Do-Not-Call Registry 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 25

Thanks, Miriam!

Sorry about the late delivery. Telus, the ISP, had a major
malfunction. With the phone on speaker, I listened for 
hours to their crappy elevator music and: 
"Pwease continue to houd foa the nepst avaiwable tservif
repwesentative."

Considering the length of time on hold, their problem must
be awefully wide spread. 
Finally got through to "the nepst avaiwable tservif
repwesentative". They do have a major station f***-up
and it may take a few days to get stuff replaced. 
Crawling onto the server with Dial-Up now.


>From Papa Hank
My Dear Webby,
Do you have to remind us in Syracuse, NY about the white 
stuff that's coming!! Fortunately Your humor is great enough 
to overcome the trama of future falling snow.
I especially liked the comment on James K. Lowery, The 
peeping tom.I'd great to hear that he was "tenderized"
Keep the humor coming.
Papa Hank

Dear Papa Hank
You don't have to worry about that.
Remember, YOU got Gullible Warming, 
plus all the hot air from Washington.
If you get any snow at all, complain to Al Gore.

By the way, if you DO happen to have a bit of CO2 to spare,
send it up to us, please! Our farms and forests desperately 
need it. We call it vegetation fuel. 

That is why I drive a 1991 Chrysler LeBaron muscle car.

I got out of my driveway OK today. I pulled ahead in the 
garage as far as I could, fanned the gas to get the turbo
up to speed, then slammed it into reverse and stomped the 
gas. As I was laying rubber from squealing tires, I hit the 
garage door remote and kept the foot down on the gas.

I hit the snow  drift going about 40 in reverse and plowed
right through it. Once through it, I hit the brake, turned 
the steering wheel and skidded onto the hard-packed snow
on the road. I wound up against the sidewalk on the other 
side, but not on it. From there on everything was easy.
Have FUN!
Dear Webby


Donald Trump's laughable $5 million offer today to charity, 
IF President Barak Hussein Obama can produce a 
believable birth certificate and college record, can't change 
the fact that the purported billionaire is one incredibly 
cheap bastard:
Details at The Smoking Gun
Obviously Obama can't produce those records, so Trump
can keep the money and does not have to donate it to charity.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1415 Battle of Agincourt, Welsh longbow defeats the armored knight 
1854 The Light Brigade charges (Battle of Balaklava, Crimean War) 
1918 Canadian steamship "Princess Sophia" hit a reef off 
  Alaska, 398 die
1944 Japanese navy defeated at battle of Leyte Gulf
1945 Japanese surrender Taiwan to Gen Chiang Kai-shek
1960 1st electronic wrist watch placed on sale, NYC
1975 USSR's Venera 10 makes day-side Venus landing 
1983 US invades Grenada, a country 1/2,000 its population (US Wins!) 
1985 Kosmos 1700 communications satellite placed in geostationary orbit
1986 International Red Cross ousted from South Africa
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. --- Dorothy Parker
A woman calls the town psychiatrist and cries, "Doctor, you've got to come as soon as possible. My husband is in really bad shape!" The shrink rushes over. The worried wife says, "Thank God you are here, doctor. Just go down the hall. He's in the last room on the right." The shrink goes in the room and sees the woman's husband sitting on the edge of the bathtub, dangling a fishline in the toilet. He goes back to the wife and says, "Yes, this is very serious. But why didn't you call me sooner?" "Who has time?" the wife asks. "I've been cleaning fish all week."
The judged looked at the docket and said, "Good God, man! You're charged with marrying six women. How could you do such a thing?" "Hey, judge, gimme a break," the man replied. "I was only trying to find one good one."
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time incorporating healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Thanks to Mike in Indiana for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to David Lee, 44, Jacksonville, Florida Jailed After Stealing Plastic Flowers From Grave Site, That He Planned To Give To His Girlfriend Reported by The Weekly Vice David Lee, a 44-year-old Jacksonville man was jailed Sunday after he allegedly stole flowers from a grave site that he planned to give to his girlfriend. According to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, a deputy stopped Lee shortly after 6:00 p.m. as he was walking out of the Evergreen Cemetery. He was carrying three plastic flower bouquets, with fresh soil falling from the bottom of them. He also appeared to be intoxicated. Investigators say when the officer asked Lee where he got the fake flowers, he admitted that they were planted next to a tombstone, but he dug them up. He told the officer that he was planning on giving the flowers to his alleged girlfriend, and that he did not know the deceased person from which he stole the flowers. Lee was booked into the Duval County Jail and charged with a felony count of injuring or removing plants from a gravestone, monument, or tomb.
Tech Support Pits From: Honor Re: Do Not Call registry Dear Webby, Do you happen to have among your famous facts, the information I need to get on the 'don't call, don't email' list? I've moved fairly recently and haven't gotten signed up for that on my new numbers and addresses. I hope it isn't too late to do this! I always read your tips...don't always understand them... but some I just print off for future reference, like after I'm smarter! Thanks for all you do for your subscribers! Honor Dear Honor The DO-NOT-CALL registry is at https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx There is no Do-NOT-EMAIL registry. Just use MailWasher from the side of the Humor Letter, and nuke the mail from the bastids, like most of us do. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Nail Brushes for Cleaning Small Spaces I rarely use a nail brush to clean under my nails, as I use the end of a nail file, so I have a small collection of nail brushes I've saved from gift sets (frugal people save anything they think they will eventually find a use for). I keep a couple of them by the sink in the laundry room and have found they are great for scrubbing small spaces - a little larger than an old toothbrush and smaller than a traditional scrub brush. They have come in handy time and time again. By Marie from West Dundee, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants -- one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know. Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself -- that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?" "Oh," replied Jim -- "Yale." "That's very good ... excellent. You're hired!" "Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care... Yim... or Mr. Yonson."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25 ea.--three for a dollar." All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!" Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?" "What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."
Chupacabra, Myth, Mystery or Misery


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