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Today is Tuesday, January 1. Happy New year, ! I wish you All the Best for the New Year! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Yesterday a Tupolev 204 (Russian-made aircraft equivalent to an Airbus 321 or a shortened 757) overran the runway at Moscow Vnukovo airport and crashed into a nearby highway. View from the car behind the car, that got hit by a flying nose wheel and four seats. After the crash
Q. According to Cosmo magazine, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment
Thanks to Dianne for this story: Although I had never met my maternal grandfather, I knew that he had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager while leafing through an old photograph album with my Grandmother, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together. "Grand," I asked, "how could you have dated and fallen in love a man almost half a foot shorter than you?" She turned to me, gave me a sensuous wink and said, "Honey, we fell in love sitting down, and by the time I stood up, it was way too late for him."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Michele McLaughlin, 25, Orlando, Florida Pantless Woman Jailed for Repeatedly Honking Horn, Pulling Fire Alarm Reported by The Weekly Vice Michele McLaughlin, a 25-year-old Florida woman was jailed early Wednesday morning after she allegedly woke up an apartment complex when she ran outside without pants, honked her horn for 20 minutes and pulled a fire alarm. According to police, officers were dispatched to an Orlando apartment complex when neighbors reported that a woman was continually honking her horn and had activated a fire alarm. Officers arrived to find McLaughlin, who wasn't wearing pants and appeared intoxicated. When officers asked Mclaughlin why she was causing a commotion at 4:30 in the morning, she stated that she went out to her car but was unable to find her way back to her friend's apartment. She went on to say that she honked her horn in an attempt to get her friend's attention. Witnesses told police that McLaughlin honked her horn for 20 minutes, then went to the second floor and tried to open every apartment door before pulling the fire alarm. McLaughlin was booked into the Orange County Jail and charged with preventing or obstructing fire-suppression equipment. There was no report whether police checked if her friend had died, or just sent her for a paper bag or sobered up.
Tech Support Pits From: Kitty Re: Not getting my Newsletter Dear Webby I don't know what happened. But I'm not getting your humor letter anymore. This is the last one I got. Always kitty Dear Kitty You are in the list and I sent your newsletter out every night. You may have to white-list mail from humor@webby.com to get it through your or your ISP's spam control. Are you aware that either your your date or your time zone setting is totally wacky? It tries to indicate, that you are in my future. Look at the date stamp of your letter! With the date wrong, your email program will sort everything wrongly. If you sort by Sender, you will probably see your newsletter. Once you got your date and time zone fixed, everything should show up again as usual. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Microwave To Refresh Masking Tape If your masking tape comes off in little pieces, zap the roll of tape in the microwave 10-20 seconds and it will work as it should. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

Suffering from a bad case of the flu, the outraged patient bellowed, "Three weeks? The doctor can't see me for three weeks? I could well be dead by then!" Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you have your wife call to cancel the appointment?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress... The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The computer scientist says, "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My wife thinks I'm with my mistress. My mistress thinks I'm home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!"
» Seriously Twisted Trees
Sew much Comfort

Today in 
5777 -BC- Origin of Solar Cycle
4714 -BC- Origin of Julian Period (Year 0) 
0001 Origin of Christian Era 
0069 Roman garrison of Mainz uprising 
0404 Last gladiator competition in Rome
1502 Portuguese navigators discover Rio de Janeiro 
1622 Papal Chancery adopts Jan 1 as beginning of the year
   (was Mar 25) 
1700 Protestant West-Europe (except England) begin using
   Gregorian calendar 
1701 Great Britain & Ireland union is in effect, creating 
  United Kingdom
1772 1st traveler's checks issued (London) 
1788 Quakers in Pennsylvania emancipate their slaves 
1797 Albany replaces New York City as capital of NY 
1808 Congress prohibits importation of slaves 
1818 Official reopening of the White House 
 (the dastardly Canucks had burned it down in the War of 1812)
1833 British government demands Falkland islands
1833 British government demands Falkland islands
1853 1st practical fire engine (horse-drawn) in US
1858 Canada begins using decimal currency system 
1862 1st US income tax (3% of incomes > $600, 
  5% of incomes > $10,000) 
1880 Building of Panamá Canal, begins 
1896 Wilhelm Röntgen announces his discovery of x-rays
1899 Cuba liberated from Spain by US (National Day) 
   (US occupies till 1902) 
1912 Sun Yat-sen forms Chinese Republic
1922 Vancouver BC starts driving on the right side of road 
1934 Alcatraz officially becomes a federal prison
1947 Britain nationalizes its coal industry 
1948 Britain nationalizes its railways
1950 Ho Chi Minh begins offensive against French 
   troops in Indo-China
1951 Massive Chinese/North Korean assault on UN-lines
1957 France returns Saar to becomes the 10th state of 
  German Federal Republic
1958 European Economic Community (Common Market) starts 
   operation 
1959 Castro leads Cuba to victory as Fulgencio Batista 
   flees to Dominican Republic
1965 Palestinian al-Fatah organization forms 
1971 Cigarette advertisements banned on TV 
1976 Venezuela nationalizes oil fields
1979 Jura, 26th canton of Switzerland, established 
1980 Mob storms Russian embassy in Teheran 
1984 Brunei becomes independent of UK 
1992 Europe breaks down internal trade barriers 
1993 Czechoslovakia separates into Czech Republic (Bohemia) 
   & Slovakia 
1995 Austria, Finland & Sweden act to join European Union
1998 All California bars, clubs & card rooms must be 
   smoke-free 
2012  smiled


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