gradually. It is a
good thing they ripen over a stretch of a few weeks and not
all of a sudden. The cold and wet spring produced Billions
of them, well, maybe not Billions, but a huge number of them.

The raspberries are ripening nicely too. The last few days I 
got one of the cute little containers for muffin papers filled
each day, plus of course a fair bit of snacking while I pick
them. Those muffin paper containers are just perfect for one
festive pancake topping.

I decided to do some mowing after sunset, but before I was 
finished, it got too cold for comfort. There was an icy blast 
coming down from the glaciers and rather than put a jacket
and a woollen cap on, I decided to postpone the rest of the 
mowing. 

Because of the summer heat and lack of rain after the 
middle of July the lawns stop growing anyway and slowly turn
brown, except for those of new residents, who have not seen
their water bills yet, nd who cheerfully water their lawns.

The town has plenty of water, and because the water table is 
only a few feet down, pumping is cheap. However, they use
the water meters to generate big income, so that they can
employ more relatives.

So most of the permanent residents simply don't water lawns.

We usually get some rain again in late September.
 Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1291 Everlasting League forms, Swiss Confederation
1619 1st black Americans (20) land at Jamestown, Virginia 
1774 Priestly discovers oxygen
1790 1st US census (population of 3,939,214) 
1794 Whiskey Rebellion begins 
1831 London Bridge opens
1834 Slavery abolished in British empire 
1869 1st voyage down Colorado River
1873 SF's 1st cable car begins service
1896 George Samuelson completes rowing the Atlantic 
1901 Burial within SF City limits prohibited 
1903 1st coast-to-coast automobile trip (SF-NY) completed 
1914 Germany declares war on Russia in WW I
1943 Race riot in Harlem NYC 
1953 Calif introduces sales tax
1960 Chubby Checker releases "The Twist"
1976 Liz Taylor's 6th divorce
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



"A slender acquaintance with the world must convince
every man that actions, not words, are the true criterion
of the attachment of friends."
--- George Washington
------------------
Women, however, need words and chocolate in
addition to mere actions.



A college professor asked his class a question. 
"If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 
1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles 
from Chicago, how old am I?" 

One student in the back of the class raised his hand and 
when called upon said, "Professor you're 44.." 

The Professor said, "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, 
how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" 

The student said, "You see professor, I have a brother; 
he's 22, and he's only half crazy." 



Jacob (87) and Rebecca (82) are all excited about their decision to get
married. They go for a stroll to discuss the  wedding and on the way go
past a super drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers "Yes".
Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, constipation,  and sleeping
  pills?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob turns to Rebecca: "Sweetheart, we might as
well register our wedding gift list with them."



A Tutorial On How To Create A Website Using Wordpress. 
Great Guide For Beginners!
If you have something to say, this guide tells you how to
do it without hiring help. Wordpress Starter Guide.





Click on the picture for the large version
Hartland, NB

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Lowell Turpin, 40, in Clinton, Tennessee
 Romney Photo Spurs Domestic Abuse Incident  

JULY 31--Suspicious that his live-in girlfriend was planning 
an affair, a Tennessee man confronted the woman after 
spotting a photo of an unknown guy on her Facebook page, 
according to a police report.

Lowell Turpin, 40, “angrily demanded to know who the male 
was,” reported Anderson County Sheriff’s Department 
investigators.

Crystal Gray, 38, “replied that it was a picture of Mitt Romney.”
Despite being informed that the man on Gray’s wall was the 
Republican presidential candidate (and not some hunky, severely 
conservative sidepiece), Turpin apparently was not placated. 
Gray said that he “became upset because she was attempting 
to communicate with friends through her Facebook account.”

In a subsequent tussle over the laptop, Gray’s hand was injured 
as she unsuccessfully tried to stop Turpin form smashing the 
computer against the wall. Gray told deputies that Turpin, 
pictured in the above mug shot, also punched her in the 
face during the encounter.

While denying that he assaulted Gray, the 310-pound Turpin 
gave probers “multiple contradictory accounts of the struggle 
over the laptop.” Turpin was charged with domestic assault in 
connection with the July 22 incident at the couple’s Clinton 
residence.

