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Today is Saturday, December 15 Thank you, John B. ! I am as shocked and saddened about the Connecticot school massacre, but since I don'thave any more news about it than you do, I am not going to jump to conclusions and comment about it. There are enough others already busy doing that. Still Hanukhah! Time to panic about putting up the Christmas lights. One more day to untangle them. This is getting serious! Well, I got the X-10 plug and remote control ready. Have FUN! DearWebby
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I've gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her. --- New York City detective Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. --- George Eliot
Jill reported for her university final exam which consisted of "true/false" type questions. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper for five minutes. In a fit of inspiration, she took her purse out, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she was all done, whereas the rest of the class was still working furiously. During the last few minutes, she was seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approached her and asked what is going on. "I finished the exam in a half hour," she said. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."
Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went on to extol the virtues of a good haircut, which, he insisted, makes an elderly man look younger and a younger man seem more mature. "How would a haircut make a middle-aged man like me appear?" I asked. "Still employed," he answered.
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Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Sara Ball, 29, Boise, Idaho Jailed After Abandoning Baby In The Middle Of The Night, Refusing To Come Get Baby The Next Day Reported by The Weekly Vice Sara Ball, a 29-year-old Boise woman was jailed Monday after she allegedly took her baby to the home of an acquaintance, then abandoned the child there. According to Boise Police, officers were called to a residence on December 2nd after Ball took her infant son to the home of an acquaintance to spend the night, but ended up deserting the child instead. Investigators say Ball snuck out of the house sometime during the night and was gone the next morning. She also left the child without food or diapers. When the acquaintance called Ball the next day, Ball refused to come get her child or drop off provisions for the child. She later contacted her parole officer and turned herself in when she learned that police were looking for her. The child was declared to be in imminent danger and was placed into the custody of the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare. Ball was booked into jail and charged with felony desertion of nonsupport a child. Since she had been on parole and had been expeted to be on good behavior, she won't get bail.
Tech Support Pits From: Allice Re: Chrome browser Dear Webby At work I have a really lousy monitor with very coarse resoluton, that I am not allowed to change. A friend suggested I use the Chroome browser, because it has less stuff at the top taking up space. How good is that brwser? Allice Dear Allice The Google Chrome browser is good and reliable. If you never use any of the "stuff at the top" of FireFox, then by all means switch to Chrome. It is like an all chrome Chopper motorcycle, wit all unnecessary stuff chopped and just the bare essential left, but those chromed and polished. Especially for work purposes for daily checking rates or quotes on the same sites, it works very well. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Make Funnel From Envelope Corner A corner cut from an envelope and pierced at the point makes a good funnel for filling salt and pepper shakers. By JodiT from Aurora, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
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Engineering classes at the University of Maryland are tough, and struggling students sometimes go to extremes in order to pass. Grading exams one semester, I got to this question: "What is the relationship between kinetic and potential energy?" One student, obviously stumped, decided to get clever and wrote, "As far as I know, they're just friends, but there could be something else going on there."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood, and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He was tired and needing a rest, so he told them to please leave him alone. However, it was clear that he wasn't going to get any sleep until he satisfied their curiosity. "OK!" he said with exasperation, "follow me," and he flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats following close behind him. Down through the valley they went, across the river and into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly gathered around him. "Do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"
» Calorie Free Chocolates

Today in 
1488 Bartholomeus Diaz returns to Portugal after sailing 
   round Cape of Good Hope 
1593 State of Holland grants patent on windmill with crankshaft 
1612 Simon Marius, is 1st to observe Andromeda galaxy 
   through a telescope 
1664 English colonizing Connecticut
1820 1st general pharmacopoeia in US published, Boston 
1854 1st street-cleaning machine in US 1st used in Philadelphia 
1877 Thomas Edison patents phonograph 
1891 James Naismith invents basketball (Canada) 
1914 Battle of Lódz ends; Russians retreat toward Moscow
1914 British fleet forfeits chance to destroy German fleet
1914 Swedish troops over run Belgrade in Austria-Hungary
1916 French defeat Germans in WWI Battle of Verdun 
1939 1st commercial manufacture of nylon yarn, Seaford DE 
1939 World premiere of "Gone With The Wind" in Atlanta GA 
1941 USS Swordfish becomes 1st US sub to sink a Japanese ship
1964 Canada adopts maple leaf flag 
1964 1st time 4 people in space
1965 Gemini 6 launched; makes 1st rendezvous in space 
  (with Gemini 7) 
1967 Beatles release "Christmas Time is Here Again" 
1970 Soviet Venera 7 is 1st spacecraft to land on 
   another planet (Venus) 
1973 American Psychiatric Association declares homosexuality 
   is not mental illness
1979 Deposed Shah of Iran leaves US for Panamá 
1982 Roy Williams, Teamsters president, & 4 others convicted 
   of bribery 
1983 Last 80 US combat soldiers in Grenada withdrew
1995 Playboy goes back on sale after 36 year ban in Ireland 
2012  smiled

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