Mailwasher Filters 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, December 19

Yes, this is a Merry Christmas site.
If you don't like that, and don't want to get paid for
Christmas Day and Boxing Day, then your generic holiday is
coming up the day after March 31.
Jim & Linda, my name is DearWebby, not "humor". And I am not going to change my user name anywhere. ------------------ Metro Online Guess who will own the pictures of your grandkids and your dog and your spouse by Jan 16 ? And not give you a penny, if they make a few Million bucks by putting your picture of your sweetie is onto every soup can or dogfood bag. You have heard the phrase: "You have been volunteered." The newest phrase is: "You have been agreed." Have FUN! DearWebby
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In economics the majority is always wrong." --- John Kenneth Galbraith Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with. --- Bob Wells Every war has two sides, and just two. One of them is called the enemy side. --- Tacitus
Jane had a system for labeling homemade freezer meals. She would carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables" or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie." Everyday when she asked her husband what he wanted for dinner, he never asked for any of those meals. She decided to stock the freezer with his various requests. What he really likes. In Jane's freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food." No more frustration for Jane because no matter what her husband replies when she asks him what he wants for dinner, it's there waiting.
Thanks to Kati, today we have a Minnesota Special. Before any silly dogooders get their bloomers into a knot, I'll clarify the difference between Swedes and Norvegians. There isn't any. They are all Minnesotans, just some tell Norvegian jokes and some tell Swede jokes. Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?" "Just a minute," said the busy clerk. "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll just take da bus."
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Christine Meyers, 23, Chicago, Ill Jailed for Running Over Boyfriend, Tearing Skin Off His Testicles Reported by The Weekly Vice Christine Meyers, a 23-year-old Chicago woman was jailed Friday after she allegedly drove over her boyfriend, burning the skin off of his testicles in the process. According to police, Meyers had picked up her boyfriend from a bar Friday night when the couple began to argue. When the couple reached their Tinley Park residence, the boyfriend got out of the car and fell down or got knoked down or laid down in front of it. Meyers responded by driving over her boyfriend and burning some rubber on him.. Investigators say the victim suffered severe burns to his chest and back as a result of the assault. The skin covering his testicles was also burned and torn from his body, according to the arrest affidavit. Surgery will be required to correct the damage to the man's testicles, according to police. Meyers was booked into jail and charged with aggravated domestic battery. Her bond has been set at $100,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: MailWasher filters Dear Webby Question...I've been using Mailwasher for a number of years and find it beneficial. However, I have problems with making filters to do exactly what I want. Here is the latest concern. I found a message from Nick Bolton @ Mailwasher in my recycle folder. I tried to restore it but it kept getting deleted. My ISP showed it as SPAM and I have a filter that automatically deletes anything with SPAM in the subject line even though the sender may be on my friends list. Is there a way to still delete SPAM but not if the sender is on friends list? Merry Christmas and a healthy New Year Frank Dear Frank In the filters there is a checkbox about This Filter takes precedence over the Friends / Blacklist Watch out for that one. Also keep in mind that once a filter has paint-balled something, that item will no longer be considered. If it has been paint-balled red, it is spam, if it has been paint-balled green, it is good, no matter what other rules come later. You may have to move some filter rules up or down the list. Highliht it, and ust the little elevator button on the left under the filters to jack it up or down. Usually it is best to move the positive filters to the top. For example if the FROM Contains then consider it legitimate. That paint-balls all the good stuff green and takes it out of the battle. Then go after the stupid wotches and phorma stuff, paint-ball it red and and get that out of the way. And so on. It is just a strategy game, but you can easily win it. Just keep that paint-balled concept in mind. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Use Microwave Plate for Extra Serving Platter Use Microwave Plate for Extra Serving Platter When entertaining this holiday season and you find that you are in need of an extra platter, use the glass platter that's inside your microwave oven. Works like a charm. By annelaundrie Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support." "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks, myself."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it. "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet." "How come," asked Lars? "Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet she can't sing, and she does not scare de dogs like she did with de tuba."
Bright Lites

Today in 
1154 King Henry II of England crowned
1551 Dutch west coast hit by hurricane 
1688 King James II's wife & son flee to France 
1732 Benjamin Franklin (under the name Richard Saunders) 
   begins publication of "Poor Richard's Almanack" 
1788 Chinese troops occupy capital Thang Long Vietnam
1828 South Carolina declares the right of states to nullify 
   federal laws 
1843 Charles Dickens publishes "A Christmas Carol" in England 
1871 Albert L Jones (New York NY), patents corrugated paper
1904 The Dawson City (Yukon) hockey team begins 9 day walk to 
   Whitehorse to catch a train to Skagway, Alaska to get a boat 
   to Seattle to catch a train to Ottawa to play in the Stanley Cup 
   on January 13 1905 
1907 Gas explosion at Jacobs Creek PA coal mine kills 239 
1910 Rayon 1st commercially produced, Marcus Hook PA
1922 Mrs Theres Vaughn, 24, confessed in court to being 
   married 62 times 
1939 Russian air & ground attack against Finnish positions 
   near Summa 
1941 Hitler takes complete command of German Army 
1941 US Office of Censorship created to control info 
   pertaining to WWII 
1945 Austrian Republic re-establishes
1946 War breaks out in Indochina as Ho Chi Minh 
   attacks French in Hanoi
1949 Luxury passenger ship Aquitania demolished in 
   Garelock Scotland 
1950 Tibet's Dalai Lama flees Chinese invasion
1958 1st radio broadcast from space (recorded Christmas 
   message by President Eisenhower: "To all mankind, 
   America's wish for Peace on Earth & Good Will to 
   Men Everywhere") 
1961 British government begins decimal coin system
1962 Transit 5A1, 1st operational navigational satellite
1976 Piper Cherokee crashes into Baltimore Memorial Stadium 
   upper stands, 10 minutes after Colts lose 40-14 to Steelers; 
   No one seriously hurt 
1980 Iran requests $24 billion in US guarantees to free hostages 
1984 Wayne Gretzky, 23, is 18th & youngest NHL-er to 
score 1,000 points
1988 Unexploded WWII bomb found in Frankfurt, Germany-
   5,000 evacuated 
1991 Boris Yeltsin takes control of Kremlin
1995 Queen Elizabeth askes Prince Charles & Diana to divorce 
2012  smiled

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