Excel formula for IF and the DATE 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, January 9

By the time you read this, I will be on the way to
Calgary for more injections into my eyes.
That means there won't be any newsletters on 
Thursday, Friday, and probably Saturday.

Have FUN!

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Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. --- Thomas Jones
>From Ed My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising company offered to put my father's business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my dad jumped at the chance. Fully a year went by before we got a call that could be traced to those placards. "Richard Larson, CPA?" the caller asked. "That's right," my father answered. "May I help you?" "Yes," the voice said. "One of your shopping carts is in my yard, and I want you to come and get it."
Chinese Switchboard: Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? Operator : Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this? Caller: I'm Sum Wan, and I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator: I know U are someone and U want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I'm Saw Lee. Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Taped Icelander Bonehead tapd to chair after becoming unruly during flight. Reported by The Weekly Vice An unidentified man aboard a flight from Iceland to New York was reportedly restrained by the flight crew and passengers after he allegedly became unruly during the flight and threatened the safety of other passengers. Witnesses say the man began to choke a woman seated next to him while screaming that the plane was going to crash. Efforts to calm the man down failed, prompting passengers and flight crew to restrain the man with duct tape and plastic zip ties. According to the port authority of New York and New Jersey, a 46-year-old man was taken into custody at JFK airport after he became intoxicated and created a disturbance during the flight. Because the passengers and crew had to meet connecting flights or meet relatives, they did not want to spend time giving detailed statements and so prosecutors declined to charge the bonehead. It seems he was released after he had sobered up. Tech Support Pits From: Lisa Re: Spreadsheet IF formula Dear Webby I use an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of birthdays. I got the dates in the second column, and need a formula to put the date also in the first column, if the date is within one day of today or before. Can that be done? Lisa Dear Lisa Yes, sure! Type or paste this into the topmost cell of the area, where you got the dates in the second column: =IF(B1-2<.TODAY(),B1,"") (Ignore the red period, that is just to make the formula show as a formula on all email programs.) Then copy that down as far as where the dates in the second column end. All the birthdays, that are within the range you specify between the - and the < will show up in the first column. If the first column shows some silly number, then format that column to show in date format. To make it a bit more elegant, insert a new row above all that stuff, and type column headings into it. If column K is free, put for example the number 3 into the top there. Then edit the formula to read =IF(B1-$K$1<.TODAY(),B1,"") (Ignore the red period, that is just to make the formula show as a formula on all email programs.) and copy that down the first column. Now the formula will look up what you got in K1 and use that as the criteria, in this case, 3 You will get a safety margin of whatever you got in K1 days minus 1. If you want a 7 day safety margin, put 8 into K1 You can change the safety margin without messing with the dates. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Old Liquid Makeup as a Fun Learning Tool Use old liquid makeup for a fun learning tool. There are some foundation liquids that I don't like or they get old so I lay waxed paper down and let my granddaughter practice her letter writing. It is a fun, tactile way to use up some of the old makeup instead of throwing it away. By lnygaard By LMN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I telephoned the hospital to see if the baby had arrived, the nurse said it had. I asked if it was a boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy to give this information over the phone. "Fine," I said. "I can understand that. But can you tell me what she didn't have?" "It wasn't a boy," came the reply.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The teacher told the kids to draw a grassy meadow and a cow eating the grass. By the end of the hour, all the kids had some more or less artistic rendering of that topic, except for . had a blank page. So the teacher asked, "Where is your grass?" answered: "The cow ate it all." Then the teacher asked: "Where is the cow?" answered: "When there was no grass left, the cow walked away. ---------------------- If you have "Mrs Endaphelia Crofton-Dinglebert-Smythe III" in the filed, where I had asked you to put your FIRST NAME, then that joke falls flat. Tell me what your first name is, and I will fix that.
» Amazing Photos

Today, Jan 9, in 
1349 700 Jews of Basel Switzerland, burned alive in their
1493 1st sight of manatees (by Christopher Columbus) 
1570 Tsar Ivan the terrible kills 1000-2000 residents 
   of Novgorod 
1760 Afghans defeat Marathas in battle of Barari Ghat 
1793 Jean Pierre Blanchard makes 1st balloon flight in 
   North America
1839 Daguerrotype photo process announced at French 
   Academy of Science 
1839 Thomas Henderson measures 1st stellar parallax 
   (Alpha Centauri) 
1855 Clipper Guiding Star disappears in Atlantic, 480 die
1861 1st hostile act of Civil War; Star of the West fired on,
   Sumter SC
1861 Mississippi becomes 2nd state to secede
1880 6' (1.8 meters) of snow falls in Seattle in 5 days
1912 US marines invade Honduras 
1936 Semi-automatic rifles adopted by US army
1941 6,000 Jews exterminated in pogrom in Bucharest Romania
1945 US soldiers led by General Douglas MacArthur invade
1951 Life After Tomorrow, 1st film to receive an "X" rating,
1956 Abigail Van Buren's "Dear Abby" column 1st appears 
   in newspapers
1964 Anti-US rioting breaks out in the Panamá Canal Zone
1969 Concorde jetliner's 1st test flight (Bristol England) 
1972 Billionaire Howard Hughes said Clifford Irving's 
   biography is a fake
1972 Passenger ship Queen Elizabeth destroyed by fire 
1980 63 beheaded in Mecca, Saudi Arabia 
1985 Calgary Flames set NHL record 264th regular season game
   without being shut-out 
1987 Chinese/Vietnamese border fights, 1500 killed 
1995 Ecuador & Peru involve in boundary fight 
1998 Decapitated head of Danish Little Mermaid is returned
1998 Hockey News selects Wayne Gretzky best NHL player ever 
2013  smiled

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