Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 25

Thanks, Miriam!

Sorry about the late delivery. Telus, the ISP, had a major
malfunction. With the phone on speaker, I listened for 
hours to their crappy elevator music and: 
"Pwease continue to houd foa the nepst avaiwable tservif
repwesentative."

Considering the length of time on hold, their problem must
be awefully wide spread. 
Finally got through to "the nepst avaiwable tservif
repwesentative". They do have a major station f***-up
and it may take a few days to get stuff replaced. 
Crawling onto the server with Dial-Up now.


>From Papa Hank
My Dear Webby,
Do you have to remind us in Syracuse, NY about the white 
stuff that's coming!! Fortunately Your humor is great enough 
to overcome the trama of future falling snow.
I especially liked the comment on James K. Lowery, The 
peeping tom.I'd great to hear that he was "tenderized"
Keep the humor coming.
Papa Hank

Dear Papa Hank
You don't have to worry about that.
Remember, YOU got Gullible Warming, 
plus all the hot air from Washington.
If you get any snow at all, complain to Al Gore.

By the way, if you DO happen to have a bit of CO2 to spare,
send it up to us, please! Our farms and forests desperately 
need it. We call it vegetation fuel. 

That is why I drive a 1991 Chrysler LeBaron muscle car.

I got out of my driveway OK today. I pulled ahead in the 
garage as far as I could, fanned the gas to get the turbo
up to speed, then slammed it into reverse and stomped the 
gas. As I was laying rubber from squealing tires, I hit the 
garage door remote and kept the foot down on the gas.

I hit the snow  drift going about 40 in reverse and plowed
right through it. Once through it, I hit the brake, turned 
the steering wheel and skidded onto the hard-packed snow
on the road. I wound up against the sidewalk on the other 
side, but not on it. From there on everything was easy.
Have FUN!
Dear Webby


Donald Trump's laughable $5 million offer today to charity, 
IF President Barak Hussein Obama can produce a 
believable birth certificate and college record, can't change 
the fact that the purported billionaire is one incredibly 
cheap bastard:
Details at The Smoking Gun
Obviously Obama can't produce those records, so Trump
can keep the money and does not have to donate it to charity.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1415 Battle of Agincourt, Welsh longbow defeats the armored knight 
1854 The Light Brigade charges (Battle of Balaklava, Crimean War) 
1918 Canadian steamship "Princess Sophia" hit a reef off 
  Alaska, 398 die
1944 Japanese navy defeated at battle of Leyte Gulf
1945 Japanese surrender Taiwan to Gen Chiang Kai-shek
1960 1st electronic wrist watch placed on sale, NYC
1975 USSR's Venera 10 makes day-side Venus landing 
1983 US invades Grenada, a country 1/2,000 its population (US Wins!) 
1985 Kosmos 1700 communications satellite placed in geostationary orbit
1986 International Red Cross ousted from South Africa
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
--- Dorothy Parker



A woman calls the town psychiatrist and cries,
"Doctor, you've got to come as soon as possible.
My husband is in really bad shape!"

The shrink rushes over.

The worried wife says, "Thank God you are here, doctor.
Just go down the hall. He's in the last room on the right."

The shrink goes in the room and sees the woman's husband
sitting on the edge of the bathtub, dangling a fishline in
the toilet.

He goes back to the wife and says, "Yes, this is very
serious. But why didn't you call me sooner?"

"Who has time?" the wife asks. "I've been cleaning fish
all week."



The judged looked at the docket and said, "Good God, man!
You're charged with marrying six women. How could you do
such a thing?"

"Hey, judge, gimme a break," the man replied.
"I was only trying to find one good one."


Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet
If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days 
with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, 
create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have 
a much easier time incorporating healthy and delicious 
foods into your diet, then this will be the most important 
message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!


Thanks to Mike in Indiana for this picture:


Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

David Lee, 44, Jacksonville, Florida

Jailed After Stealing Plastic Flowers From Grave 
Site, That He Planned To Give To His Girlfriend

Reported by The Weekly Vice
David Lee, a 44-year-old Jacksonville man was jailed Sunday 
after he allegedly stole flowers from a grave site that he 
planned to give to his girlfriend.

According to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, a deputy 
stopped Lee shortly after 6:00 p.m. as he was walking out 
of the Evergreen Cemetery. He was carrying three plastic 
flower bouquets, with fresh soil falling from the bottom of 
them. He also appeared to be intoxicated.

Investigators say when the officer asked Lee where he got 
the fake flowers, he admitted that they were planted next to 
a tombstone, but he dug them up. He told the officer that he 
was planning on giving the flowers to his alleged girlfriend, 
and that he did not know the deceased person from which 
he stole the flowers.

Lee was booked into the Duval County Jail and charged with 
a felony count of injuring or removing plants from a 
gravestone, monument, or tomb.



Tech Support Pits
From: Honor
Re: Do Not Call registry

Dear Webby,
Do  you happen to have among your famous facts, the
information I need to get on the 'don't call, don't email'
list?  I've moved fairly recently and haven't gotten signed
up for that on my new numbers and addresses.  I hope
it isn't too late to do this!

I always read your tips...don't always understand them...
but some I just print off for future reference, like after
I'm smarter!
Thanks for all you do for your subscribers!
Honor

Dear Honor
The DO-NOT-CALL registry is at
https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

There is no Do-NOT-EMAIL registry.

Just use MailWasher from the side of the Humor Letter,
and nuke the mail from the bastids, like most of us do.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Nail Brushes for Cleaning Small Spaces

I rarely use a nail brush to clean under my nails, as I use 
the end of a nail file, so I have a small collection of nail 
brushes I've saved from gift sets (frugal people save 
anything they think they will eventually find a use for). 
I keep a couple of them by the sink in the laundry 
room and have found they are great for scrubbing 
small spaces - a little larger than an old toothbrush and 
smaller than a traditional scrub brush. They have 
come in handy time and time again.

By Marie from West Dundee, IL 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes! 
Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently 
vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a
cashier and was down to two final applicants -- one
of which would get the job.

The first one interviewed was from a small college in
upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid.

Then he called for the second man,  "Jim Johnson!" Up
stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of
himself. "He looks like he can take care of any
situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and
then, to hire him.

He turned to the first applicant and told him he could
go and they would let him know.

Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way
you carry yourself -- that's an important asset for the
job as cashier.  However, you must be precise. I noticed
you did not fill out the place on the application where
we asked your formal education."

Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where
did you get your financial education?"

"Oh," replied Jim -- "Yale."

"That's very good ... excellent. You're hired!"

"Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be
called?"

Jim answered "I don't care... Yim... or Mr. Yonson."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ ea.--three   
for a dollar."   

All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be   
ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"   

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants.   
The tailor next door had been watching these antics and   
finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the   
mistake on your sign?"   

"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign   
no one ever bought more than one eggplant."   

» Chupacabra, Myth, Mystery or Misery



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