Humor: Diskette Error 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 18

>From Dr Bill
Re the Ass in the Well - similar tale I used when teaching 
History at Syracuse U. An apocryphal story:  
"Thales, the father of philosophy, postulating all matter 
as consisting of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water,  was getting 
along in years and his vision had gone bad.  One foggy 
night on Miletus, his donkey escaped.  

Grumbling, Thales threw on his grey philosopher's coat 
and went out into the mist calling for his donkey.  
A grey shape loomed before him and he dove at it - 
plunging himself accidentally into his well.  

Cold and Wet, he shouted until his Thracian maid found him 
and got him out - he returned shivering to his home,
blaspheming the Gods - 

This is a noteworthy event in History, in that it is the first 
recorded instance, though by no means the last, 
when a Philosopher didn't know 
his Ass from a hole in the ground."

Have FUN!

Today in 
1016 Danes defeat Saxons at Battle of Assandun (Ashingdon)
1648 1st US labor organization forms (Boston Shoemakers)
1685 Louis XIV revokes Edict of Nantes, outlaws Protestantism 
1767 Boundary between Md & Pa, the Mason Dixon line, agreed upon 
1867 US takes formal possession of Alaska from Russia ($7.2 million) 
1890 John Owen is 1st to run 100 yd dash in under 10 seconds
1898 American flag raised in Puerto Rico
1908 Belgium annexes Congo Free State 
1944 Soviet troops invade Czechoslovakia during WW II
1962 US launches Ranger 5 for lunar impact; misses Moon
1967 Soviet Venera 4 1st probe to send data back from Venus
1968 Police find 219 grams of cannabis resin in John & Yoko's apt
1979 "Beatlemania" opens in London
2012  smiled

Have FUN!

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Language is the source of misunderstandings. --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. --- Dandemis A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. --- Fats Domino
To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay. "Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. "Why do you ask?" The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired two years ago!"
At a posh dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about his home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, "And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children." As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, "You see, my wife is unbearable." Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify the matter: "What I mean is, my wife is inconceivable." As his companions seemed amused, he floundered deeper into the intricacies of the English language, explaining triumphantly, "That is, my wife, she is impregnable!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Brenda Crosdale, 49, Vero Beach, Florida Woman Locked Out Of Car Called 911, Claimed Infant Was Trapped Inside To Get Quicker Response Reported by The Smoking Gun Locked out of her car earlier this month, Brenda Crosdale, 49, called 911 and claimed that an infant was trapped in the vehicle. But when a sheriff’s deputy responded to a “priority one lockout” at Crosdale’s Florida home at around 9 AM on October 6, he “saw no child” inside vehicles parked in the driveway. When Deputy Michael Cavanaugh asked a male on scene about the whereabouts of the infant, the man replied, “Brenda only said that to get you guys here quicker. The deputy then questioned Crosdale inside her Vero Beach home, and “she stated she only said a child was inside her vehicle to get the vehicle open quicker,” according to an Indian River County Sheriff's Office report. Crosdale, a nurse, was then arrested for misuse of the 911 system. Pictured in the above mug shot, Crosdale was briefly booked into jail, where she was released after posting $500 bond on the misdemeanor count. The report did not say whether the deputy busted open the childless car, or made her call a locksmith.
Tech Support Pits :From: Diana Re: Diskette error Dear Webby All of a sudden when I turn on my computer in the morning, a message pops up saying diskette drive failure When I press F1 it starts up ok. I do not have a floppy disk. What is the message and how do I correct it? I know if anybody can answer me, you can. Thanks loads for your newsletter, Diana Dear Diana Sounds like your machine got infected with a really ancient virus. Run a GOOD virus scan, like McAfee, and after that reboot and look VERY carefully for a very brief message during boot-up, before you get color. It will tell you something like F12 for Bios Whatever it is, hit that immediately, before you get color. You may have to shut down and try again. Once you are in the BIOS, you can disable the Floppy drive, and set the boot-up priorities to D: (CD) USB C:\ That way, you can boot up, if necessary, with the Set-Up CD or a rescue set-up on a thumb drive. You can even have a Penguin (Linux fanatic) put "Baby Linux" onto a camera chip and boot up into Linux to salvage data, if Windows gets totally trashed by some virus. It will look for those first, and if those are not there, then it will go for the C: drive. If you try to save 2 seconds of boot-up time and put C: first, the rescue drives are not in the queue. If you have trouble reading that grey on black message, get some kid to watch it. A lot of adults have trouble reading it. Once you got it and know which key to hit to get into the bios, you can put a dot of nail polish onto that F key. A lot of machines even have a setting in the Bios, where you can tell it how long to display that message. Smart-ass kids often shorten that time to 1 or zero, and brag about having tuned the machine to start up 3 seconds faster. If you have a crimson dot on F12 or whatever it is for your machine, that is no problem. In summary: Take A: and B: out of the start-up drive list, and if USB is in the list, make sure something is plugged into the USB port. A camera chip reader works fine. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Use Your Leaves As Winter Mulch Have you mulched your leaves yet? After spending years raking up those fall leaves, I got pretty tired of having a second set of leaves fall from the Oak trees. I decided to make short work of the job by using my mulch mower and ran the mower over the leaves, which mulched them all and enriched my lawn happily at the same time. The lawn may not be as neat and tidy, but it sure will be happy having all that extra fertilizer on it, and it will be even happier next spring, and so too will you! Go mulch those leaves! Source: Gardeners around the globe By Kghornsten from Davis, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
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5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

>From Ed Our church was planning a chili supper for the homeless, and my wife, Florence, agreed to prepare four gallons of her rather mild variation. The man in charge of organizing the program asked Florence how she would describe her chili -- three alarm or four alarm. After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other chili donations, my wife replied, "I guess you'd call mine false alarm."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs." The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?" The girl said, "I don't know. I don't eat cats."
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