Drain cleaner without going to the store 

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Today is Thursday, January 3.

Have FUN!

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Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy. --- Nora Ephron The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. --- Victor Hugo
My 2 1/2-year-old niece, Kelly, went with a neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the "Host," in this case, a piece of bread, he says, "God be with you." Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelly took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice, "God will get you."
Thanks to Dianne for this confession: The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students took over. "Your hard drive crashed," he said. I called the computer services office and explained, "My computer is down. The hard drive crashed." "We can't just send people down on your say-so. How do you know that's the problem?" "A student told me," I answered. "We'll send someone over right away."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Heather Cooksey, 27, Alexandria, La. Cutest caught teacher of the week: Jailed for Having Sex With Student Reported by The Weekly Vice Heather Cooksey, a 27-year-old teacher at Tioga High School was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had sex with a student. According to the Rapides Parish Sheriff's Office, Cooksey was arrested after it was discovered that she had engaged in a sexual relationship with an underage student who attends the school. Investigators have not released additional information, citing that the investigation is ongoing and expect more to be revealed soon. She was booked into the Rapides Parish Detention Center and charged with two counts of carnal knowledge of juveniles.
Tech Support Pits From: Rosie Re: Drain cleaner without going to the store Dear Webby How do I clean out my sink drain if I don't have any drain cleaner? Mine is running slow and I can't get to the store to get drain cleaner. Rosie Dear Rosie Coffee grounds help to clean out a drain, that is only slow and not stopped up. Always dump the used filters into the sink and rinse them off, before you heave them into the garbage. As long as you don't have a peach pit or anything hard like that, daily use of coffee grounds will keep your drains clean and fast. By the way, I learned from Ophelia, if you rinse off your coffe filters and drape them over a can or glass to dry, you can get over hundred uses out of each filter. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Liquid Paper to Fix Chips in Paint I bought a used white formica bedroom set with chips. The moving man told me to use white Liquid Paper correction fluid to cover it up. This was for a matte finish. It worked great. Many years later, my white refrigerator had a small chip. I fixed it the same way. No one can tell where the chip is. If I had a glossy finish, I would then put a coat of clear nail polish on top. By Judy Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week, and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer." He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Dianne for this story: I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh", ... I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
» Comical critters
Sew much Comfort

Today in 
1431 Joan of Arc handed over to the bishop 
1521 Martin Luther excommunicated by Roman Catholic Church
1825 Scottish factory owner Robert Owen buys 30,000 acres
  in Indiana as site for New Harmony utopian community
1833 Britain seizes control of Falkland Islands
1847 California town of Yerba Buena renamed San Francisco
1865 Con Orem & Hugh O'Neill box 193 rounds before 
  darkness ends match
1870 Brooklyn Bridge construction begins; completed 
  May 24, 1883 
1871 Oleomargarine patented by Henry Bradley, Binghamton NY
1872 1st patent list issued by US Patent Office
1888 1st waxed drinking straw patented, by Marvin C Stone
   in Washington DC
1910 British miners strike for 8 hour working day 
1921 Turkey makes peace with Armenia 
1924 British Egyptologist Howard Carter finds sarcophagus
  of Tutankhamun
1925 Mussolini dissolves Italian parliament/becomes dictator 
1938 March of Dimes established to fight polio
1941 Canada & US acquire air bases in Newfoundland 
   (99 year lease)
1941 Italian counter offensive in Albania 
1943 Canadian Army troops arrive in North Africa 
1945 US aircraft carriers attack Okinawa
1957 1st electric watch introduced, Lancaster PA 
1958 Edmund Hillary reaches South Pole overland 
1959 Alaska admitted as 49th US state
1961 US breaks diplomatic relations with Cuba
1962 Pope John XXIII excommunicates Fidel Castro
1969 John Lennon's "2 Virgins" album declared 
  pornographic in New Jersey 
1977 Apple Computer incorporated 
1989 Jim & Tammy Bakker return to TV
1990 Panamá's leader General Manuel Noriega surrenders to US
1991 Los Angeles King Wayne Gretzky scores his 700th goal
1994 35-foot-tall Chief Wahoo, trademark of Indians on top 
  of Stadium since 1962, is taken down, to be moved to 
  Jacob's Field 
2013  smiled

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