Save My Tabs not recording 

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Today is Thursday, November 22

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Happy Thanksgiving Day!

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There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget. --- Michael McShane If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? --- Laurence J. Peter ----------------- I saw a clean desk at Ikea, once!
In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files. The doctor came out and motioned for Patty to come in for her questioning. When Patty came into the office she was instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor. "Patty, you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine you know why you are here. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go. Do you understand all that you have been told?" said the doctor with a rather sly grin. Patty nodded, and the doctor began to question her. The first question was this. "Patty, if I was to poke out one of your eyes, what would happen?" "I would be half blind of course," Patty answered without much thought. "What would happen if I poked out the other eye?" "I would be completely blind," said Patty knowing that she had just gotten her freedom. The doctor then sent her outside while he drew up the paperwork and accessed Mike's files. When Patty got into the waiting room however, she told Mike what the questions would be and what the correct answers were. The doctor calls in Mike and he followed the same procedure that he had with Patty. "Mike, the first question is what would happen if I cut off your ear?" "I would be blind in one eye," he said remembering what he had been told. This received a perplexed look from the doctor but he just simply asks the other question so that he could figure out what the man was thinking. "Mike, what would happen if I cut off your other ear?" "I would be completely blind," he answered with a smile as if he knew he had passed. But then the doctor asked him what his reasoning was, and he said flatly, "Me hat would fall down over me eyes."
Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of "hickory-smoked possum jowls in pancake syrup." They summoned a waiter to complain. Their waiter looked at the menu. Then he threw it down and yelled to the owner in the kitchen, "Hey, the printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Tyler Marshall, 20 and Brittany Siler, 19 in Manatee County, Florida Busted For Battering Ex-Girlfriend After She Gave Assessment Of His Penis A Florida man is facing a domestic battery count after he allegedly slapped and bit his girlfriend after she told him, post breakup, “Your penis is small.” Tyler Marshall, 20, was arrested yesterday and charged with a felony in connection with the confrontation last week with Brittany Siler, 19. Marshall is locked up in the Manatee County jail. According to a probable cause affidavit, Siler told sheriff’s deputies that she had been living with Marshall, but that they were evicted “because of their arguments.” Soon thereafter, Siler reported, Marshall broke up with her. Siler “stated that [Marshall] was being verbally abusive to her,” so she told him, “Your penis is small.” Her ex allegedly responded to that cutting assessment by slapping Siler’s face and biting the tip of her nose. Court records show that Siler (seen here) and Marshall have both been arrested for battery during the past year.
Tech Support Pits From: Nate Re: Save My Tabs not recording Dear Webby, I used to use that Save My Tabs add-on to record all open tabs, no matter how badly Windows crashed. That worked finr for a few years, but When Windows 7 did that Phantom Drive BS, it stopped working. How do I get it going again? Nate Dear Nate In your browser, click on Tools, Addons highlight "Save My Tabs", click on Options and set the destination drive to what it happens to be nowadays. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Lorne comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore . . ." Lorne sighs and says, "It's started . . "
Daily tip from Keeping Roast Poultry Moist To keep the breast of roast fowl from drying out while the legs cook, cover the white meat with cloth dipped in oil after the first hour in the oven. By Monica from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
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Some new Church Bulletin Board Bloopers * Several members who have been in the hospital are not on their way to recovery, for which we are thankful. * The Jack and Kill Daycare is looking for someone to help part time on Saturdays. * Our Wednesday Night Family Cafeteria meal will feature a variety of Chinese dishes including One Ton Soup. * Events: December 9th, Christmas Caroling at the Parkview Nursing Home 7:00 p.m., December 10th, Breakfast with Satan 6:00 to 9:00 a.m. in the Fellowship Hall. * Saturday the Youth Group will Serenade a number of our Seniors with Christmas Thongs. * Last Saturday the Men's Group had a great fellowship that included good conversation and delicious coffee. Special thanks to Kate Michels for providing teats. * The Youth Group had a scavenger hunt, did face painting, and played a game called, "Find the gun." They had a great time. * The Pastor's Corner: A Personal Massage from Jesus. * Don't forget to make some New Year's Resolutions. It's a great way to start off with a new ear. * Due to Construction on the North side of the parking lot, we will soon be changing entrances. Please exit the new driveway which is the one in between the old entrance and the old exit. Please exit from the new exit which is the old entrance. * What are you doing for Lunch Tuesday? Local Funeral Director Barry Gilbert will talk about the benefits of cremation. * The Riegieman Chiropractic Center will host Kid's Day this Saturday. They'll be treating the youth group to spinal exams, backpack checks, I.D. Cards, etc.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An elderly gentleman was reading his recovery-room record at the hospital where I work. He looked quite concerned at one notation. "I know I was in a bit of a muddle, but I didn't realize I was that bad," he said to me apologetically. "I hope I didn't offend anyone." He was greatly relieved when I explained the acronym in question meant "Short Of Breath" and not what he thought.
» Bolivia

Today in 
1809 Peregrine Williamson of Baltimore patents a steel pen 
1842 Mount St Helens in Washington, erupts 
1910 Arthur Knight patents steel shaft golf clubs
1932 Gas Pump patented that computes quantity delivered & price 
1963 Beatles release their 2nd album "With the Beatles" in the UK
1967 BBC unofficially bans "I am the Walrus" by the Beatles 
1975 Juan Carlos proclaimed king of Spain
1977 Regular Concorde passenger service begins 
1980 Georgia tanker at Pilottown La, spills 1.3 million gallons of oil 
   after an anchor chain caused a ship to leak 
1990 George Bush visits US troops in Saudi Arabia during 
2012  smiled

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