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Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, November 20

Thank you, John M!

Got blood, urine and EKG test done. 
Today is the big Annual at the doctor, where he pokes and 
prods and knocks and does mysterious things for half an 
hour, and hems and haws and makes surprised and 
concerned sounds and usually tries to talk me into getting 
a flu shot. No, thank you. I don't think I would like the
new and improved flu. I have refused to have he shots
and the flu for twenty years, and will continue to refuse

Have FUN!

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Remember: "...that whoever is not a liberal when young has no heart, whoever is not a conservative when middle-aged has no brain, and whoever is still either a liberal or a conservative at age seventy-eight has no sense of humor." --- Herbert Stein
Man: "My wife has the worst memory I ever heard of." Friend: "Forgets everything, eh?" Man: "No, remembers everything."
During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months. As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt he asked me what my husband did. When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said, "This might hurt a little more than I thought."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Trunk-monkey and victim Jonathon Salas, 29, and Leidy Amu, 19 Jailed After Speeding Down Highway With Girlfriend Clinging To To Car's Hood Jonathon Salas, of Gwinnett County Georgia, was arrested Tuesday after he allegedly sped down a highway at 80 miles per hour with his girlfriend clinging to the hood of his car. According to Gwinnett County Police, the horrifying experience began when Salas and his girlfriend got into an altercation at his apartment. Salas had to leave to pick up his daughter from preschool, but his girlfriend, 19-year-old Leidy Amu did not want him to go. One witness stated that she physically attacked him and the witness, and when Salas got into his Jeep to leave, Amu reportedly climbed onto the hood of the Jeep, hoping it would stop him from driving off. Apparently it didn't. Salas stopped at the apartment complex gate and various times at Stop signs on side streets, but Amu refused to get off. With the flat and level hood f the Jeep and a roof rack to hold on to, she was comfortable and in no danger of falling off, and continued to harangue and cuss him. She seemed to quite enjoy making a scene. Salas eventually went onto Interstate 85, while the woman beat on the vehicle's windshield, yelling and screaming at him. Some motorists became aware of the ordeal and boxed Salas in with their vehicles. They then gradually slowed their vehicles down, forcing Salas to slow to a stop. Police arrived shortly afterward and managed to get her to climb down. During an interview at a local radio station, Amu admitted causing the confrontation, stating that she provoked the fight. She admitted, that she had plenty of opportunities to get off the hood when he stopped various timnes and told her to get off, but that she refused. She then defended the victim by stating "We all make mistakes." Salas was booked into the Gwinnett County Jail and charged with aggravated assault, reckless conduct and simple battery. Amu, who caused the incident, was not charged. Hopefully next time the trunk monkey goes nuts, he calls 911 himself, before everybody else calls them on him.
Tech Support Pits From: Jay Re: Offline content Dear Webby, When I delete my temporary internet files I check off the "Delete all offline content" too, then I delete my Cookies and then History. Now I am asked why do I delete offline content , to which I say, I just do. Am I doing it right? Also when cookies are deleted everyday, does it screw up banking online? I do not bank online but am hesitant in telling others to delete their cookies like I do. I really appreciate your input, or should I say expertise. Thank you, Jay Dear Jay Offline content is stuff you get when when you save a site for off-line viewing. For example, some people save some of the Bonus Link sites for off-line viewing at a later date, without having to go online again for that. Especially with slow loading picture archives that makes for much esier viewing. However, there is no point downloading it for that, if you delete it. Cookies and History are best excluded from the cleaning. The cookies you need mainly for shopping and banking, the history you need to find stuff again. They don't take much space, so just leave them, unless you want to make sure your spouse does not find out where you have been. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A kindergarten teacher asked, "What is the shape of the earth?" One lil' girl spoke up: "According to my Daddy -- terrible!" I guess you can get too health conscious... The wife and I don't have a lot of "junk food" in the house. Upon eating a snack of some munchies or other my Grandson asked what vitamins they had in them. I told him I doubted there were any at all. He replied wide-eyed, "You mean these are just for fun?"
Daily tip from Keeping Track Of Christmas Purchases Year Round I shop year round for Christmas gifts. Many a time, I have forgotten where I put the items by the time the holiday arrived. I now have a foolproof tip. Every time I purchase an item, I flip my calendar over to October and I make a note of what I bought, who the item is for, and, mostly importantly, I make a note of where the item is stored. Now when October rolls around and early Christmas wrapping begins, I just go to October and there are my Christmas items listed and where they are stored. Saves me a lot of time and tears of trying to find where I "hid" a gift. So easy to keep a record of it and I'm not trying to keep up with a notebook or piece of paper either. By Marsha from Greenville, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
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A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "115," she says. The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight is 140. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "5 foot 8," she says. The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5". She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high. "Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Ilya Groan Alert I was shopping with my roommate, and I saw a humorous button that said, "It might look like I'm doing nothing, but on a cellular level, I'm quite busy." I showed it to her, and her response was, "Oh, I should buy that one, I'm always talking on mine."
Turned Wood

Today in 
1272 Edward I proclaimed King of Englan
1637 Peter Minuit & 1st Swedish immigrants to Delaware 
   sail from Sweden
1780 Britain declares war on Holland
1829 Jews are expelled from Russia's Nikolayev & Sevastopol 
1888 William Bundy patents the timecard clock 
1910 Revolution broke out in Mexico
1914 US State Department starts requiring photos for passports
1917 Ukrainian Republic declared 
1931 Commercial teletype service begins
1938 1st documented anti-Semitic remarks over US radio
1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth, marries Duke Philip Mountbatten 
1962 US lifts blockade of Cuba
1969 Pele scores his 1,000th soccer goal
2012  smiled

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