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Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, September 4

The mails re my explosive diarrhea were quite, ahem, interesting.
Roland mentioned "we have diarrhea. as well and figure it 
must be stomach flue"
Hope he and Ruth feel better soon!

O'Sure claimed it was because I only looked at facts and not
popular opinion about Gullible Warming.

Manin suggested boiling the starch out of rice and drinking
the starchy water, A few suggested to restart the intestinal 
fauna with yoghurt and sauerkraut.

Some suggested it was a bout of lactose intoelrance, and one
even ventured to state that it was lactose intolerance caused
by bad karma acquired because of my life-long attraction to
boobs.

Well, I treated it like food poisoning, and after 16 hours 
of not eating or drinking anything, it was gone. 
Good Riddance!
I have been told once, this always happens before you die,
never afterwards. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
476 Romulus Augustulus, last Roman emperor in west, is deposed 
1609 Navigator Henry Hudson discovers island of Manhattan 
1618 "Rodi" avalanche destroys Plurs Switzerland, 1,500 killed 
1864 Bread riots in Mobile, Alabama 
1870 3rd French republic proclaimed as they overthrow their king
1888 George Eastman patents 1st roll-film camera & registers "Kodak" 
1918 US troops land in Archangel, Russia, stay 10 months 
1948 Queen Wilhelmina of Netherlands abdicates 
1957 Ford Motor Co introduces the Edsel 
1988 Mike Tyson crashes a silver BMW into a tree near Catskills NY 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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What luck for rulers that men do not think. --- Adolf Hitler The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. --- Frank Zappa One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. --- Rita Mae Brown The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything. --- Walter Bagehot
A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked. "Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children." "Is that a record?" the caller inquired, puzzled in her turn. "I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said " Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?", the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup" the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. The retiree replied, "Oh great! NOW you tell me!"
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Thanks to Dianne for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Joyce Coffey, 53, in Epping, New Hampshire Jailed 4 Times In 26 Hours For Repeatedly Blasting Stereo, Throwing Frying Pan At Nephew Joyce Coffey, a 53-year-old Effing woman was jailed 4 times in 26 hours after she allegedly refused to turn down her music, and assaulted her nephew with a frying pan. According to Epping police, officers responded to a noise complaint at Coffey's residence on Tuesday around 3:00 p.m. Officers gave Coffey a verbal warning and left the scene. About an hour later, police received another noise complaint after Coffey allegedly blasted "Highway To Hell" by ACDC through her stereo. When officers arrived at her house a second time, she refused to turn down her music and was apprehended on charges of disorderly conduct. She was released after posting $500 personal recognizance bail. Despite the arrest, officers were called to Coffey's residence again around 9:20 p.m. on a third noise complaint regarding the loud music. She was arrested again, and this time was released after posting $1,000 bail. She was instructed not to turn on her radio at all until 10:00 a.m. the next morning, and she agreed that she would try to keep the peace. Despite the agreement, police received yet another noise complaint about Coffey around 1:10 a.m. When an officer drove by the residence, he could hear ACDC's "Highway to Hell" playing very loudly. Coffey was arrested for a third time, and was released again after posting $10,000 bail. Officers hoped they would not see her again anytime soon, but they were called to her residence again, this time on a domestic disturbance complaint. When officers arrived on the scene, her 49-year-old nephew stated that she threw a frying pan at him while he was picking up some belongings from her home. Coffey was booked into jail for a fourth time on charges of simple assault and breach of bail conditions. She is currently being held in lieu of a $10,000 cash bail.
Tech Support Pits: From: Jan Re: Copyright Symbol Dear Webby, A dozen years or so ago you gave a list of symbols. I lost mine! I need the copyright. I thought it was Alt-Ctrl-C, but can't seem to get it to work. Anyway you could publish that list again? Thanks so much, Jan The copyright symbol is made by holding down ALT and typing 0169 with the numeric key pad. NUM-LOCK of has to be on. Here is a picture of the most common key codes: Common Key Codes The complete set is at http://webby.com/humor/char If you don't have a numeric keypad on the side of your keyboard, then you can copy the symbols from that page. If you lose thislink, just go to my Tool Box at http://webby.com/tools and scroll way down. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Old Credit Cards for Cleaning I use an old credit card to clean the algae off of the front of the aquarium. Also, I took a watercolor class where the instructor used an old credit card like a squeegee to move paint around. By wasshrunk from Redlands, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
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>From Chris Over the weekend I happened to catch a glimpse of some National Dog Show event as I flipped through the channels. The dog on the screen at the time was a white English sheepdog. It was simply a mound of fur with four legs. The judge was brushing back the dog's hair so she could look at the animal's eyes. The TV announcer was explaining that each dog has to have its eyes checked to make sure they're the right shape, color, etc., etc. Another announcer chimed in with, "Well, plus the judge has to see if the dog HAS both of its eyes. 'Cuz if you start combing through hair and you only see ONE eye . . . you're looking at the wrong end of the dog."
Three weeks after her wedding day, Maureen called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Bob: One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call." Annoyed, I let the hotel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6!", I complained. "What if I had a million-dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?" "Well, sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a million dollar deal to close, you probably wouldn't be staying in this motel!"
Summer Fruits


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