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Today is Saturday, November 3

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Have FUN!
Dear Webby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." --- Benjamin Franklin "A market is never saturated with a good product, but it is very quickly saturated with a bad one." --- Henry Ford
Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees." Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service." RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??" G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs." RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?" G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine." RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?" G: "What?" RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?" G: "I don't think so." RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??" G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means." RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?" G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine." RS: "We bodder?" G: "No...just put the bodder on the side." RS: "Wad?" G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side." RS: "Copy?" G: "Excuse me?" RS: "Copy...tea...meel?" G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all." RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??" G: "Whatever you say." RS: "Tendjewberrymuds." G: "You're very welcome."
A chubby young woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seat in economy and then looks into the forward cabin at the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in economy. Chubby replies "I'm young and beautiful and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York." Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in economy. Again she replies "I'm young and beautiful and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York." The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the problem with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a girlfriend like that and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something in her ear. She immediately gets up, says "thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot and rushes back to her seat in the economy section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he said to the woman. He replies "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to New York."
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time using healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

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Yes, I know, YOU never fart, but is there somebody you know, who would benefit from this eBook? Cure Flatulence
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Joshua Stuart, 24 and Gregory Lampert, 26 in Bartok, Florida Verizon Employee Stole Woman's Naked Photos Reported by The Smoking Gun Bartow cops say Joshua Stuart, 24, who works at a cellphone store took personal nude pics from a customer's phone while transferring her data to a new device. Stuart then shared the pics with a co-worker, Gregory Lampert, 26. The duo then showed the racy photos to a customer who recognized the woman even without any clothes on, and then contacted her. The woman went to the police, who confiscated their cell phones and a computer, and arrested one and put out an arrest warrant for the other. Some judge is going to throw the book at them.
Tech Support Pits From: Regina Re: Internet radio Dear Webby You have occasionally mentioned using Internet radio. I have tried a few of them, but am not impressed. Some of them have as many comercials as the local radio stations, and are quite limited in their music selections. Which one do you use, and how much does it cost? Regina Dear Regina I use Accu Radio from They have a huge selection of channels, andyou can "ban" artists. For example, I dion't like screechers for background music while I am working, so I ban those. There are plenty of other artists. Accuradio has visual ads, but they are no problem if you got their screen running in the back, covered up by the spreadsheet or word processor, where you work. You can even browse with other browser windows open, or minimize the one with Accuradio to an icon on the task bar. It has it's own volume control, that does not affect the overall volume control. For example, I have Accuradio set as fairly quiet background music, but have the little pop-up Alarm set for maximum. Accuradio gets along fine with Skype. When a voice or video call comes in, it fades to a barely noticeable whisper, and gives full volume to Skype. There is no cost. Accuradio has always been free. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Make Brillo Pad Last Longer To prevent a Brillo pad from getting rusty, rinse after use then shake out all of the excess water. Make sure no more water comes out when you shake it. I even hit the pad against the sink wall a few times. The pad will last so much longer! By FI1969 from Catonsville, MD Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping mall. I noticed another man driving very slowly in the same direction, and, since he was closer, I gave him the "Are you going to park there?" look. His responding gestures were very cofusing. First he shook his head. Next he pointed at me, then at the parking space and then at himself, his watch and the mall. Finishing off, he frowned, raised his palms upward and shrugged. Once I parked, I walked over to the driver to make sure he didn't want the space. "You must be single," he replied. "If you were married, you would've known that was the universal sign for 'Go ahead and take the spot. I'm waiting for my wife.'"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm ! wearing it," she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went! shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding! And I'll be there early."
Dallas Arboretum

Today in 
1394 Jews are expelled from France by Charles VI 
1679 Great panic occurs in Europe over the close approach of a comet 
1762 Spain acquires Louisiana 
1839 1st opium war-2 British frigates engage several Chinese junks 
1885 Tacoma vigilantes drive out Chinese, burn their homes
1918 Austro-Hungarian Empire dissolves
1918 Poland proclaims independence from Russia after WW I  
1927 Tropical storm flooding kills 84 in Winooski River Valley (Vt) 
1930 1st vehicular tunnel to a foreign country (Detroit-Windsor)
1931 1st commercially produced synthetic rubber manufactured 
1948 Truman beats Dewey, confounding pollsters & newspapers
1955 1st virus crystallized (announced) 
1957 USSR launches Sputnik 2 with a dog (Laika)
1973 Mariner 10 launched-1st Venus pics, 1st mission to Mercury 
1979 63 Americans taken hostage at US Embassy (Teheran, Iran) 
1984 3,000 die in 3 day anti-Sikh riot in India 
1986 Lebanese magazine Ash Shirra reveals secret US arms 
    sales to Iran 
1988 Reagan signs credit-card disclosure-bill
1988 Soviet Union agrees to allow teaching of Hebrew 
2012  smiled

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