Turpin remains locked up in the Anderson County jail in lieu 
of $1000 bond.


 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits:
From: Eileen
Re: PDF file sizes

Dear Webby
We write our invoices in PDF format. Yes, I know, that is
stupid and klutzy and,..  don't get me going on that, or
I'll never stop! There is no reason for it, it's policy.

Anyway, instead of generating them automatically in
compact HTML format, they want me to shrink the file
sizes of the PDF files. Making self-extrating zip files
of them was a total failure. They get blocked by even
the most primitive spam controls and anti virus programs.

Can the PDF invoices be shrunk somehow, and if yes,
how do I do that ?
Eileen

Dear Eileen
I bet I could rant about PDF files as long as you can !
They are good for e-books, and not much else.

You, or your local "Friends of  PDF invoices", probably
figured that clients would waste paper and print the
invoices instead of just keeping the files that you
email them, and set the PDF output for "printable".
That provides nice printed color pictures, but is a total
waste of file size for invoices.

Reduce the logo to two or 16 color black and white,
and set the output to "viewable only", and "Black/White"
if your program allows that.

That way the file will be saved at 72 dots per inch,
insted of 300 dots per inch. That reduces the file
size to a quarter or even less.

It still prints quite nicely and legibly, more than good
enough for invoices.

We have used HTML invoices for over twenty years now, with
passworded on-line folders for each client. They can step
through them all the way back to their first one, and view
or print any of them that they want, whenever they want,
without ever having to dig through file cabinets.

Because they are HTML, they can copy paste from them,
or import them into spreadsheets like Quattro, Lotus or
Excel. With PDF they couldn't do any of that, because
PDF is just a dead picture and you can't copy numbers
or text off it..

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





Cindy dragged herself in to the doctor's office.
"Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood.
They bark all day and all night, and I can't get
a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered,
rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.
"Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a
dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."

"Great," Cindy answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give
it a shot."

A few weeks later Cindy returned, looking worse than ever.
"Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand how that could be", said the
doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest
pills on the market!"

"That may be true," answered Cindy wearily, "but I'm still
up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch
one, it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Reuse Cardboard From Tissue Box

Open up the glued end of an empty large tissue box so it is 
now flat. Trim off the logo area. You can use the plain 
white area if you wish. Trim off ends and save them. 
You can get three tiny gift tags...
READ MORE at ThriftyFun

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


The Ultimate Guide to a Delicious Back Yard BBQ
In this 169 page ebook you’ll find everything you 
need to know about how to grill some of the most 
amazing, hard to find recipes from start to finish!

Currently with Bonus books:
Delicious Pizza Recipes: Over 179 World Famous Pizza Recipes
Cooking Like a Chef: This is an amazing guide of 101 of the 
best tips and techniques for cooking like a real 
professional chef.
60 Day Money Back Guarantee!
Ultimate Guide to a Delicious Back Yard BBQ



Having just completed my training as the hospital's switch-   
board operator, I was reasonably confident that I knew all   
the codes for emergencies:   

Code Blue for cardiac arrest,  Code Red for fire, etc.   

My first night on the job alone, however, a nurse phoned and   
asked me to page a  "Code Brown, Room 214."   

I had no idea what that was.  I called the page, then   
searched frantically through my emergency manual, but I   
couldn't find any description of it anywhere.   

Stumped, I finally called the nurse back and asked her about  it.   

"Relax," laughed the nurse.   "Code Brown is what we page   
when a patient is discharged and leaves behind an unfinished   
box of chocolates!"   




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


 >From Lori
The local bookstore had this huge display with a sign advertising,
"Newly Translated From the Original French: 37 Mating Positions."
The book was already wrapped in plain brown wrapper and I 
just had to buy one.

Once safely at home and alone, I opened it and found that
I had just purchased an expensive book about chess.

» Freecycle

[ view entry ] ( 161 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 303 )

---

<<First <Back | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 | 82 | Next> Last>>

- Page Generated in 0.1469 seconds | Site Views: 9